It makes sense, but in reality if she's not into you in a dating sense, then you're either going to get friendzoned or just plain rejected.

I don't know what kinds of women you're into, so I can't figure out if you're being realistic or unrealistic. What I mean by those terms is generally when someone is thinking realistically, then he/she understands how people are, and dates men or women who truly fit the standards they want out of a mate without changing who those people are.

Thinking UNREALISTICALLY is what many do. This is especially the case when you see women go from one bad boy to the next. I've seen enough women who want a man that's sweet, kind, sensitive, will be loyal and love her...but they want that packaged as a shallow guido meathead. That's unrealistic...it's one in a billion that will happen. Same deal when I see men chase the shallow miniskirt and heels nightclub women, thinking she'll become the good girl she can take home to mom, and won't sit there looking around to "upgrade" when she meets better looking men.

If you honestly believe you think realistically, then it might be in your approach and mannerisms with the women you persue. It could also be just factors around you, like your interest in shooting guns and fireworks, or that you're divorced and have children. Some things you can't change...it's really down to finding the woman who isn't bothered by those things.

If you honestly believe you think unrealistically, then you have to seriously do some soul searching and redefine what you see as the "ideal woman". Believe me, ten years ago I was all into the wild nightclub women (hence why I keep using them as examples)...but I wanted a nice girl. Can you see the irony there?

I had to sit and think and take time...and figure out that the women I was pursuing would NEVER give me what I wanted in a relationship. I had to look at myself and realize I was very average looking, when these women wanted above average looking men with way more money than me. I realized these women are not loyal to any men, and thus would not be the kind of woman for me. Now I'm more into sophisticated, laid back, artsy girls. The girl I could make a candlelit dinner for and would want to chill out with me one night, as opposed to always going out drinking. The girl who would go to a gallery opening with me, or be interested in seeing cultures of other cities and countries, as opposed to just flying to the party spots of the globe.

You get what I mean?

So ask.

Some people just get attraction to those who show them little or no interest and yet run from those who show them interest. I like to call those "headcases".

Other times, men and women put on a completely different face when they meet someone they're attracted to. Sometimes people will be all "there" and "into" someone and trying to be overly nice or overly "cool" to them, when maybe their more true self would attract said person. The way you are with friends basically.

There is also the factor that maybe the people who can't seem to attract those they are attracted to are shooting for someone whom would never see them as attractive. Like the class nerd trying to hook up with the head cheerleader when she's only attracted to athletes.

Many times it's just a factor of mis-matches. Maybe she would be attracted to someone like you, but just not you in particular.

My suggestions:

1) Look at the kinds of women you want, then look at yourself. Are you really the kind of guy they would want? Same deal with women looking at men.

2) Make sure when you see the women you would like, that you're not imagining a relationship with them that would never exist. Like if you're into the wild nightclub girls, don't fathom the idea that she would be curled up on the couch with you on a Saturday night, like some homebody. Same deal with women. If he's more the laid back blue-collar homebody who loves sports and beer, don't imagine him as a classy gentleman who will go to fancy restaurants and the opera with you.

3) Make sure you're showing your real self and your best self. Don't be someone you're not hoping that will get you results. Just treat women like you treat your friends...without being vulgar or anything like that. Be more calm and don't worry yourself about trying to force sparks to happen.



mustangtom...I'd also tell you that you should write way more in your profile and maybe a few more images. Show women here you're more serious about meeting them as opposed to a quickly-made profile that will just think you're not too serious.

lol english term for "bad at" hun

never have im rubbish at it and it bores me lol..

Because you are afraid of intimacy. You chose women who you know you can't have, and the ones you can have, don't interest you because you know it may lead to something.

Sorry, dime store psychologist here....

yeh..been there, done that

set your standards lower...lower expectations will help you...and mutual match

its just sods law hun..but it will happen when it happens

i hate cooking

mustang lover. old or new car.. i love the old ones

They want to do something,really they do. They are just thinking of what to do

if only if you were near me.. then yea

Maybe....

Hey,that's my nickname from school!!!