Yeah! That post made it by unscathed.

>:|

Yeeeeeeeeahno.

Exactly!

Who could refuse me? I'm just wondahful! Wondahful!

>:|

I'm still better than you!

(Even the thought of that makes me smile.)

:)

Thanks. :)

It's actually just a standard part of the form, as it happens, of course. It's why I love Villanelles: The metered, rhyming pattern, the aesthetic repetition. Dylan Thomas truly did the form justice, though.

Repetitious, over-lapping:
reflections on a pond,
a magic universe of light and waves.

Walk in space, like a mis-fit God,
surpassing the beauty of the pond,
humming it's songs of Summer
for the cold vaccuum of space,
majestic in it's silent reign over everything
...and nothing....

***

Hello. I believe we have chatted before, no?

I really like this poem. A lot. However, with a few modifications (mainly mechanical), it would be absolute perfection. The title drew me in right away, mainly because it was different and tangible. And simple. Good.

Suggested additions.
Suggested subtractions.

For the very last part, the ellipsis points seem unnecessary; the ending has more force without them while maintaining its mysterious, ambiguous flair.

The modified version would look like this:

Repetitious, over-lapping:
reflections on a pond,
a magic universe of light and waves.

Walk in space, like a mis-fit God,
surpassing the beauty of the pond,
humming its songs of Summer
for the cold vacuum of space,
majestic in its silent reign over everything
and nothing.

***

Well done.

Oh, I like it. I like the "twist" at the end, as well. I was not expecting it, given the serene scene you painted leading up to it. Well done.

The only thing I might suggest--idly suggest, if you'd like to consider it--concerns these lines:



For the bold line, could this be re-worded perhaps? First, it is a bit redundant to say "blowing sighs"; second, wind "sighing" and "blowing" relies on rather dull, predictable verbs to use describing wind's actions. Perhaps something more terse, original? I will not make specific suggestions, since this is, in fact, your poem.

Other than that, this is pretty good, madam.

I Love You Like Grass Loves the Sun

I love you like grass loves the sun
without the knowledge of its height;
my heart does not need feet to run.

As raindrops on my leaves I shun
I hunger for your spearing light;
I love you like grass loves the sun.

The grass discounts when day's begun
its race, though grass grows deep and right;
my heart does not need feet to run.

If love could know when it has won,
it would be when sun swords the night;
I love you like grass loves the sun.

I take you now and will take none
besides your mind and heart so bright;
a heart does not need feet to run.

Give them the stars I have the one,
the one that makes the dark take flight;
I love you like grass loves the sun;
my heart does not need feet to run.

***

"Out of character," you say? Nah.

Innuendo? Seriously? I have no idea what you're talking about.

Uh, not really. If that is what you meant, then your ability to get that point across is so...jejune that I pretty much gleaned the opposite view from your post. But okay. Whatever you say, pops!

Your point seemed to be, "yeah, well, 'significance' is always 'in the mind,'" but you failed quite completely at defining what "in the mind" or what "significance" meant. So, thought I'd respond with a bit of clarity. Whatever!

Defiance? This will not pass.

Quite obviously, "significance" is always "in the mind," but even more obviously, our own definitions of what is "significant" (as in, what has a specific meaning to which we, often arbitrarily or superstitiously, assign it) may very well contradict reality. It is a matter of our misinterpreting information in reality to match our often paranoid/superstitious presumptions of what is going on.

I may believe every time I see a watermelon, a women in Africa gives birth to twins, but the odds of that *actually happening* seem rather slim, don't you think? Sure, I may be right *some* of the time, in some rare cases, but, mainly, it's superstitious nonsense. More often than not, I'm just seeing watermelons; that's all.

Riiight. Well, judging by his mother's reaction, I severely doubt "the truth" lies in Algeria. Lol. Sometimes, we just get paranoid; and sometimes, we make things out to be *significant to us,* when, really, we just want to feel "special." It has nothing to do with the pursuit of truth; it has to do with overemphasizing trivialities to makes ourselves feel more important.

How's that grab ya, SkyHook?

O_O

Of course you would not realize that the personification of perfection would be female--and, namely, me.

You are mortal, finite, and, of course, inferior in all senses. So I am not surprised!

Now, go make me a sandwich.

Oh, hahaha, you guys--you thought I was joking this whole time about my infinite superiority? Oh, now, that's funny! Haha, oh man!

>:|

Yes.

...

Also, I believe you may have been "disinformed," as well. Lol. That might explain a few things.

No, not really. Well, yes, really, but anyway...

I think many people blow things (like, dreams, yes, and trivial experiences) way, way, way, etc. out of proportion. If you believe there is some significance to a thing/person/event, then you will be more apt to notice similar objects/people/occurrences. The significance to these things is only in your mind.

The End.

Let it go and stop scaring your poor mother.

Hey guys! Guess what?

Yeah.

I never said you personally wrote poetry--I couldn't care less! I was speaking in general, you poor, lowly creature.

Yes. I know. But you're right that it is a waste.

*Snaps*

YEET! YEET YOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWwwwwwwwww

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wwwwwww! t!

Mr. Warf? Is that you?

And I care what you think? No. :)

I only experience what I am forced to describe as "passive-ephemeral hatred" towards you philistines when I happen upon, say, your "poetry" on here or anything that involves you "writing" anything at all. Oh wait, that's everything! So I guess I do hate you all and everything I know about you.

Otherwise, no, you are not even rewarded a place in the "dismal long-term memories to-be-translated-into-background-material-for-my-darkest-nightmares section" of my subconscious mind.

Thanks for you input, though!

It speaks, yet it says nothing. I can't say I'm surprised.

Okay, seriously, mods, why do you move ALL my threads or threads about me to the "Chit Chat" forums? I am not a freakin' Spammer, and for all intents and purposes, my threads are deeper and more philosophical than the "intellectual" (ha) threads seen in other sub-forums. To you, I say a hearty "tsh!"

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!

>:D