never miss it

yep any kind racing.its in my blood

ouch way funny

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500
employees and has the following statistics:

29 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad checks
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault
71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

Can you guess which organization this is?

It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group that
cranks out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of
us in line.

Beware the intimate Internet!
Beware the chatrooms with closed doors
Where naked names cruise midnight shores
And fall in love before they've met.

Beware, O wives and husbands real,
The lonely rivals virtual
Whose words, or chaste or sexual,
May from your beds affections steal.

Beware the posh imagination,
More vivid far than earthly flesh.
Beware the way two dreams can mesh
In ecstasy beyond sensation.

Beware the fantasy that speaks,
The vague ideal that springs a soul.
No marriage can avoid the shoal
That lies beneath such sun-drenched peaks.

No love but may retreat to stone
As sirens sad the heart entice.
Two names entwine in paradise
While here two lovers lie alone.


written by Nicholas Gordon

We met upon the Internet,
A friendship electronic,
Expressed alone in words and thoughts,
Inevitably platonic.

We live too far apart for us
To mingle in the flesh,
But much more close than family,
Our hearts and feelings mesh.

Your dear, dear self reveals itself
Without a voice or face.
We have our own sweet home within
Our precious cyberspace.

not mine written by Nicholas Gordon

At a local college dance, a guy from America asked the girl from Sweden
to dance.

While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In
America, we call this a hug".

She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a hug too."

A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, "In America,
we call this a kiss".

She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too."

Towards the end of the night, and a lot of drinks later, he takes her
out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her, and says, "In
America, we call this a grass sandwich".

She says, "Yaaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too, but we
usually put more meat in it."

ashley force
john force

I would set up an organization to help our military familys that have
lost loved ones or have loved ones over seas.and set my kids up.

go to your fav list theres a little x click it

gone in sixty seconds

if u watch mythbusters they tested that myth it doesn't happen from a
cell phone at the gas station

hey purple I'm about 40 minutes from there

way to go poison,whether the war is right or wrong our boys are still
there giving their lives so we can enjoy the freedoms we have.God bless
our soldiers

cute kids by the way

hi there welcome mommie

A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs
the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is
just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can,
with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his
first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is
proud of him.

Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar
patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in
disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops
out!

The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father,
shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another
drink"! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.

Swoooop! Two arms pops out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and
wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, "Take another
drink"! The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is
getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink
and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out.

The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks
God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left.... then
to the right.... right through the front door, into the street, where a
truck runs over him and kills him instantly.

The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and
says, "That boy should have quit while he was a head."

When Mr.. Wilkins answered the door late in the evening one day after
he'd lost his wife scuba diving, he was greeted by two grim-faced
policemen. "We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we
have some information about your wife."

"Well...tell me!" he demanded.

The policeman said, "We have some bad news, some pretty good news, and
some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Fearing the worse, Mr. Wilkins said, "Give me the bad news first."

So the policeman said, "I'm sorry to tell you sir, but we found your
wife's body this morning in San Francisco Bay."

"OH MY GOD!," said Mr. Wilkens, overcome by emotion. Then, remembering
what the policeman had said, he asked, "What's the good news?"

"Well," said the policeman, "When we pulled her up she had two
five-pound lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeoness crabs on her."

"Huh?" he said, not understanding. "So, what's the great news?"

The policeman smiled, licked his chops, and said, "We're going to pull
her up again tomorrow morning."

yes
no
yes
no
yes