Jefferson here..

I know, it's just that I know how the original poster feels... and am getting a little discouraged myself.

Getting interested in two women who turn out to be married is just salt in that wound.

The reasons we nice guys finish last???

-We stop and help those that fall...
-We don't run over others or push them out of our way to get where/what we want.
-We take the time to enjoy the trip, not focus on JUST the finish line.

The good news? Is that the NICE GALS do the same thing and they'll get to the finish line when we do. All the rude people will finish in their little group and deserve each other!

Well, at 33, divorced after nearly 12 years of marriage from my high school sweetheart.. I feel like a fish out of water. Honestly, I never "Dated" around, and never thought I would be in a situation where I had to.

I have no clue what to do, how to act, what to say... meaning that, I'm really waiting for the right woman to reach out to me (???) The big problem with that is, the only women showing interest in me are TRUE Cougers (over 60!!!) and married women who claim to be divorced.

You would be surprised, but there are a lot more of us out here than you think.

We just keep a lower profile, not popping in to every thread flirting or making offcolor or dirty comments. (And, I will admit to having made a few myself, but always in jest...)

Well, go back and review the emails you sent them and see if you tried to ENGAGE them in dialog.

Sometimes, us guys have to be prompted to talk. Ask us how we are doing, you'll get a "FINE and you?"

Want to know more detail, ask for it.

Try me. Sure, I can toss out the quick comments now and again, but I can also get into some very DEEP discussions.

Oh, I love cooking in the kitchen... and making food while I'm at it!!

One of my favorite things when I was married was working together in the kitchen... sneaking a little kiss as I reached around to grab something in front of her, pinching her rear when I leaned to get something out of the cabinet... smearing cake batter on her cheek and licking it off....

I'm getting "Hungry" just thinking about it!

So do those black squares they tend to put over my face on tv...

Women can be just as bad about us "stocky" guys! I've lost 90 lbs since my wife left me and I still can't get the time of day from women.

I know the OP's feelings. Too frustrated to keep looking, to lonely to give up!

I think we are looking for something "real."

Let me just say this, looking for that ONE person too hard can be like looking too hard for your car keys.... you overlook the obvious places, and they could be right in front of you.

Relax, look for friends... build friendships. Odds are, one of those friends will turn out to be "the one." It might take a couple of years, but the two of you will find each other.

Good Luck!

One of my changes... I have about 500 calories for breakfast, a 250 cal morning snack, about 500 calories for lunch, another 250 cal afternoon snack, and a 500 calorie dinner. That puts me at a target of 2,000 calories a day.

I also calculate how much a burn working out/walking, and if I can budget it, I'l have another small(100-250 calorie) evening snack.

Honestly, I'm not eating any less than I did before. I am eating food BETTER for me, but the key is I've spread it out to keep my metabolisim running, and make it more likly for my body to process and use it as I take it in.

G.I.Joe (Toys and Show), Transfomers (Toy and show), Smurfs, Snorks, Kid Vid, Thundercats, He-Man (tys and Show)....

Thanks!!!




No diet - life change! I sent you an email with the details about what I've changed.

yeah - I thought about what I would have said... I might have gone with "My weight loss will be cheaper than your plastic surgery."

Remember, Beauty is only skin deep - but UGLY goes to the BONE!

82 lbs since Labor day weeken, 2007. It started when my ex said she had an affair and was leaving me... I was too sick to eat for days...

Something CLICKED as I was sitting there in the floor a few days later... and I just got up, put on my iPod and went for a LONG WALK. (Think about how Forrest Gump just went running when Jenny left him...) - during that walk, I had a Stuart Smilley moment and decided I was going to take my life and body back.

Thanks and congrats right back at you!!

And, as I said, I've very attracted to BBW's and curvy women. I also know my own mind and know that it could be DANGEROUS for me...

OK - but you know there are a lot of us here that worry about you!!

(Oh, I feel the pain on the no sex thing... it's been HOW MANY MONTHS sine my ex walked out??? )

You would Debbie, you would!!

BTW - becareful on that detox about not eating. Don't push it too hard. We don't want you getting sick on us!

Never said that, and sorry if it seems if that's what I was saying.

For the record, my ex ate "fairly" healthy... she didn't encourage me to - instead, she made snide comments about what I ate that had the opposite effect. And, at some point, we both just gave up on it.

That, and she didn't WANT to be active... she would rather sit and watch TV, and if I was up doing stuff, even working around the house, it annoyed her and she would encourage me to sit around.

That's the situation I'm trying to avoid again. I need that commitment to be active and eat healthy - even if they DO eat healthy now... and It's nothing I will not be willing to commit to myself. (not asking anything of anyone I wouldn't do myself.)


EDIT - While I'm not saying someone would shove a hamburger in my face and say EAT IT... I want someone that is going to urge me to get the grilled chicken instead... as opposed to when my ex would look at my burger, say "that looks good, I'll take the same but with a side of mayo to dip my fries in."