Did they spike?

Thank you

Come hither

I had a date a few months back with a girl,She seemed normal.
On my way she calls and asked if I would like to walk around ikea.Tell her it sounds good.
Ok ,so I get there and need to use the bathroom,on the way to the toilet I pass by the pantry and the door is open so I take a look see.

I'll I have to say is wow...A collection of perscriptions that any drugstore cowboy would be proud to call his own.

So I think hey,everyone has problems,I come back down stairs and we get ready to go.She wants to take her car because I drove about 30 miles across town.I'm thinking wow,that's really nice.
We jump in the car and my belly's screaming "feed me"I ask if she wants some food ,
she wants to go to a vegan resturaunt.

Strike one.......

I'm definetly into a large bloody steak with a side of bacon.So I'm being nice and we go to this granola eating hippie joint and I don't know what to order so i make the mistake having her order for me..

Our food comes[\shudder ,I'm sitting there moving this semi gelatinous mass about my plate Wondering if it's some demon spawn sent from the darkest bowls of hell intent on staeling my soul to gind up in the large blender on the counter behind me to serve to these tofu eating freaks.

Anyways i choke down the shape shifting succubus Hoping my stomach acid is stong enough to kill it before it can take me over.I was proud I only had to turn around twice to gag.

We get back in the car and she throws in a backstreet boys cd...EWWWWWWWWW I fight the urge to puke up the boiling grren mass I had eaten earlier all over the dash and call it a night.BUT I haven't had a date in two months and I think this girl may be off her meds and I might get some tonight.

Did I forget strike two for the backstreet boys?


We get to Ikea and start shopping.I push the cart around saying "That's nice" about 5 billion times looking at all that particalboard and plastic crap I would'nt pay a dime for,Then comes a foul ball(It would have been a strike but I was pretty horny)"I think we sould maybe Take it easy for a while ..Huh "This is the first time I've seen you After the second email iI sent you"I say,See gives me a half hearted glare.


Finaly After walking around the store for the longest 3 hours of my life she says"lets go back to my place and watch a movie and stuff"Sweet!!! My gears start turning.Maybe I can end this awful curse haunting my very dream eating at my soul day in and day out.We gwt to the cashier.She forgot her bankcard.I want th hell out of there so I thow mine on the counter hoping she'll stop digging thru her purse like a crackhead looking for his last rock after a three day binge.

Drive home I get to listen to the backstreet boys....

we get back to here place and the nieghbor is in her spot.She's pissed.So I'm listening to her whining and *****ing about her space is being parked in.So what..JeeezeI'm grabbing the bags out.
While walking up to her place I notice her at her nieghbors door.Thier arguing,great.All of a sudden she ripps this girl out of her door and starts beating her ass..

Wow...Holy mother of god I was soo freakn embarrased.Her boyfriend run outside and looks at me,I just shrug my shoulders and put down the bags.I walk out to my truck and just leave.As I'm pulling out she is beating her head against a stucco retainer wall.

So I'm about 15 mins down the road and i get a text.I can't belive you left me like that...I said you need help.She says but I love you...I say dont contact me again or I'll get a restraining order..

I'm scared to date again

All the girls I've met are phycotic..

I'd grow one just for you darlin'

Love that collar sweetie..

I want to play.

Fed ex me some champ.

Your qualified,you have a flavor saver

Oh i thought it said taster

Looks kinda like a prelude to a pegging..

Officail chick taster for David Allen Coe

Light a match please.

Should have just replied''Good for you""

I always seem to be the single one and all my friends are married

This.