I love setting friends up with this gag.

I walk into a room where a friend is and start sniffing the air as if something smells bad. The friend usually asks, "What's wrong" or "What's going on?" I look confused and ask, "Have you ever smelled mothballs?" The victim usually says, "Yeah." I grin and ask, "How'd you get their little legs apart?"

Try it on a friend. It works nearly every time.

A little poem to enjoy:

Minerva from Boston, Mass
Was in water up to her ankles.
It doesn't rhyme now,
But wait 'till the tide comes in.

James, your quirky discussion prompted me to reach out. I sent you an email today. I'd like to correspond with any young, gay writer even though I'm an old gay writer. I'm not looking for anything more than friendship. Get in touch.

What did the deer say when she walked out of the woods?

That's the last time I do that for two bucks.

Three blond girls were walking in the woods one day and came across some tracks. The first blond said, "I think those are deer tracks." The second said, "No they're probably moose tracks." The third said, "I sure hope they're not bear tracks!" Then the train hit em.

I went to a new doctor recently, but he's super stupid. I asked him for a stool softener. He handed me a cushion.

Grandpa and Grandma had just gotten up on the morning of their 50th wedding anniversary and were about to eat breakfast when Granma said, “Happy fiftieth anniversary, Irvine. Do you remember what we were wearing the first time we had breakfast together on our honeymoon?” He grinned, winked and said playfully, “I sure do, Sweetie. We weren’t wearing anything. We were naked.” She then said, “You know, Honey, we could do that again right now.” He nodded and said, “You a dirty old lady but it sounds like a great idea; let’s do it” Each went off and stripped before returning to the table. After giving each other a somewhat prolonged kiss, they took their places across from one another at the kitchen table. Grandma started giving Irvine the eye and finally said, “My God, Sweetie, this is so exciting. Why I haven’t felt this excited in years. I…well…I got to tell you. My heart’s racing and my breasts are feeling hot and tingly.” Irvine looked at her then smiled wistfully as he said, “Well, Honey, that’s because one of them is in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal.”