LOL

Ya, I'm funny like that. It's from a book I wrote. I am a huge vintage fanatic, and I hoped the intro could get some hype. Oh well.

"The age of aspics and gelatin dishes should have been no longer than a decade. Yet it wasn’t. The idea took off in the 1940s, following the Great Depression. The world was still fighting another war, because someone couldn’t leave well enough alone. Because everything with regards to prices and produce was still kerflooey, people had to make do with odds and ends for dishes, and somewhere along the way, someone piped up, and said, “Hey! You know what we should start using for our dinners? Jell-O!” That person, as enthusiastic as they were, set the stage for forty years of a Gelatin Mold Dynasty. On that note, if that person is still out there… no, never mind. Some things are better left un-typed.
Jell-O Mold dishes had their peak from the 1950s to the 1970s. In the fifties, having a gelatin dish on for a get-together meal was the best thing to prepare. Come the seventies, Weight-Watchers went gung-ho on the gelatin and aspic bandwagon, and came up with some rather displeasing dishes that probably, unfortunately, made people who were planning to shed a few pounds discard the notion entirely and go back for rounds 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10 of rummaging through the icebox. Who can blame them?
That’s a rhetorical question; do not answer it.
But I digress.
Like an old paisley disco suit in someone’s closet, gelatin molds overstayed their welcome by a long shot; they were still roaming by the 1990s. When Good Housekeeping released their Illustrated Book of Desserts, there were two gelatin dishes: “Buttermilk Mold with Peach Sauce”, and “Grape Clusters in Shimmering Lemon-Cheese Gel”. That was 1997. Three years later, little ole me was born, and by then, the gelatin mold dish bonanza had been cancelled out long term.
So, why in the world would I want to subject myself to a forty-year burden? I’m not sure, but my suspicion is that I decided to leaf through some old cookbooks a few years back, when my age was within the single digits. Long story short, any cookbook between 1939 and 2000 should have an age restriction, because there are some atrocities in those pages. Take my word for it. Demons, shapeshifters, clowns, ghosts, aliens, tax lawyers, and the Braxton County Monster are definitely nightmare material, but they all can’t amount to a row of beans compared to waking up in the middle of the night screaming bloody murder because you had dreamt you were being chased by a walking Seafood Fish Mold. THAT was a rough night.

WARNING
Some of the recipes in this book are foul in every possible sense of the word. Like, so foul it makes you want to come up with a new word for “foul” referring to a Jell-O dish that somehow jiggled its way onto the plane of existence after sneaking off of the buffet table during the dinner service in the cheesiest circle of all hell. Some recipes are not actually half-bad, but that’s my opinion. You are more than welcome to leaf through this book and pick your poison in a literal matter of speaking. Go Wild. Go Bonkers. Boot your fills. Whatever lights your fire, broskito.
BUT, B-U-T BUT…
I will not be held responsible for any sort of damage that one (or more) of these dishes inflicts on your excretory system, or any other system for that matter. This also includes emotional damage, such as never being able to look at gelatin the same way, or any other things that doth reap havoc on thy noggin due to thou ingestion of these recipe.
OKAY?"
-The Mediocre Matron Book of Best-Loved Gelatin Dishes