Most people don't know that back in 1912,
Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England .
In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the
condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico ,
which was to be the next port of call for the great ship
after its stop in New York . This would have been the largest
single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico .
But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York .
The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.
The people of Mexico , who were crazy about mayonnaise,
and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss.
Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning,
which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning
occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course as Sinko de Mayo.

Little Johnnie's neighbour had a baby.
Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.
When mother and new baby came home from the
hospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby.
Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with
him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad
also told him that if he so much mentioned anything
about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears,
he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely.
When Johnnie looked in the crib he said,
"What a beautiful baby" The mother said, "Why, thank you,
Little Johnnie. Johnnie said, "He has beautiful little feet and
beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes.
Can he see?" "Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful;
the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision." "That's great", said
Little Johnnie,"coz he'd be ****ed if he needed glasses".

Trial and error in school

Your so welcome!

Thanks, just a little joke I came across.

Dr Phil proclaims, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started." It's as simple as that.

So,I looked around my house to see all the things I had started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's, a package of Oreos, the remainder of both Prozac and Valium prescriptions, the rest of the cheesecake, some saltines, and a box of chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel.

Have a great weekend!

Skip

Thats funny, you should be my age. All women seem to want is sex.

i'm not counting. all i know is i'm still single

I'm Skip

Love it dude!

vacaville but your not my type

Thanks so much for the advice.

Whats wrong with looking at naked women? I wont lie. I'm lookin every chance I get.

I've never heard this before.........

Is this a nice family?

Thank you!

Another newby here. I'm skip, how is everyone?

Thank you!

Hello Everyone! Just wanted to introduce myself. I'm Skip I'm looking to have fun in here and maybe meet a nice lady.