ABC's of ex girlfriends
A
is for Arteries.
You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for you you twit she was only after your money and could have given a **** about you.

B
is for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!

C
is for Call ya later.She won't. She never has before.

D
is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained?

E
is for Eating like a pig. Remember when you took her out and she said "I'm not hungry" so you figured you could take her to a nice place because you were able to afford a nice meal at this fine restaurant. Then she ate more than your Uncle Roy (you remember Uncle Roy the one with the mustard stains on everything). So you flip the bill and are broke for the next two weeks and she wonders why you were unable to call her that week and go see movies.

F
is for Friends. That is what she just wants to be. As if you can even stand to look at her.

G
is for Gun. And yes there is a waiting period.

H
is for Horny. Remember when she looked nice and even had a personality? Well, you figure it out.

I
stands for I still hate her. Odds are I always will, unless she calls me and offers me favors.

J
stands for Jim. This is her new boyfriend. Doesn't Jim have a nice car ? Doesn't Jim have a good job? Why does Jim want to date her? I think Jim could do much better. I hate Jim. Jim is my mortal enemy.

K
stands for Kill.

L
is for Love. It's a great euphoric feeling that exists between two people and is shared upon by both parties.

L
is also for Lunatic. Lunatics are crazy. Lunatics are the last people that actually believe in love.

M
stands for Mephistophiles. That is who she worked for.

N
stands for Necropheliac. She didn't move very much, did she?

O
is for On top. When on top she has another O word.

P
is for Pill. She said she was on it. She lied. She is now sueing you for a few hundred bucks a month.

Q
is for Quitter. She couldn't last.

R
is for Rich little *****. She bought my love but I paid for it.

S
stands for Suffer. That's what she made me do.

T
is for torture. Torture is what she did. She tortured you with the truth. She also tortured you with lies.

U
is for Understatement. Saying you hate that ***** is an understatement.

V
is for Voluptuous. That is the primamry reason you were dating her in the first place.

W
stands for Whine. She was a pro at this.

X
is for Xylophone. Because X is always for xylophone.

Y
stands for You suck! Remember when she yelled that at you.

Z
stands for ZIPPER. This is what you got your hair stuck in while trying to get dressed too quickly while she yelled "QUICK! They're home!"

.
stands for period. Which is a couple of weeks late, because she lied to you about taking what P stands for. It also means you won't get any for a week.

If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father... and your uncle..." If you ever said the phrase, "May the force be with y'all." Your Jedi robe is camouflage. You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light. At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored. You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok. You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard. The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters. Wookiees are offended by your B.O. You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial. You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling. You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light up. You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder. You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts. You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window. Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women. You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca. You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck. You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene. Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot."

Catching the roadrunner
Is like capturing love
Sure the ole coyote
Ends up falling off the cliff
Smashed by a giant rock
Blows himself up with tnt
Ran over by a truck
But no matter what bell he goes through
He never gives up on what he's after
So treat love like the coyote treats the roadrunner
If you have hope you will never will fail

I have faced death
From beating cancer
A rattlesnake stopped my heart for three minutes
Poison from a black widow couldnt beat me
Hell a big ole hammerhead shark didn't faze me
Know what did me in she broke my heart
The bad part i still love her

Here is a guide of for all you people who want to know animals.
1.BATS- THEY ARE WINGED BEAST FROM HELL YOU TRY HAVING ONE LAND ON YOU AND YOUR FRIEND TRYS TO SHOOT IT WITH A STUN GUN AND MISSES THE BAT AND NAILS YOU WHERE IT COUNTS.TO BEAT BATS YOU NEED OZZIE OSBURNE OR HOLY WATER NOT A DUMB REDNECK WITH A HOCKEY STICK
2.JELLYFISH- THEY ARE ALSO PURE EVIL AND WHY IS THAT LETS SAY SOMEONE IS FISHING OUT IN THE OCEAN AND IS WAIST DEEP AND WELL A JELLYSTING STINGS HIM WELL LETS SAY GRAPEFRUIT ARE NOT THAT BIG IN FLORIDA I WAS I MEAN HE WAS SWELLED UP FOR A WEEK.
3.SQURRIELS- YES ALL OF YOU THINK LOOK ITS A SQURRIEL THEY ARE SO CUTE AND LOVING HELL NO. EVER PLAY THE GAME NUTS BE GONE THATS WHERE YOU STUFF AS MANY SQURRIELS DOWN YOUR PANTS I WON THE BET BY STICKING 15 SQURRIELS DOWN MY PANTS THE ONLY PROBLEM ONE TRIED TO BITE A WALNUT AND IT DIDNT FALL FROM A TREE.
4.SKUNKS- OK LOOK BEFORE YOU PICK UP OK IT WAS DARK AND I THOUGHT THE SKUNK WAS MY FRIENDS CAT BUT IT WAS A BABY SKUNK AND WELL A SPRAY FROM ITS BUTT MADE ME TAKE A MIDNITE TOMATO BATH IN MY FRIENDS BACK YARD
5.COWS AKA BULL- OK I WAS COWTIPPING ONCE AND I TRIED TO TIP A COW BUT I MEAN BUTT I PUSHED INTO A BULL AND HE DIDNT LIKE BEING WOKE UP SO HE CHASES ME AND WELL MEAN HORNS MEAN MY *** ITS A BIRD ITS A PLANE ITS SUPER ROB THAT BULL SENT HE FLYING AND WELL I LAND *** FIRST INTO CATCUS LOL.
6.GOATS- OK MY BUDDYS PLAYED A PRANK ON ME AND WELL THEY STRIPPED ME NAKED COVERED ME IN WHIPPED CREAM AND WELL AS I WAS OUT THERE PASSED OUT I WAS HAVING A GREAT DREAM AND WAKE TO A BIT AND I WAKE UP AND I SEE ALL AROUND ME GOATS ABOUT 25 AND I PUSH THE LEADER AND THE OTHERS DIDNT LIKE THAT AT ALL AND STARTED TO CHASE ME AND WELL HAVE YOU EVER SAW INDIANA JONES WHERE THE NAKED INDIANS CHASE HIM TO THE PLANE WELL THATS ME ONLY GOATS ARE CHASING ME AND I WAS TRYING TO CATCH A TRUCK. I ENDED UP HITCH HIKING BACK WEARING ONLY A EMPTY BEER BOX
7.BABOON- THEM THINGS ARE FUGLY AND NEVER GET CHASED BY A MEAN FEMALE ONE THEY ARE SCARY LIKE A HUMAN WOMAN ON THE WORST PMS TRIP EVER. LIKE I SAID THE LAST TIME A SHORT HAIRY THING WITH A HUGE *** WAS AT MY LAST FAMILY REUNION.
8.CHICKENS-AGAIN MY FRIENDS THOUGHT IT BE FUNNY TO STRIP ME NAKED COVER ME IN BIRD SEED AND TOSS ME INTO A CHICKEN BARN HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CHASED BY 500 CHICKENS 1000 BEADY EYES OF DEATH AND BEAKS PECKING YOU AND PECKING YOU AND WELL MY BARE *** AND OTHER PARTS WERE SORE FOR WEEKS.
9.BOAR- ITS NOT MISSY PIGGY OR PORKY PIG BUT ONE TIME HUNTING BOAR MY BUDDYS SWITCHED MY SHELLS WITH BLANKS AND WELL WHEN I FIRED I WAS SURPISED AND SO WAS THE BOAR AND WELL THAT PIG WAS MAD AND CHASED ME A HALF A MILE INTIL I CLIMBED A TREE AND WAS STUCK THERE FOR 6 HOURS WAITING FOR MY FRIENDS TO HELP ME

She is my assasin
Yet she dont use
A guns deadly bullets
A blade from a knife
Or the sting from poison
What do you ask is her best weapon
To kill my heart
She uses her words
I dont love you

or many months i feel like i been pulled in different directions
3 women have come into my life
one woman a sweet kind stubborrn girl at first said she was taken by a lil trooper 10000 miles away but he already had a gf i tried to tell her she never listened she hurt me alot one week she likes me the next hates me i text her she cusses me out then wants to use me for brass pole thats all i have to say about her
next came a beautiful brunette that reminds me to much like myself she has rage issues,cusses like a salior and very funny she had to leave but she never said goodbye it still hurts not knowing why and like woman one she said i was taken well 98% taken p.s. a lil bird said she wants LALALALALA 20 times a day what these women think im a merry go around but i wouldnt complain being a brass pole or doing LALALALALAL 20 times a day
woman 3 well dont really know shes cute lil blonde cant saY how she feels said it will be hard to gain her trust but shes hiding her real feelings i can tell i just wish she open up hell wish they 3 of them would
each of them always get my friend in the middle i hate that why cant these women grow up and just tell me what they want
so im stepping up we are playing make a deal the first one of the 3 to talk and say what they want will get me and last i know all 3 have been hurt by ex bfs i hate each one of those boys and all 3 know i wouldnt hurt any of them all i ever did was pour my heart out to them just to see them ignore me just remember im the one not losing the 3 women are because 1 of them could have me all for themselfs

Tears fell from my heart,when you told me good-bye.You had once told me you loved me,now I sit here, wanting to die.My heart cries and achesbegging me to take the hurt away.To stop its suffering,to stop the tears from falling.Knowing that I cannot stop the pain,the suffering that you caused.I hope your happy.I hope you can see what pain and heartache you've caused.My heart weeps for you,for the love it had gotten so addicted too.So I grant my hearts wish;the wish of making the pain end.Taking a knife, and plunging it deep in my weeping heart.Now red comes out of my heart.The red tears of a dying, broken heart.

we are like two beasts
I bite your ear and your neck
Your claw my chest and grab me below
Under the sheets we fullifill are pleasures
you growl at me and lash at me
I'm overtaken by my love and lust for you
Pulled hair scratched up bodys
Are bodys have become as one
I don't want this nite to end
Because we are finally together
I'm overtaken by my love and lust for you

is she sad becasue shes a cleveland brown fan i feel the same

you think i could find love i written close to 800 poems about it but cant catch the porn thing was only a joke what im after is not her mind or her body

i feel sorry for andrew luck the dolphins or colts will pick him p.s. cool looking dog you have

Why cant i find love i mean
Hell i have written hundreds of poems about it
I look kinda good not brad pitt good more like funny looking like beavis good
And me naked is good from a distance
Well with sex im not porn star great more like a little kid playing with legos give me time and u will see something amazing

after beating alabama will lsu be in the title game if so againist who?

Women can make a man do most anything
Make him drink away his pain
From the heartache she has caused him
Make him sit in the dark to hide from everyone
Because his eyes are filled with tears
... From her breaking his heart
Yet no amount of pain tears and agony
Can change who has are hearts

im never lucky

at least i catch the ball

they want boise state to move to the big east for football only
you think its a good or bad idea?
me i think its dumb because boise is way out west and they should jion pac 12

why would anyone spend the time to create a fake page

alabama 24 lsu 17