I wouldn't really say it's lame. It has a lot of good points - be happy with yourself, be confident, have an open attitude, don't act like a desperate loser, establish rapport before asking for a number, etc...

It kind of crosses the line from being just good advice though when it seems to portray an end goal of seducing someone with a plan.

Do people really consider this stuff secret? Not knocking it, but it's just kind of common sense isn't it?

Hey you never know what tomorrow might bring with her. Time and distance can change people's feelings.

But take care of yourself and respect yourself. You deserve someone that will love you back like you love them. Put your time and energy into finding that one person and don't get stuck on someone that doesn't return your feelings.

There's very few feelings as bad as loving someone that doesn't love you back the same. Don't do that to yourself.

Time to man up and be honest with yourself and her. Notice the being honest with yourself part.


Decide:

Be a friend with no expectations.

Or

Move on and find someone that will love you back.


You, like a lot of guys that find themselves in the same situation, are just making a prison for yourself by saying you want to be friends AND you want to be more than a friend.

Like lily says - give her the cold shoulder. That may be the best thing for yourself and her... and it leaves a small chance she'll see what she's missing.

Hey Amberdee - do you mean 'trapped with no way out' in a physically trapped way? Like when in the middle of large crowd of people or in a confined space?

The Freshmen by the Verve Pipe. Damn, that song always gives me chills.

I think I'd ask myself if that trust issue is going to be a problem again. Especially considering that you are both separated by living in different places now.

But you didn't specifically state why your ex is an ex. Whatever the reason that she is - has that reason changed or are you just missing her?

Good luck no matter what you decide though!

Haha.

I'm just hoping I get put in charge of the new USARNORTH Ministry of Dating Allocation. Oh crap! Wasn't supposed to mention that.

Those Russian Intelligence Analyst are on the ball. Nothing gets past them...

Just curious, when you talked to her on the phone that afternoon after she went home, did something else happen or come up in that specific conversation? And how did you know she overdosed on some pills? Did she tell you that or did you find out after she ended up in the hospital?

Didn't they give you anything for pain Lovelyer? Last time I got in an accident I found the pain-killers kept me pretty amused.

Denial more likely...

I don't know how you can say that ajhagena - you seem pretty traumatized (emotionally scarred even) from the emotional abuse you've suffered from garbage cans.

Ouch. Sorry to hear that.



You'll fit right in here.

I'm a bit slow tonight.

Just been a long time since I've seen either movie... but agreed: Titanic was more for the fairer gender. Although I admit I watched some of it on TV tonight when it was on.

Right, that was the only clue! Guesses it matches up time-wise to when HIV/AIDS started to become a problem though from the free-love practices of the time. They just didn't know what it was at that time - so that makes sense.

Hey what was she dying of? Was that ever made clear? I was guessing she had HIV (no joke).

To clarify, I am asking about Jenny. Sorry it's off-topic.

Hooah!

Are those your paintings on your profile fishcat?

Sheesh, I'm not sure what I want right now (going through the whole break-up recovery thing). I'm enjoying being single, but I meet such great people, it's tempting to want to date again.

I think I'm just waiting for something special that I can't resist - but I'm in no rush and have no expectations. Just want to get to know some new people and enjoy that for what it is.

I think you have it right creationsfire, exactly my thoughts - especially with the comparison to ADD and how over-diagnosed that was. The fear is that BPD is the next catch-all diagnosis like ADD was for kids. But in any case, with that great of an increase of diagnosis... it's something everyone should consider and be aware of that's affected by it.

Some clinicians even consider PTSD to not just be commonly comorbid with BPD - but to actually be a specific form of BPD. Interestingly enough.

Borderline PD, PTSD, Bipolar PD... all three are so similiar and all three seem to be taking turns as the 'flavor of the month' diagnosis by clinicians. That's the problem with similiar disorders - so difficult to differentiate form each other.

But I think you are right, BPD might just be a simple replacement 'catch-all' diagnosis now that ADD has fallen out of favor.