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Community > Posts By > Cammi Ronni
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Pillows. Soft, fluffy pillows. They are always a comfortable topic. And they are fun, too. You can throw them at your partner/friend/spouse/lover/kids. If you do it just right, you can whomp a big busty blonde in skimpy nightwear and *poof* ... big cloud of feathers. In slow motion. Hey, it can happen, I've seen it in plenty of teen angst movies. And comfortable. Don't forget that, too. At night, you can lay your head on one and it's almost like laying your head on a cloud. Yes. Your own little cloud carrying you off to dreamland. (insert lullabye music) Ok, you can wake up now. Well, there's your comfortable topic. Next? that made me lol, ok i will totally bring that up nest chat session :) just for fun that went over very well haha |
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OK peoples I want some help here, I am wondering what topics are things that shouldnt be mentioned until theres a good flow going? U should not need help with all this kinda thing as u have to be yourself and I cannot help u do that ******************************************************************* What things should be left best to just talk about in person? You care thinking about this so just make a space in your brain to put the answers as they occur to you as you talk with someone ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ What things if mentioned or asked about puts up red flags? ask. ask. ask. I've seen too many good starts go up in smoke because of assumptions and miscalculations !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have had some conversations with random people and the conversation is good until I get the to the one word response phase and it feels like I am the only one willing to add to the conversation... maybe i have asked something to personal, or the person is shy? Nah- prolly just tired of the chat window - or busy - move on - but if it's someone u really like - schedule another chat date or even a phone date @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@222 I know jokes are a good why to get out of that bubble maybe there are other ways too?. ask them if another time might be better ############################################################################ I have lost my discomfort with any and all topics and can pretty much talk about anything and I am armed with over a million things that I wanna know about the person I get interested in. I dont wanna seem to pushy or like im prying for information like some slueth from another country looking for war secrets, nor do i wanna come across like im desperate for thier attentions or affections. I have found I have grown more comfortable with starting conversations. I want feed back esspecially since its an online conversation, i hope that makes sense? You have to take it as you find it - u cannot make the women u chat with conform to your wants - find one who just does...and don;t let her get away - even if she isn't perfect in all ways - if you have a convo connection that is such a great start %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% Any suggestions on things i should try and get to know?, what topics seem to get more of a discussion that lets you get a better feel for the person, or something that just gets a person talking when it seems the conversation has died but still liking the person? learn to take your cues from the person u are talking to, and if you have a reason to talk or message - like elaborating a forum thread - even better become a good listener good luck! thanks very informative and great input I will try and implement it in the future |
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Actually, I kinda got depressed thinking of how many times I have humped my pillows. Though my pillows still tell me "I love you" oh i thought i was the only one but mine meow i love you o.0 |
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Pillows. Soft, fluffy pillows. They are always a comfortable topic. And they are fun, too. You can throw them at your partner/friend/spouse/lover/kids. If you do it just right, you can whomp a big busty blonde in skimpy nightwear and *poof* ... big cloud of feathers. In slow motion. Hey, it can happen, I've seen it in plenty of teen angst movies. And comfortable. Don't forget that, too. At night, you can lay your head on one and it's almost like laying your head on a cloud. Yes. Your own little cloud carrying you off to dreamland. (insert lullabye music) Ok, you can wake up now. Well, there's your comfortable topic. Next? that made me lol, ok i will totally bring that up nest chat session :) just for fun |
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Hey man,,to be very REAL here with ya,,,its really ALL about the reasons for the split,,,and the KIND of people they BOTH ARE? And ALL the posts have their own meanings to each one of us reading it. Yours is one of the many topics we go through and or have-had,,so its all good and minds are read through their words on it... 95 percent of the ladies I have ever dated,,STILL remain my today FRIENDS through life...even after they have married,,,wink. or I become involved in my own.....Thats what GOOD TRY'S AT IT do for the ones really trying to find a sincere partner to be with.... well as it was something that i have never tried until i heard about others views on it...it didnt work for me...its almost like being friends with someone after saying you like them or love them and expecting nothing to change...but only taking it further than that more than once...I dont believe both parties leave unscathed just if its not gunna work it wont work, move on, make new adventures. I think it works best for me that way, but i really think it would depend on the way the person behaves toward me if im comfortable with maintaining a friendship or will give that trust up again. Cant have friendship with people you cant trust, turning off the comfort zone from a relationship is harder then losing trust in a stranger... |
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Dude...topics are a crapshoot.... I have seen plenty of them that should have gone on forever but, nose dived immediatly. I have seen crap ones roll on endlessly. Step up to the plate....put yo stuff in everyones faces and take the chance.....there are plenty of regulars who just screw the pooch with every attempt. Wing it out there and hope for the best cause there is no magic phrase that will ensure the thread will fly. So what if a topic flounders? Nothing ventured...nothing gained. haha i like that way of putting things so all or none kinda thing? |
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Topic:
People Who Contact Me....
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gotchya like an attention grabber kinda thing
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OMG!....I was in in the public restroom - I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other stall: "Hi, how are you?" ..wierd but had to say something back or its rude..
Me: embarrassed, "Doin' fine!" Stall: "So what are you up to?" Me: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here." Stall: "Can I come over?" Me: (attitude) "No, I'm a little busy right now!!" Stall: "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions! |
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if you get to the one word response phase, and it lasts more than just a couple messages, move on! I usually feel bad telling someone "i just dont want to talk to you" and thats when i slip into one word responses... I have tried with success on one occasion "I want to continue talking, but I do not know how to respond to that." I will remember to move on from those that keep up with it afterwards though now |
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Yeah I know over all to be myself. the person I am has changed alot within these last few years because i have grown within myself, by implimenting others perspectives into my own ways of thinking and concidering how things i say and do are percieved by others and how it may not show who i really am or show too much. learning dos and donts that have worked or been experienced by others has led things to my favor into accomplishing my goals.
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I try and talk about as much as I can before making assumptions but sometimes I forget that not everyone views the world like I do and arent thinking what I believe they are when I am saying things...definitely fail on the mind reader test lol, I like all of your points of view it gives me plenty to work with and things to talk about with up coming relationships or even current friends what i should learn about and all taht thanks keep em coming :)
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Edited by
Cammi Ronni
on
Mon 08/22/11 03:20 PM
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Just be yourself and talk about whatever you feel is right. If the other person gets offended by anything they probably aren't the right person for you. Dont expect everyone to be able to hold a decent conversation with you, because many people aren't capable of it. If your only getting one word replies just move on. I try to remember that =I know some peopel dont have very advance conversational skills eg. "how are you?" answers "good". but no response or inquiry. Mind that I usually ask this from friends and such. online dating convos are more a continuation left off from previous conversations after going to bed for the night. You're over thinking this way too much. If you're chatting with someone new on here, read their profile first. Comment on something that interests you. Otherwise, just talk about what you're comfortable talking about and see how it goes. Im not meaning to over think it or make it appear that way, i just want opions from those who have experienced the same issues and in what ways these things were worked through. I am comfortable with all topics and am not sure how to find out the boundries without watching for an expression or body language. Online makes it a lil more complicated that way. I got an IM from a new person here last night, and she asked me what I wanted to know about her. I told her, "Whatever you want to tell me, I'm not here to interrogate you." She seemed a little surprised at first, as if she had been expecting a standardized checklist of questions, but after that she just started telling me about her life, her work, etc. I don't think there has to be a pre-made template for this sort of thing. People have their own timetables for when they want to open up about this or that or whatever. It's not my job to extract information. But I'm a good listener, and I think that's a first step. Thanks! thats actually pretty good I'll try to remember to keep that in mind. Some of us yack so much we wouldn't know a lull in the conversation if the earth stopped spinning as the poles realigned. If you see someone interesting, and want to get some idea of who they are, you can go back and look at everything they have ever written. Click on "Posts"# beneath their forum picture. It can be a real eye-opener. As for thread suggestions, the weirder the better, everything else has been done to death :-) Pose any unique angle on anything interesting to you. Threads aimed solely at getting attention usually get..mixed attention. As for taboo conversation subjects, I would avoid being overly affectionate just out of the gate. She wants your interest, not necessarily your paws. I understand that works on this site but not all of dating sites work quite like this one. would topic headlines for a first message work for your "wierder the better" view? I like threads that give me a look in to how people percieve things the mixed attention of agreed or disagreed. its interesting as I like to learn new ways to see the world. what are taboo subjects? I dont really know how affection works through messaging can you give me a few examples? |
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Topic:
People Who Contact Me....
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ah alright all good reasons, just placing my opinion from what you mentioned on the begining of the thread.
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Topic:
People Who Contact Me....
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This is about the people who contact me, which you already know if you read the aforementioned title as mentioned above. OK, here's the thing -- I get a fair amount of people contacting me on here, via e-mail, IM, nudges, whatever. A certain percentage of these are scammers, and (thanks to Mark and Charles and their crew) I can usually get them nuked within 45 seconds. As for the ones who are not (or who cannot definitively be proven to be) scammers, I notice a disconcerting sameness in them. Many of the messages are extremely brief (I had one this morning that said "Can I know u?"), poorly written, completely devoid of any signs of useful information or a functioning brain stem, and from people who are very very far away. I rarely hear from anyone who actually has anything to say, or the literacy skills to say it. And this puzzles me, because nowhere in my profile (I think -- I mean, the damn thing is so long I rarely go in there myself anymore) does it say "Please contact me if your writing is so garbled and incomprehensible that it will give me a massive headache." Statistically, it seems to me that the odds SHOULD be that at least one genuine prospect should have contacted me by now, seeing that I've been here 4 1/2 years. Math was never my best subject, though, so I may not know what I'm talking about. It would certainly not be the first time. And there are many locals on this site; I see them floating through "People You Might Be Interested In" every day. When I look at their profiles, though, it always says "Last Seen Shortly After The Civil War" or something along those lines. I just don't understand what makes me attractive to someone whose most creative act in life was opening a bag of Ruffles Potato Chips. George Costanza said it best: "When I like them, they don't like me...and when they like me, I don't like them." OMG, I'm George Costanza.... Maybe you are giving away too much on your proifle and those who have good conversational skills have found red flags in how much you are putting out.those who dont read your profile because of its length dont really know what way you like to communicate and are more then likely opening or breaking the ice in a way that seems to work for them more often than not? If i find a profile thats super long I will skim through it to find things to talk about but i will not remember it all because the conversation may not start or continue long.... generally i welcome any and all messages because at least theres an interest shown and a first move was not made by me for once not matter the opening phrase but since you have been on here quite a while you may have become picky to what you want from a stranger and have put many standards and arent bending enough... if you ignore every attempt at communication be it a short message or a long one you will be talking to no one. You really cant base a person on a short hello, or a 1000 page novel until you find out through actual experience with the person who they are...online you can be anyone and its only a starting point..any how that my opinion on it...good luck on your search Well, the original idea was that I thought the profile could be used to weed out the people I wasn't interested in. Prior to my creating the 1400-page-long monstrosity, I was only being contacted by 48-year-old women with 3 kids who wanted it clearly understood that THEY ARE MY WORLD!!!!! OK, I get it. But still. I really wasn't looking for those kinds of offers (hey, I'll be friends with just about anyone, but dating is another matter entirely), so I thought I'd make sure that the profile spelled out, in very clear terms, what I was looking for, and what I was NOT looking for. Admittedly, it hasn't really worked. Now, instead of being contacted by 48-year-old single/divorced mothers who want to date me, I'm getting contacted by 48-year-old single/divorced mothers who want to yell at me because I don't want to date them. Is this an improvement? I don't know. The point is probably moot. I am forced to conclude that either a.) all women are 48 years old with 3 kids, and/or b.) my profile is invisible to any who are not. Either way, I'm basically screwed. I believe there is the option of choosing who cannot message you.. finding out all the things you dont want in your essay/boigraphy about you is something that would come through normal conversation and too much will negate from those willing to compromise on their wants and desires, is everything on there something you will not bend on does it say so for everything you placed? i gave it a speed read and didnt get more than half way done... I am not judge nor questioning how many messages you will or do get. but that amount of information and conversation with yourself takes away from someone trying to come up with things to find our on their own...Im no writer and know I can work on my profile but i just believe a lil mystery piques intersts. the desire to find out an answer brings forth those who are willing to ask qustions of you. as soon as you get past introductions and find interest within a conversation stand point the do and dont are things to ask about turn ons turn offs life perspectives and perceptions all things that can be done in conversations...it almost seems like you want someone to know you from the get go and not need to find anything out about you by talking.. i did the same with putting all what i want and dont want but found i got less with more and learned i get more with less and that there has to be a balance being more direct in what I want with fewer words with those who dont havew the time to read every profile and not explaining enough to those who want more to make a first step |
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Topic:
People Who Contact Me....
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This is about the people who contact me, which you already know if you read the aforementioned title as mentioned above. OK, here's the thing -- I get a fair amount of people contacting me on here, via e-mail, IM, nudges, whatever. A certain percentage of these are scammers, and (thanks to Mark and Charles and their crew) I can usually get them nuked within 45 seconds. As for the ones who are not (or who cannot definitively be proven to be) scammers, I notice a disconcerting sameness in them. Many of the messages are extremely brief (I had one this morning that said "Can I know u?"), poorly written, completely devoid of any signs of useful information or a functioning brain stem, and from people who are very very far away. I rarely hear from anyone who actually has anything to say, or the literacy skills to say it. And this puzzles me, because nowhere in my profile (I think -- I mean, the damn thing is so long I rarely go in there myself anymore) does it say "Please contact me if your writing is so garbled and incomprehensible that it will give me a massive headache." Statistically, it seems to me that the odds SHOULD be that at least one genuine prospect should have contacted me by now, seeing that I've been here 4 1/2 years. Math was never my best subject, though, so I may not know what I'm talking about. It would certainly not be the first time. And there are many locals on this site; I see them floating through "People You Might Be Interested In" every day. When I look at their profiles, though, it always says "Last Seen Shortly After The Civil War" or something along those lines. I just don't understand what makes me attractive to someone whose most creative act in life was opening a bag of Ruffles Potato Chips. George Costanza said it best: "When I like them, they don't like me...and when they like me, I don't like them." OMG, I'm George Costanza.... Maybe you are giving away too much on your proifle and those who have good conversational skills have found red flags in how much you are putting out.those who dont read your profile because of its length dont really know what way you like to communicate and are more then likely opening or breaking the ice in a way that seems to work for them more often than not? If i find a profile thats super long I will skim through it to find things to talk about but i will not remember it all because the conversation may not start or continue long.... generally i welcome any and all messages because at least theres an interest shown and a first move was not made by me for once not matter the opening phrase but since you have been on here quite a while you may have become picky to what you want from a stranger and have put many standards and arent bending enough... if you ignore every attempt at communication be it a short message or a long one you will be talking to no one. You really cant base a person on a short hello, or a 1000 page novel until you find out through actual experience with the person who they are...online you can be anyone and its only a starting point..any how that my opinion on it...good luck on your search |
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Topic:
i need serious relationship
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um. why do you NEED a serious relationship?
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Edited by
Cammi Ronni
on
Mon 08/22/11 12:00 PM
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OK peoples I want some help here, I am wondering what topics are things that shouldnt be mentioned until theres a good flow going?
What things should be left best to just talk about in person? What things if mentioned or asked about puts up red flags? I have had some conversations with random people and the conversation is good until I get the to the one word response phase and it feels like I am the only one willing to add to the conversation... maybe i have asked something to personal, or the person is shy? I know jokes are a good why to get out of that bubble maybe there are other ways too?. I have lost my discomfort with any and all topics and can pretty much talk about anything and I am armed with over a million things that I wanna know about the person I get interested in. I dont wanna seem to pushy or like im prying for information like some slueth from another country looking for war secrets, nor do i wanna come across like im desperate for thier attentions or affections. I have found I have grown more comfortable with starting conversations. I want feed back esspecially since its an online conversation, i hope that makes sense? Any suggestions on things i should try and get to know?, what topics seem to get more of a discussion that lets you get a better feel for the person, or something that just gets a person talking when it seems the conversation has died but still liking the person? |
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Just putting myself on the market here :).. I have squeezed your melons. And tapped your core. You ripe :-) Welcome, from the Oregon coast :-) lmfao that made me laugh out lol |
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 hi
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After being in a relationship for awhile sometimes it ends and the one ending it just wants to be friends. Is this something that always happens or is it unusual? Do relationships end with no friendship remaining at all? Does anyone have any advice or information to shed some light on this topic? just a cop out, so someone doesn't go all nuts on the other...i don't see the need to be friends when it is over  same
except in passing - civil as for remaining friends, think of how that is going to be perceived by potential future partners... If someone was going to be jealous of me being friends with an ex, I'd have to see how that goes. Someone telling me that I am not allowed to see certain people,such as an ex, is a red flag to me. If that was the case, the jealousy would probably get in the way. and to me that kind of involvement would be a red flag I don't think jealousy is the concern so much as reality & respect and "his" desire to direct energies toward the future, but definitely signs that a former relationship is not fully in the past is a red flag to me but I agree - we cannot tell each other who to associate with - just like we can't tell each other how to spend our money or what movies to rent I would look for pre-existing compatibility on the subject - a man who really had nothing substantial happening with exes already & who wants to put his relationship with me first for his own reasons (once things get to that point)- I want to be a girlfriend, not a mother or watchdog  < won't do that
Ok well that also a different way of looking at it to...hmm so many views that are all so unique ok on this part, What kind of things would rise suspicions that it is not just friend ship with an ex, and how can jealousy be dealt with in a manner that would give both parties satisfaction with out being a watchdog or too passive on it? |
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