A man walks into the bar and tells the bar keep, "Line me up a dozen
shots of the strongest tequila you have".
The bartender starts lining up the drinks as the man starts to down them
one right after the other.
" Wow buddy, what the hell are you celebrating, drinking so much like
that?"
Barely stopping the man mutters, "First blowjob"...
The bartender says, " Hell man, that is something to celebrate, here let
me pour you one on the house".
The man say's " No thanks...if the first 12 dont get rid of the tase
that last one sure wont help."

Glad to help...lol

There were 3 couples wanting to join a popular church in town. The
preacher told each of them that in order to join, they had to refrain
from church for 3 weeks.
After 3 weeks went by, the 1st couple came in. The pracher asked them
"how did it go?"
The man answered "No problem...the 1st week was easy...the 2nd week
was over before we knew it and heck, at the end of the 3rd week the wife
had to remind me it was over". "Welcome to our church" said the
preacher.
The 2nd couple comes in and the preachers asked them how it went.
"Well the 1st week wasnt too bad" said the guy. " the 2nd week though
was a little rough, and by the end of the 3rd week I was pulling the
hair out of my head...but we made it" The preacher welcomed them also.
The 3rd couple comes in and before the preacher can ask the man says
" We tried really hard" and then hangs his head.
The preacher says "So what went wrong?" " Well, the 1st week was a
bitch....the 2nd week was so bad even the dog was backing out of the
room...and just about the end of the 3rd week, I thought we had made
it...but the wife dropped a bar of soap on the floor, bent over to pick
it up in this short mini skirt she was wearing, and sorry Father...I
just had to give it to her right then and there..."
"Well I'm sorry" says the preacher..." but we cant let you into our
church...."
"Thats ok Father..." says the man....
"THEY WONT LET US INTO WALMART ANYMORE EITHER".

It's no chinch if you have both either bud...lmao

I'm from Milwaukee...is that close enough?

I've always wondered, what came first the chicken or the
egg...personally I think it was the rooster, then he put his pants back
on and went home...