Tootsie Farkle Pants

MY NEW NAME IS IN THE SUBJECT Line..... DON'T LAUGH UNTIL YOU FIND OUT WHAT YOUR NEW NAME IS

We all need a little stress-reliever! This only takes a minute.

Please don’t be a bore & ruin it. Send it on to everyone you know including the person that sent it to you.

Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day. If we are honest, we have a lot more stressful days than not.

Here is your dose of humor...

A. Follow the instructions to find your new
Name.

B. Once you have your new name, put it in the
subject box and forward it to friends and
family & co-worker s.

Don't forget to forward it back to the person who sent it to you
so they know you participated.

And don't go all adult - a senior manager is now known far & wide as Dorky Gizzardsniffer!

The following is excerpted from a children's book, Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants, by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...

So:-

1. Use the third letter of your first name to
determine your New first name:

a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
I = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloopy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dink y
z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barffy
g = lizard
h = waffle
I = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = pickle
w = Hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdle

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
I = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = doodle
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice

I agree u look younger....

Hello.... nice pict of u...

very nice profile.... good luck...

Can always count on u 4 some gr8 advice

What is that about

I can't believe Kansas won!!!!! I really thought NC was gonna win it all.... oh well....

From the news reports we are hearing here.... it should be $4 something a gallon come summer

time to get a bike

NY $3.49

There were 80 year olds and they were sharing their problems

The first one said "I got a big problem, I cant piss"

The others agreed that this was bad but the second one said "I got a bigger problem, I cant take a ****"

The others agreed that this was a bigger problem and then the third one said

"I've got the biggest problem, I piss every morning at 6:30am and I take a **** at 6:45am"

The others ask whats the problem?

The third ones says "I don't get up until 7am"

I agree.....

I KNOW... BUT AT THE SAME TIME THIS IS DEEPER THAN POETRY... SORRY

I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
so I had a sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
that I didn't drink and drive,
though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right.
The party finally ended,
and the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece.
I never knew what was coming, Mom,
something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
the kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.

My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
this girl is going to die.

I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high.
Because he chose to drink and drive,
now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
like a hundred stabbing knives.

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven,
put ' Mommy's Girl' on my grave.

Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter,
Mom I'm getting re a lly scared
These are my final moments,
and I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, 'I love you, Mom!'
So I love you and good-bye.

MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers) IS HOPING TO GET 5,000
SIGNATURES ON THIS, THEN PASS IT ON TO SIGN.

When this petition has reached 5,000, please return i t to:

MADD
P.O. Box 54168 8
Dallas , TX 75354-1688
1-800-GET-MADD (1-800-438-6233)

If you receive this petition and do nothing but delete it, your
selfishness
kno ws no bounds. Signing is such a small effort to make. Afte r
you
have
read the poem, please add your name at the bottom. And never
forget,
DON'T
EVER DRINK AND DRIVE, not even once, thinking that it won't
matter. IT
DEFINITELY WILL MATTER!!!

How to set it up:
* Click on Forward
* SIGN YOUR NAME AT THE BOTTOM.
* Then send it to everyone you know

A Chinese woman had two large pots,

each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck.

One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.

At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.

But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own
imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been
made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream.




'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to
your house.'

The old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?'


'That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you
water them.'

'For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful
flowers to decorate the table.

Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.'

Each of us has our
own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our
lives together so very interesting and rewarding.

You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

SO,
to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the
flowers on your side of the path!

SO TRUE!!!!!!!

OK profile... but one question.... What is up with the headline?

But I do agree with removing the first picture... good luck.....

I can't believe G-Town lost... I thought they would make to the final four....

But I am glad they are out....

loved and lost RATHER than never to have loved at all...IMO