I've been somehow "orbiting" around this topic for a few days, feeling like I wanted to say something, but didn't really know what.

It's neither that I don't believe in love (because I do), nor that I've never been in love (because I have).

The way I see it, it's a question of potential energy.

People "in the know" usually speak about "falling in love", and I find it an appropriate metaphor because in order to be able to *fall*, you first have to be in some kind of high place - then, gravity will do its job of converting potential energy into kinetic energy.

As for me, I fell in love once, hit the ground, and then stayed on the ground. There can be no more "falling" for me because I don't have any potential energy at the moment.



The sad part about being on the ground and not knowing how to reach a higher place is that I now know who I am much better than I did in the past. Usually people would suggest me to cheer up, go out and all that sort of things, and for a while I would believe them, I would try, and I would fail - but the brief hope of believing to be somebody else would allow me to climb onto the ledge and jump (and crash).

Knowing who I am makes things a lot more difficult, because I know I want to love someone without falling. I guess I should keep my eyes open for partners who are "fallen" like me, but telling the sane from the psychopaths is pretty hard work.

You clearly never met a guy like me (or ever noticed he was interested).

I can endure an awful lot of things, so smoke is no big deal.

But.

I'm ok with smoke as long as she's ok seeing me turn into a monster: I'm allergic to smoke (and to air pollution) and my face turns red almost instantly in the presence of cigarette smoke in enclosed spaces. Even happens outside if I'm close.

That's why I don't usually date smokers a second time.

Looks come first, but for me it's just a question of getting used to a new face: I don't have any aesthetical mold I want women to fit, luckily for both.

I do have, though, pretty tight standards about intellectual depth: "outgoing, easy-going and fun-loving" just won't cut it. They're nice extras (in small doses) but what I really want is depth and passion.

I'm a honest person and I offer both depth and passion about the things I care for - my passion for another individual is hard to earn, but once earned it's there to stay.

I guess IPv6 is enabled by default because it's the future and Ubuntu might as well be ready for it - just like both Windows and Mac OS are.

By the way, I'm currently using it and it's cool being able to access all my home computers from everywhere even if they're behind a router: with IPv4 it's much harder (and of course more secure, but when you *do* need remote access it's a major PITA).

Besides, 60 ms ping time doesn't seem that bad to me.

Let me stand as the introverts' advocate here (I just so love the lost causes):

introversion is not equal to shyness.

Granted, shy people are more frequent among introverts, and introverts are a mostly misunderstood minority (many introverts even mistake themselves as shy), but truth be told, all combinations are possible.

There are shy extroverts (if you think hard enough, I'd bet you'd be able to find an acquaintance who's easy going yet scared to reveal their feelings), and there are bold introverts - yours truly being one of them when he cares enough.

I'm stressing the point because I used to be shy because most people would read my introversion as shyness and I'd trust their judgment... but now I know better.

We introverts are at a disadvantage in a world tailored for extroverts, but we do have our strengths stemming from our very nature: we think deep, we're precise, we're good listeners (which means we get in contact with a lot of information) and we're usually not eager for power or attention - all of this makes us good for society as a whole.

Still sure you hate being an introvert? What's not great about who we are?

Being funny is the answer for people who like "funny". Not all do, especially when "funny" equals "repeating the same old stupid jokes over and over".

For me it's just about the opposite: in the "physical world" I have a real hard time revealing myself.

2 days in M2, on the other hand, and I've already made a special friendship.

I guess I have a handicap in the "physical world" though: being an Italian and living in Italy, I'm pretty much limited to speaking Italian... thus, no Italian woman can know how sexy I am when I speak English.

I haven't been doing it lately because Gnome and Metacity fit my needs nicely, but it should still be possible, even on different levels. You could for example start a new session with just the window manager and no desktop environment (or even without any window manager at all and start one later manually). I think all you have to do is install the packages, and then you should be able to choose which window manager to start at the login screen. Or you could do all sorts of manual tweaking as well: in the good old days I would not even start the GUI on boot, and launch it later manually if I'd needed it. Those times are long gone though, and I got lazy.

... and runs you over.

For what it's worth, a friend of mine who knows her ropes used to say: "it's always the best ones who never get laid."

I think she's right, as I know a thing or two about being one of the best ones.

And be a a hypocrite and a moron instead? Puh-leeze.

You can't change your introverted nature no matter how hard you try (or if you try, good luck with that), so

- first, don't hate it
- second, learn to love it.


I don't mean to be harsh, I'm just speaking out my mind and being sincere - as you may have read elsewhere, I'm an introvert myself, and a hardcore one at that. It's hard at times, but when people appreciate me, they usually appreciate me for who I am and not for who I pretend to be.

... except Linux.

Of course new programs won't run on older versions of the operating system, but since all updates are always free, that's really not a big issue.

As a side note, I've been using my second-generation Mac Mini (the first with Intel chips, cheapest model) with Linux for more than two years because it had become unbearably slow with OSX Tiger. Then as I was about to get a MacBook Pro I decided to re-train myself using OSX, so I reinstalled it on the Mini, and was disappointed big time as I found out that in just two years Tiger was *completely* abandoned and not even Google Chrome would run on it.

But!

Being the geek I am, once I got my shiny new MacBook Pro, I used it to install OSX Snow Leopard on the Mini's hard drive (because the installer wouldn't run on the Mini itself), and surprise! it was even faster than Tiger. Still slow, but at least usable and I can run Chrome on it now.

So, thumbs down for Apple for trying to prevent me to install the new operating system on an old machine, and thumbs down again for failing to do so.

What about a used Mac? I figure true mac-heads to be pretty inclined to upgrade their hardware often (or then again maybe not: a Mac “just works” for a lot more time than a PC on average), and an iMac from, say, 2 generations ago should still be a pretty good machine (with an awesome screen, and very quiet, and with rock solid software).

For what it's worth, I use Windows, Mac *and* Linux, and each system has its niche which I'll try to briefly summarize

- Windows: cheap, everybody says it's easy to use although it's not that true but everybody knows and uses it anyway, easy to get software because there's tons of it, great to play games (actually I use Windows for gaming only), easy to "break" and to get infected by viruses. I'm talking about software only, though: I know by first hand experience that Dell computers are rock solid. Asus, a bit less. The other two brands are not imported here in Italy.

- Linux: cheaper than Windows, harder to learn, no games, but *all* the software is free of charge and you can do lots of stuff with it, although the advanced stuff is where it really shines. Plus, it's virtually immune to viruses. You can run Linux on any PC, and even on Macs, and that's the beauty of it: you get to decide whether to use it or not, and if you do, it won't (ever) cost you a penny.

- Mac: expensive, but it's like Linux dressed like Windows and it's easier to use than both. The hardware is excellent, and as I said before, Macs are all very quiet: you barely hear them. The Mac is the only machine you can run everything on, that's why most computer geeks like me get one sooner or later. It's decent for gaming too, though PCs are better in that department.


With all 3 systems you can do the "usual stuff" of surfing the net, sending e-mails, writing texts, computing spreadsheets, watching movies, chatting on line... there really is no one better than the other in this department: all have the same capabilities, with more or less pizazz but who cares as long as they get the job done?

I can't really say so... luckily, I guess. I have my good moments and I have my bad moments, but for those I tend to leave the "chemicals" out of the equation, for two (IMO) good reasons:

1. I never quite understood why people drink, smoke or do drugs, well knowing it's bad for the body. I could perhaps understand smoking, if one likes the taste of smoke (I don't, but I won't discuss tastes), so maybe it's killing you slowly, but if you like it, well what the hell, a life without pleasure ain't a life worth living. So I hate smoke, but I'm cool with the idea of smoking.

Drinking 'til you're smashed and doing drugs, that's a different thing though. I don't personally know anyone doing drugs except some dope occasionally, but I know several people who drink heavily. Why on earth would you do that? Do people really *enjoy* feeling sick, throwing up, crawling home and having an explosive headache the morning after? Life may suck at times, but when you're drunk it sucks even more, so what's the point? Note that I'm not criticizing or least of all condemning... I just don't understand and that's why I never got caught in that kind of addiction.

2. The other reason I don't play with my body's chemistry is that, well, my body already does it enough on its own. Sometimes I do feel the need to blast things out of my mind, maybe when I'm caught in a vicious circle of thoughts I can't get out of (happens quite often, alas). In those situations, I actively go seeking an addiction, and I usually have two options: one is working (I'm a bit of a workaholic), the other is playing video games.

Usually working helps me relax and not think about problems I can't solve (y' know, problems involving other people), but when I'm seriously down on morale, only video games really cut it. I usually prefer role-playing games games with a rich back story, so that for some hours I can pretend I'm someone else -- not my poor little insignificant self, but some badass on a mission to save the world or destroy it, both will do. Video games really rock on that department, plus I have the advantage that since they don't alter my chemistry significantly, eventually I get bored and go back living my life, so I don't really risk getting suckered in for too long. Just enough to "reset" my mind when I need it.


So I guess I can only speak about "real" introversion, but I've got tons of that.

I think I can agree with your mindset: I find mine to be pretty similar, except for the part where I'd gladly get into another wrong relationship, of course not knowing it in advance.

In other words, I'd gladly live the illusion again, but it's kinda hard, perhaps because my experience taught me well how to spot incompatible people pretty quickly... but still, I'm tired of sitting around and doing nothing but attending just to my survival and not my happiness. I'm glad I'm here so I can talk with new people and gather new ideas: in a way it's better than finding yet another useless date and be gone and back at square one again.

BTW, I just read your profile and found it funny. I too am big on self-irony, but I find it depressing that many small-minded people take self-irony as weakness. It's soooo dull. For what it's worth, reading your profile cracked more than a smile, and I think you're the kind of guy I'd like to hang around with -- no more than once every two months though, because I'm an introvert and that's how much I socialize.

Yep, I second that. I totally favor the extinction of the human race as it would be a big gain for the planet, and coherently, I don't plan to reproduce.

Though I don't think that's gonna stop me from trying.

Hehe, I chose this site because I stumbled upon it by chance and it looked just like how I always fancied a dating site should be: free (i.e. without the "supermarket logic"), fun, and with an open forum where people can discuss whatever they like. Isn't this just brilliant? I think this site is a rare gem, and if it didn't exist already, I would invent it myself just like this.



Now *this* is interesting and opens a big topic I've been thinking a lot about. “Lack of joy and passion”, you say, but what if we introverts live joy and passion differently? Does it have to always be all cheers and laughs? Or can it also be warm smiles? And what about intellectual passion, doesn't that count a little bit?

I take it that we often are melancholic folks, but what if it's just because most people don't understand us? I for one don't want to be like that just because people see me like that.

No one's forcing anything on anyone, but I personally read that as a sign of people living more and more in their shells.

Thanks for the tip, but that part has already been taken care of.

I've been in treatment for about 5 years, and I have to admit that my shrink helped me keep my sanity in the tougher times. But lately I also feel we've come at the end of our rope and that she's done everything she could - that's why I'm turning to other people, for other things.

And yes, maybe what I've said might sound a little dramatic, but if you read it in a rational way, darkness is nothing to be feared, per se. And that's what's going on in my skull: I just can't see a thing, but it just feels wrong, not anguishing.