see this is how I get so serious. But what happens when your dead? You can't have sex anymore. Does that mean we don't exist anymore?

See, instead of self-gratification, the essence of my being is gratification of others. But in my experience of trying to gratify everyone, just a few people, and individuals in the wrong method, I have realized that you can't try and gratify everyone. I'm sure there's probably one billion people on earth that I could have earth-shattering sex with. Seriously here, I think I'm pretty good. And if that is the benchmark that we are measuring against, we will all have a grand ol' time measuring up. However, this is unprofitable for YOU. I'm sure the other people you're working to gratify will be satisfied (we are real good at this after all, we have enough practice), but who is going to satisfy you? This is the issue at hand. If you truly seek to take someone else's needs, wants, and desires as your own, there is no room for anything else. The only way to truly be gratified is to seek another's as your own. But this is totally unsustainable in any situation excepting a monogamous relationship, because you're only one person and there's only 24 hours in a day. And I will make the argument for marriage at this point.

And really we should be seeking to gratify God's purposes in our lifes, not our own or anyone elses. That's why this is the model for the marriage relationship.

so of the 3 billion members of the opposite sex, how many do you think can get you off? is this really the crowning achievement of our civilization? is there nothing more gratifying we could be working towards?

I suppose my question is do we really understand what we really want? We can only consciously perceive that which our unconscious mind has allowed. Your unconscious mind will decide what is important and what you are 'allowed' to perceive. So what you experience as a desire is a function of the way your brain has been wired. This factors in everything: genetics, epigenetics, the way you were raised, what happened to you growing up. So I for one do not trust the thoughts that flow through my head to be accurate representations of reality. We think things are acceptable or not largely on what has happened to us externally. This is an inevitable consequence of brain function. Therefore we must work diligently to exercise our unique human ability: stepping outside our own brain function to contemplate life and then returning to make choices again another day. This is the only way we will realize the only reason we put all the focus on sex is because of all the external deceptions trying to keep you locked into a particular framework. Your family, friends, society. Radio, TV, the internet. On the most fundamental level these are engaged in warefare to determine your worldview, and ultimately how you feel about important things like sex, family, LOVE (which incompasses all), and everything else. Does anyone else think this much about it?

so I just want to encourage people to not take their life at superficial face value. You are more than an animal roaming the planet. It is the accumulation of millions of choices that defines who you become. And at any point you can change and become something else. That's the unique part about being human. I no longer have to live my life in a quest for physical human emotion, I now have a higher calling and a more thorough, accurate understanding of who I am as a person. But I am still only one perspective, and we need human interaction to understand other people's perspecive to clarify and refine our current world view. We're just human beings and will never understand the depths of how and why sex is such an important part of not just physical but spiritual life. Sexual immorality is the one sin that is against the body. I'm not quoting here, I'm telling you what I've found out by making a series of ever-increasingly important mistakes. All the bad things that have happened in my life because of sex are worse than all the other bad things I've ever been through combined. Is this a coincidence, or is this a consequence of natural laws which we are still struggling to understand?

Short answer: yes I'm OK with that.

This is why people don't like me, I'm way too serious.

In strictly the physical realm of course it's pleasurable! It's designed to be the ultimate. But, what other 'levels of truth' are we forgetting about if we limit ourself to the physical?

In my experience, the brief physical pleasure has been far outweighed by a whole host of other issues which present themselfs after the fact. Such as: changes in the relationship, changes in the individuals, redefinition of purpose for the relationship (moving more to the physical -- not a good thing), let alone diseases and procreation. Do these not count for something or should we just indulge in moment?

The real question is, what is life? Is it exclusively this phyisical human experience, or is there something more?

I will be having a deep emotional relationship culminating in marriage before I endulge in selfish physical gratification again. Why do y'all have sex? What do you really get out of it? That lasts until the next day I mean... is it really just about physical pleasure? Immediate gratification and temporary pleasures no longer quench the thirst I seem to have on a daily basis. Am I alone in this regard?

btw the AFF ads on this site are a bit over the top. I don't want to see that!