I used to smoke pot, but not anymore. All it did was make me tired.

O.k. First I want to thank each and every one of you for helping me out by giving me website names to help find my family. I put messages on message boards on every website given to me... Today.. I was laying on my bed listening to the radio, and I had this strong urge to check my email. So I get up and check my email, and a man emailed me and thought that he may be a distant cousin of mine, and started giving names of family members. So I emailed him right away to tell him that some of the names are names of my family members... He mentioned the name Ruby, and that is my grandmother.. So he gave me her address and phone number... I called the number and sure enough it was my grandma who I have never talked to or met before... She was telling me my dad is ok, I have aunts and uncles, and people who have been searching for me for 7 years and were unable to reach me because I moved so many times... which is true.. and they said that they would be more than willing to send me a plane ticket to come and see them for a while... I am so happy and blessed... And I just want to thank all of you for your help...If it wasn't for you all, I would have never heard from the man who gave me the number... I would have never known to check the websites you gave me... Thanks to all of you. God Bless.

Hey, I care... Yes we all have problems, you are right there, and men aren't worth all the trouble to me... I was abused for 6 years before I finally was fed up with it... But then again, my parents pulled me out of that relationship... Things will get better... just give it some time...

And for all of those who posted... Thanks for the advise... I checked into St. Vincent De Paul, and they don't do that anymore where I am from... the only thing they do is give out furniture to those who need it... They don't do the gas vouchers...but that is ok... my dad agreed to put gas in the car after a huge arguement... I explained to him that I didn't think it was fair that I do all his beer runs because he is to drunk to drive, and then he complains when I can't go because I don't have the gas... All of my running is for him and mom, and I never get gas in the car... So he changed his tune real quick.

Also about HUD... There is a 2-3 year waiting list... It wouldn't be so bad if it was just our county included in that, but since I live in a small county, it is combined with another county... SO that makes it longer... Our County alone would only be about six months... but since it's not, it is longer. The place that I checked into before was HUD houing... you just didn't need a voucher... it was subsidized housing... based on income without a voucher. I still couldn't afford it... but I am going to check into the HUD list now... I talked it over with mom and she said that I could stay here and she wouldn't make me leave... She said that I could stay as long as I wanted and if I wanted to sign up for HUD that I could stay here until I found a place... That made me feel a lot more stable...I was afraid I was going to have to jump from place to place all the time live I did before...

Hang in there everyone... I know it is hard right now for those going through a hard time. God will bless all of us one of these days... He is just waiting for the right time. I know we sometimes want to rush that, but it doesn't do us any good... All of you are in my prayers... Everyone, keep your chin up, and things will get better soon... (advice from my mom to me, that I am passing on to you.)

Ouch!!!! I know that had to hurt. I sure hope his elbow heals fast. Keeping him in my prayers.

pray for all those suffering from depression. (including me)

a lot of people are out there and just don't know what to do financially or even emotionally. I myself are one of them.

Just a question...

I posted a topic on here today, and then once I posted it, I read it, and realized that I messed up... Is there a way to go back and edit what you wrote to fix it, or not?

oops... sorry... I got ahead of myself in the last posting... What I meant to say is that the doctors won't change my meds,
BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN ON THEM SO LONG... SORRY....

I sure hope everyone out there gets to feeling better. I am going through depression again myself... I am still on my meds, but sometimes they do nothing for me. The docs won't change them so long... don't make any sense to me, but that is what he said. I thought maybe he would give me another med to take with it like a mood stabilizer, but he won't do that either. As I have told you before, I am looking for family members. I found my uncle and my dad. My uncle didn't know my dads complete address and now he doesn't have a phone anymore, so no one can contact him, so back to the searching I was for a complete address... I went on every website that you all had told me too, and I come up with city, state, zip, but no street name or house number unless you wanna pay a large fee for one document... I don't wanna have pay a years worth of membership for a one time use. It is not worth it to me. I am on SSI and it is bad enough that I only have a few dollars out of my check to live on considering they took half of it away because of over payment... Then today I go to look at an apartment that was based on income... and it was really pretty.. I was given the application and then came home and filled it out since you have to mail it in to a company, and when I got home and calculated the rent they told me I would pay and the average utilities which was cheeper than anything anyone could find, I realized that I still would come up 100.00 short. I can't win for losing. Living here with mom and dad is becoming hell. They know I am going to be for quite a while, and in my situation it looks as if it is going to be the rest of my life, and they won't even put in a cable line in my room for me to watch TV. Mom never lets anyone watch what they want on the TV except dad, I get hollered at for all the time I spend on the computer, like I really have other things to do. I don't have nothing else to do here. No gas to go anywhere, no TV because there is no cable and even local channels don't come in, and the computer is all I have to keep me busy, and now I get hollered at for being on it all day. Mom watches TV all day, so it isn't like she wants to talk to me or anything. Dad works all day, comes home, drinks a few beers or more, and then eats supper, watches tv and goes to bed. So it isn't like he wants to talk much either. I am just so aggravated with this whole life of mine. No I am not going to do nothing stupid, but gee, I feel like mom and dad just want me to sit in a chair all day and do nothing. I can't get a job because my doctors won't release me to work on count of my bi polar disorder which I think is stupid because I held a job before, but it wouldn't do me any good... I live so far out in the country that it would take more in gas than what I would get paid an hour, a day, or a week. There are no jobs where I live. I had thought about doing some online typing jobs... but they cost money to start up and you have to have a credit card to do all that, and I don't have that... and then when someone orders it for you, they send you a book of different jobs you can do, and then you go to that website and sign up and pay more money...This whole world is all about money... You don't have it, and your stuck. I was hoping someone here could possibly give me any ideas or suggestions about online jobs... Do any of you know any jobs that are ligit and that don't cost so much to start? I love typing, as you all can see, lol, and a job that would deal with computers and typing is good for me if it pays good.

I am so sorry to hear about your dad.. He may not be with you physically, but he's in your heart, and I am sure he is watching you from heaven and has a smile on his face.

I have been through so much stress in the last 48 hours looking for my family that I don't know if I will ever find them... All I get is names and address... you have to pay to get in to the technical stuff... I went through so many message boards with my dads name and none of them matched.. I wrote down 72 addresses with my dads name thinking the system may be messed up and not accurate, and I wrote down 43 addresses on my dad's mom... and I know nothing about her, just a name... nothing else.. I will have to take the time and write to all of them and see what comes out of it.. I guess I don't have no other option...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TESSA'S MOMMY

VERY SWEET POEM

Thanks... I am in the process of writing down loads and loads of addresses under my fathers name on zabasearch.... 72 of them listed... I will check out the other ones also as soon as I am finished to see if I get any other results.

Thank you so much... I will try those.. I haven't heard of those sites... Greatly appreciated.

I'm glad you are doing better...


For me... I am doing ok today, but getting really aggervated at the fact that for the last 10 years I have been looking for my father, and I can't find him. I have done everything... I have search reunion.com, people search.com, ancestory.com, everywhere, and I can't seem to locate him... I have written letters to people with the same name as his, and I have received some letters back just telling me that the person wasn't my dad, and good luck on my search... I really want to find him... Does anyone have any ideas on what I can do or what step I should take next?

Today, the man who killed that little 9 year old girl Jessica Lunsford... was sentenced to death... He is appealing it though... We need to keep Jessica's family in our prayers, and also pray that the appeal goes no where for this man who did such a horrible thing.. He not only killed that little girl, but he raped her first, and then killed her so she wouldn't tell. Please pray that JUSTICE is served.

I'm cancer... June 29th

This day still hasn't gotten any better... I am sitting in the kitchen drawing as usual, and mom is going through old clothes, and is asking me if this one will fit my son, and if that one will fit my son... and I am trying to draw... then I just told her I found something neat that I wanted to draw in a book, and she sees me sitting down and just starting, and she says, can you take these out to your car and donate them to St. Vincent De Paul... UGGHHHH.... I have no peace in this house...

Maybe I just didn't get enough sleep... Cause the only time I feel like this is when I am not medicated, and I am taking my meds so I just don't get it... I am very tired too...
And for the guys... no it is not PMS... cause I don't have PMS anymore... Thank God.

Please pray for my grandma... She broke her hip over a year ago, and they put pins in her hip to hold it together until she healed... and now the pins are bothering her, and she has to go back in the hospital to have them removed... Minor surgery, so she says... but I am worried about her... I pray that she makes it through it all.

no problem... just coming back here to say that today is not going well for me... I wake up and get on here, and the batteries die in my wireless mouse... So I go the storage area to get a new mouse that don't take batteries, because I am fed up with buying them... and come back, and the mouse don't fit the computer. So I go to the store to by batteries, and come home only to realize I bought the wrong size. Luckily I bought two packs, because that was the last of my money, and I had already opened one pack.. so I go back to the store and exchange them for what I need... I am online for a while, and I start getting hungry... so I go eat a bowl of Ramen noodles, and I was about to heat up some left over chili from two days ago which was in the fridge, and the speghetti noodles stunk, and the chili was molded... UGGHHHH So needless to say.. my day has not gone good so far...

Welcome to JSH... great site to be on.