You bring up a good point, Shasta1. I should have stopped to consider that before I painted this mom with the "spineless parent brush."

Was I supposed to get a magic wand???? Does it come with instructions? (What the heck am I asking THAT for? I never read the dang instructions until AFTER I break something.)

Many thanks to all of you for taking the time to say hi.

I always wondered what people meant when they described someone as an "Enabler." Now I know! That mom needs to grow a spine and tell Junior to get off his butt and push the grocery cart for her.

There are kind-hearted people in lots of places. A number of years ago, when I was a police officer, I investigated a suicide case in which a woman died, leaving a husband and two young children behind. Her death occurred two days before Christmas.

These people were poor. Below dirt poor. Even if mom hadn't died, I suspect those kids weren't going to be having much of a Christmas.

So, on the day before Christmas me and some of the people in my department took it upon ourselves to start a collection to help this family. I figured if we could raise a hundred dollars the family might be able to have a decent meal and buy a few presents for the kids. We went into bars and told the story, then passed around my uniform hat. We went to department stores and asked for a couple toys. We went to grocery stores and asked for some food.

Now, please understand, this story is not about ME or my fellow cops. It's about the people who shared what they had so someone else could have a better, although still sad, Christmas. At the end of the day I was able to give that family $1500 and I had a patrol car full of toys and food for them.

There ARE good people in the world. Sometimes we just don't see it enough.

I can relate to the feeling of needing to vent! Being forced into a divorce when one doesn't want to get divorced can bring out all kinds of frustrations.

Over the past few months I've tried all the normal ways of dealing with anger, frustration, and despair...

I tried taking long walks. I'd walk and walk and walk. And then I'd be even more angry because suddenly I realized I now have to walk all the way BACK!

I tried burying myself in my work. I'm a saddlemaker. I use very, very sharp knives to cut through the thick leather. One should NEVER handle very sharp knives when one is angry. It's impossible to clean blood off leather.

I tried talking about it to someone else. I found that the people in line behind me at the espresso bar really got angry when I poured my soul out to the barrista.

They say spending quality time with your pets is a good way to reduce stress. So, I tried taking my dogs for a walk, but it was 2 degrees outside my house today and the dang dogs looked at me like, "Are you frickin' nuts???"

Some people like to drink when they get upset. I tried that. I've spent a ton of money on diet pepsi and it didn't help a damn bit.

But, I have invented one sure-fire remedy for needing to vent. When things get really really bad I go outside and I SCREAM MY HEAD OFF! Luckily, I live waaaaaaay out in the country and there's no one to hear me. I did try this technique in a more populated setting once. I don't recommend it, though, because now I can't ever go back into Walmart.

I'm pretty comfortable talking with people. I've learned that most people appreciate a smile and a kind word. And the ones who don't appreciate it... well, they are the ones who need it the most.

But this topic is about LEAVING one's comfort zone. For me, that would be dancing. I am terrible at dancing! Imagine some big dufus being repeatedly zapped with a cattle prod. That's me dancing. It ain't gonna happen. No way.

Thanks, all, for the friendly comments. I look forward to sharing ideas and thoughts in the forums.

Chuck

Okay, this idea of online dating is pretty new to me, so if I'm making any mistakes please feel free to let me know.

My name is Chuck and I'm 49 years old. I live in Washington state. I've been married 28 years, but that is about to end. A few months ago my wife told me she "Fell out of love" with me and no longer wants to be married. I had no clue. I thought we were both happy. Even she admits that we've had far, far more good times than bad times, but she just doesn't want to continue. Since that time, I have been trying everything I could think of to save my marriage but none of it has worked. She insists that a divorce is necessary, but wants us to remain friends.

It's taken me a long time to come to grips with this new reality, but I'm gradually getting used to the idea that I am soon going to be single again. I wish it weren't true, but I have to accept it as a fact.

Okay, enough whining.

About me... I'm a retired police officer. I live a very quiet life in the country with an assortment of horses, dogs, and cats. I have a small business as a saddlemaker, but it's really more of a hobby than a business. I guess I don't need to go much further because you can read more about me in my profile.

In the past few months I've had to adjust to living alone, and frankly, I'm tired of being lonely. So, a few weeks ago I listed a profile on this website, and now I've worked up enough courage to start posting in this forum.

I'm not really looking for a relationship yet. I'm still married, at least until sometime in February. Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think it's right to seek out any relationship beyond friendship while I'm still married. That's one of the reasons I haven't posted a picture yet. For some reason, posting a picture right now would seem almost like cheating. I know that sounds weird, but it's how I feel. But, I would like to find a friend to chat with sometimes.

Thanks for viewing my post.

Oh, and if this post is too much information, PLEASE someone let me know! I haven't been in this kind of situation for almost 30 years, and there were no internet forums back then.