You said that they should come up with a better name for prostitutes.
How about "Copulation Consultant"?

A guy is in court for catching, killing, and eating an American Bald Eagle.

The judge says, "I think that you know, that the American Bald Eagle is our national bird!" "Furthermore, the American Bald Eagle is a bird of prey, and like all birds of prey, it is a protected species, and it is a felony to kill one!"
"I was just reading the report of this incident, that was sent to me by the dept of Fish and Game". "Apparently, your snow mobile broke down, and you were stranded in the mountains, during a three week blizzard, and the only way that you survived, was by killing, and eating and American Bald Eagle.

The defendant confirms this story.

The Judge says, "Normally, I would throw the book at you for doing this, but since it was simply a case of survival, I am dropping all the charges against you!" "You are free to go".

The defendant is totally elated, and is just about to leave the courtroom, when the judge calls him back to the bench.

The judge says...."Hey, just before you leave....I have always wondered what an American Bald Eagle tastes like, can you describe it to me?"

The former defendant says......"It is a bit fishy tasting....like an Osprey, but the meat is really stringy.....like a California Condor!"
"Have a nice day!"

I always have a worse story, or a better thing that happened to me. I can also tell a lamer joke than anyone. Consequently, I never get invited to parties, or social events......which allows me to stay home, and write nonsense like I am doing right now!

I think that walking on eggshells would be noisy , and it would make a mess.