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Topic:
yes men are shallow
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Men are attracted to beauty. Is that such a bad thing? Andy - again you have missed the point - this isnt about is it a 'good' or a 'bad' thing to be attracted by looks alone... it is about people professing that they 'so dont care' about looks and then pointedly proving that they do... it is just the dishonesty of the whole thing - why waste my time! |
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Topic:
yes men are shallow
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WAIT - WAIT a minute.... is that supposed to read "Yes, men are shallow" or "Yes men" are shallow. Hmmmm? hmmm? "YES MEN"....are WORSE than shallow....they dont even profess to have a brain let alone use it....nothing is a bigger turn off than someone who doesnt know their own mind... |
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Topic:
yes men are shallow
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LOL - I hear you - I dont care if people announce up front that they have certain expectations about looks that come in their top three 'must haves' - for myself - there must be chemistry for a kiss - but to seduce me and get me into bed - you have to be able to use the art of conversation and thought to really turn me on......what i take umbrage at is people who profess to want more than just a trophy on their arm and then go pointedly about proving that a trophy on their arm is exactly what they want...male or female... That's where I messed up a lot when I was younger. I was involved in music, lots of cute girls around, but it turned out that there was no intellectual compatibility. "Write a song about me" is not exactly rocket surgery. Now that I'm a writer, I don't have that problem. There are no writer groupies, at least not on the level of writing where I'm at. But I'm not finding anyone who stimulates me intellectually, regardless. So, the automatic "Oh, she's cute" assessment that might flicker through my mind at the mall is quickly tempered by the "Yeah but I'll be bored to death in 3 months" alarm that always goes off in those situations. So, for me, there has to be a sort of multi-faceted attraction now....which never happens. There are plenty of cute ones around here, but no smart ones. And I really don't need another fluffball airhead. I was married to one of those already! now where was that generalisation quote i had a shot at....hmmmm...LOL.... 
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Topic:
yes men are shallow
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Out of curiosity, did their profiles say that looks don't matter? that they don't want trophies? b/c if they didn't then you're mixing those that have said it with those that never said it and once again that's an assumption which wouldn't be accurate based on false information or projected assumptions... i'll answer that with one question when was the last time you read a profile that said "ONLY MODELS NEED APPLY'... with about three exceptions each one of them stated that they were looking for someone smart, funny, intelligent etc....in their preferences majority ticked that they didnt care if the women were overweight or skinny....approx 85% specifically stated that looks were not all that important... given that photos were only sent AFTER contact was made via emails etc (so am guessing my profile and exchanges back and forth met the criteria of either SMART or FUNNY or INTELLIGENT...the only conclusion you can come to is that looks to them ARE important... having said that the black and white photo is not an unattractive photo at all....it is just REAL...without all the window dressing.... the proof will be in the pudding when i send the dressed up photo to those who seem to have dropped off the face of the earth... BTW - not remotely broken hearted here - this is an EXCELLENT way of sorting the WHEAT from the CHAFF!!!! maybe others might like to try it and see if get same results... 
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Topic:
yes men are shallow
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what amuses me no end though is that all these men absolutely insist that 'looks' are not 'that important'....it is a brain they are looking for - someone with a sense of humour, an intelligent mind, who is caring and compassionate and who has their shite together Well, I would rate looks as a factor, but not the most important factor. And I only say this after a number of ultimately horrible relationships wiith attractive airheads. I've admitted to being shallow here, I've campaigned for the RIGHT to be shallow, the right to admit it without being ostracized, I've admitted to being an arrogant narcissistic conceited jerk, I've done all of that BECAUSE I'm so tired of all of the "Looks don't matter, it's what's on the inside that counts" protestations from people who won't even LOOK at anybody who isn't "Model Quality," to use another site's phraseology rather crudely. None of it matters. People will continue to lie about what they're looking for, because they're afraid to come across as shallow and superficial, even though that's exactly what they are. Maybe they just can't face the truth about THEMSELVES....? I don't know. I really don't care. "Law of Opposites" applies here. If someone says "I don't care about looks," it's generally a ruse to convince OTHERS that this is true. But it isn't. Me? I do care about looks. To an extent. But I've never been attracted to the "classic beauty," so my own personal preferences are a little off-center. Regardless, I still like the look I like. It matters. But a 160 IQ can make up for a hell of a lot, too. LOL - I hear you - I dont care if people announce up front that they have certain expectations about looks that come in their top three 'must haves' - for myself - there must be chemistry for a kiss - but to seduce me and get me into bed - you have to be able to use the art of conversation and thought to really turn me on......what i take umbrage at is people who profess to want more than just a trophy on their arm and then go pointedly about proving that a trophy on their arm is exactly what they want...male or female... |
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Topic:
yes men are shallow
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no Andy am not that stupid.... the photos were NOT posted only sent after they made contact with me - expressed interest - emails full of crap about how interesting i am and they would love to get to know me... the photos - if you were to take their 'honest' assertions literally - shouldnt have made a damn ounce of difference but they did... 
I understand how you feel and in many ways share the frustration, however, this is not just a 'man' thing. I have male friends who experience the same thing. Preferences are preferences and in this 2D format online ... words and images are all we've got 
ok - point taken - but i cant speak from the male perspective - only the female...i make a point of responding to everyone that contacts me - irrespective of their photo - as i have put on my profile that i am interested in making friends - and i have - some really really good smart funny terrific guys who are nowhere near the 'good looking category' - but have certainly enriched my life.... |
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Topic:
yes men are shallow
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 Dammit!!!  I wanted to be SHALLOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! 
you go girl! LOL |
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Topic:
yes men are shallow
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I'm shallow, too, and I am a woman. Not looking for Mr. America, but I know what I like when I see it. And I want to see it. And I want to see more than one photo as everyone has a "good" pose. If they are not attractive to me, I do not want to carry it further to see if there is more inside, except for friendship perhaps. If I don't find someone physically attractive, TO ME, he'll never make it as anything more than a friend. I want the whole package, but that includes being attracted to my mate physically. It could be eyes, smile, sexy arms, SOMETHING, for me to want to keep getting to know that man as a mate. And, I think most men think like me. Of course, it CRACKS ME UP to no end when you see those older pot-bellied men with hair growing out their nostrils and ears expecting a young barbie type, not realizing that they better have a hefty credit limit to spend time with the type. It's like they think they look like Rock Hudson when they see themselves in the mirror. Yet, I give them snaps for having high self-esteem. Wish I had THAT high esteem. But I'm fairly grounded in expectations, and don't usually dig high maintenance men. you just proved you arent shallow the shallow comes from the dishonesty not from being honest about it |
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Topic:
yes men are shallow
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no Andy
am not that stupid.... the photos were NOT posted only sent after they made contact with me - expressed interest - emails full of crap about how interesting i am and they would love to get to know me... the photos - if you were to take their 'honest' assertions literally - shouldnt have made a damn ounce of difference but they did...
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Topic:
yes men are shallow
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everyone has preferences in what they like and are attracted to. I don't see this as necessarily shallow and generalizations aren't a good idea IMO *edit* example: not all guys are... not all women are.... Very well said another example of shallowness - generalisations are a tool we use in life to get by - it simply isnt possible to discriminate between - let alone consider - all alternatives to any question....if the best you can do is come up with a red herring of 'dont generalize' in response to my post then perhaps you really dont have anything much to say that is worth hearing....after all - you arent seriously suggesting that YOU never generalize.... |
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Topic:
yes men are shallow
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it is a sad state of affairs isnt it heavenly?
i am an incurable optimist (usually) but this one is weighing me down quite heavily........ sincerity is a dying art methinks! 
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Topic:
yes men are shallow
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hey I'm not the one who insists that LOOKS ARENT IMPORTANT....
I dont care if they are to an individual but dont crap on about it if you dont hold true to the adage.... 
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Topic:
yes men are shallow
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that to me sounds just like lip service....
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Topic:
yes men are shallow
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am conducting a 'social experiment' if you will on another site after becoming incredibly suspicious that yes men just look at the pictures and no further....
the profile i have seems to be getting plenty of hits and have had lots of contact...then it came to the photos.... i have a choice of several photos - one taken at the end of a six year old birthday party after a week of working fourteen hour days - it is in black and white and i am wearing absolutely zip makeup - the photo i think is quite ok for an 'a la naturale' look and shouldnt scare anyone away the second photo is of course in colour - and i am wearing makeup - you can tell it is the same person but this is quite an attractive photo... the experiment? i alternate btw sending the black and white photo and the colour one no prizes for guessing which one gets the most responses what amuses me no end though is that all these men absolutely insist that 'looks' are not 'that important'....it is a brain they are looking for - someone with a sense of humour, an intelligent mind, who is caring and compassionate and who has their shite together blah blah blah.... oh and btw - it doesnt matter if they are 'ugly' men or 'good looking' men (if you subscribe to an aesthetic point of view' - they all go for the pretty photo... the next part of the experiment - i will make contact again with those that didnt respond to the plain photo by sending them the pretty one... lets just wait and see if they respond to that...if they do...it proves me correct...you really are a shallow species... |
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Obama who?????
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Topic:
What is life?
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the thing you have when you arent dead....
why make it hard!!!! |
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