i totally agree with you. maintaining a friendship with an ex shows a firm sense of security from both sides. two of my ex's are now much better friends than we ever were lovers.

not many agree with this. but i've never been a staunch grudge-holder.

before i give advice, i would have to know how long ago you're girfriend and her ex broke up. yes, it's true that remaining friends with an ex is healthy. i'm still friends with two of my ex-girlfriends. but if she only got out of that relationship recently, say, a few months ago, then she may still have interest. and what's more important, if she only got out with her previous relationship recently and is already in one with you, she may be a relationship frog, that is, jumping from one to another. and that's unhealthy for all three people involved.

but you see, this is all speculation. the solution is to ask her straight up of what are her intentions. in the meantime, try to understand your insecurities. i've been there before, you know, feeling intense anger which spawns from jealousy and which ultimately originates from plain hurt. either way, for a person to lash out at his/her significant other only three weeks into a relationship is a sign of a person who may not be ready for a relationship. you said this has happened before. so be honest with yourself and access the reasons for your lack of self worth. depending on your girlfriend's level of healthiness (yes, there are degrees of healthiness) she may have already deemed you unfit to handle her life of boy-friend to friend lifestyle. if she is really healthy in these regards, possibly the only way to patch it up is for you to come forward in sharing your explanation of why you became so angry with her in the first place. such a self emotional analysis may very well impress her, not to mention show her you're actively taking measures to ensure the prevention of a second steamy ranting.

i hope this helps.