you broke my heart!

i thought i have found 7 secret lovers... which kept me alive the whole night.

I'm reviving many matches on my profile?? are they real or they are automated thing to bring me to subscription??

it was nice reading this... a new realization that I never come to reflect on..

Thank you Tom... and really I wish you good luck and success.

actually... I never considered priorities change... you know.. how could I when I'm not there, yet?? Also, it's not only the age, it's the achievements... you raised a family; so, definitely I can imagine that even the body will want different things, now. Human beings always amazed me... we are too complicated in our bodies and basic programming.

however, since I was 18 I had always mixed with a group with very old men.. we all were Syrian, of course... my father and his friends... the worst bad boys I ever met... their main topic had always been jokes about wwomen and sex with them... and usually about their wives... I never forget the jokes they made, the younger of them all was a father in his med-thirties... my age today. The older was his father, he was around 80s.. he's gone now. Anyway... the jokes and tales they made about women and sex was the greats ever... never my cheeks and abdomen muscles ached me for three four days due to laughing so hard like they did after a picnic with this agey group. I loved to go with them... I was new to the career.. you know... so, their jokes had double impact on me at that time... but there's one thing.. I could see at that time that they didn't seem to be in need for women as I did...

except to make joke, of course.. loooooool

and they sounded dreadfully so experienced...

it was great to sit with such people... the elder.

so, I agree with you, Tom.

Everyone has his/her own priorities...

cheers

because she was only a friend... but if you considered her a romantic partner, things sure would have been different...

So, no! I don't think there was any thing wrong with you.

a few years ago, I had a similar situation with a female friend... maybe one of the most beautiful ladies I ever personally met... she had troubles with her boyfriend, who was also my very close friend, and I invited them to my house to lossen things a bit.. both are my close friends... somehow, she and I ended up alone in my house... almost drunk, after a heavy dosage of barbecue.. and she did the greatest mistake of laying down on the sofa... like a half-naked blond mermaid.. I entered the room and was shocked with her beauty and allure for seconds... came close to her, knelt down on her with my elbow on her abdomen, and looked her in the eyes and said.. "how about putting something on you? I fear you would catch some cold"... with a wicked smile of course... she hit me with a pillow and said... don't be silly... for more than two hours we remained there sitting speaking and chatting... the topic of sex was there... but only in regard to her problem with her boyfriend... they were on trouble and seeking break-up...

we always met alone for so long.. but neither made the slightest attempt... and I can't deny my admiration of her beauty and allure, and she knew it... yet, we were friends, and we remained friends even after they broke.

Friendship is a sexless relation... but with this magical ingredient called sex it turns into something more deeper and radiant...

but you need chemistry first.

cheers

Thanks Tom… thanks for the tone you use.

Actually…
I am not trying to understand anything…
I already know more than needed.

“Fine then… why are you asking such an evident question?” I hear you say..

Well.. even thought it might look an easy silly question to be asked, no male until now was able to give a definite answer.

However, it’s stated in the post above why I am asking.

This question was meant to be a discussion point with those who stated some weird opinions about sex and relationships and how both relate. In general these people thought that relationships shouldn’t necessarily be based on sexual interest. Well, since I disagree, since reality tells us the opposite, since psychology proves the direct opposite, I came to ask this question so that those people may understand what they are saying.

So, it’s not me to who needs to understand.

“What is the difference (limit) between a friendship and a relationship?”

A very easy question…

Were Sigmund Freud here, he would have ended the quarrel with one word!

Yet, no one showed up to answer it from his/her own experience. And those who did answer, spoke in virtual not in practical.

And I am not surprised that only the females were too close to the truth; you know… most females understand such things ten times better than any man… however, those female didn’t say it directly, but their answers carried the key-word many times.

So, what’s my argument -which is not divine inspiration- about the topic?

Clearly, in real practices of life…
Any relationship that is not based on sexual interest (of any form or degree) is nothing but a Friendship.
Any Friendship that has sexual interest (expressed or repressed) is not pure friendship; it’s a distorted form of Relationship.
Virgin love died centuries ago.. Frankly I only met it in novels and poetry; maybe it has never been a reality.

As a result,
Relationship is NECESSARILY built on, motived by, and seeking SEXUAL satisfaction.

We mate to procreate!
And this explains the behavior of those Kings and great figures of history… they wanted to vary their breeds and DNA that will one day inherit the throne. They were NOT looking for sexual pleasure as they already were married to the sexiest women known in the whole countries and lands. The other females were there only to provide better breed. King David even though already had six or seven wives, he forced another new woman to his palace… and she did it: Her son inherited the throne after his father David.

So, in short…
It isn’t how much LOVE and mutual understanding there is in the relation…

A Friendship is identical with a Relationship in almost every aspect..

Except one:

SEX!

And this is manifested in this statement:

this is the best answer until now...
but please, lady allow me for some editing... as a designer who scrutinizes in every detail, I can't resist put my touches on your details...

I would like just to retouch the first sentence only... only the first one.

A friendship relationship is not always sexual, even if it is a Man and Waman.

you should have said:

A friendship relationship is always none-sexual, even if it is a Man and Waman.

I just replaced the 'not' with 'none'... my hat off

good then... Answer this question...

Do you accept it that your wife has other relationships.. say with five other men???

You know... relationship in your culture is the same as friendship, so, it would be accepted to you, then.

Nothing personal... I'm just curious about men like you in your culture.

Answer please! do you accept?

I have read your answer a couple of time... and I got an important conclusion from it:

between a male & a female, there's no friendship.
they might be all the names you gave above:
long-term relation (romantic: it includes sex)
sexual-relation (fling: it includes sex)
off-and-on relation (dating: it includes sex)
love-hate relation (sexual relationship)
casual relationship (friendship of benefits: meaning sex)

What do you see in all these kind of relationsships???

they all have sex... So, none of them is considered friendship... even the last one that you mentioned, you said it is between friends, but they both have mutual benefits.

but again... I want you p notice, the sex might be there without a complete intecourse... I mean, the relation might be built on sexual attraction... if this is the case, then it isn't friendship... it is another kind of incomplete relation.

in Friendship, there is no sexual interest. If you are my friend, then you would be just like Jack, William, and Mehmet!

got it?

no this doesn't help, actually...

And English is my second sense..

anyway...
to read what you said...

notice that you have copied me when you concluded that friendship and relationship are one thing... I already have said this above.. have you read my question before you hit 'Replay'??

I said in my original post above that if a relationship doesn't have sex, then this turns it into a normal friendship.

so, to say they are one thing but one is deeper doesn't help...

if friendship is the same thing of relationship, then men can have sex with their female friends... you see where you are taking us?

((lol....I'm seeing many heads nodding so cheerful, now))

Also, it's not about culture differences... trying to move the topic to other field of study is hopeless and helpless... because basic instincts are universal among all species, alike is the social behavior. So, culture does nothing in this regard.

Finally to your notice...
any man in your culture can has many friendships with many females, BUT only one relationship with one femal... correct me if I am wrong.

While, to your remind...
In my culture... a man can have as many friendships with females as he like.... and ALSO as many relationships as he like... some limit it to four women (wives) only... some say it's open. Mohammad the Conquerer, just Like King David and King Somalian, has over 100 females in his harm. (call them wives, call them girlfriends.. I don't care now). Somalian is said to have over 700 females in his palace.

So, if there's any cultural problem, then it is not in my culture...
I (or we) know the difference...

You see...?? it's not about difference between cultures... it's about the difference between the two things: Friendship & Relationship.

So, what do you think???

----------------

Anyway... here's my argument for the topic:

Friendship & Relationship.

I will start by a tough question forwarded to all women.
If you are a woman reading this, please, answer those two questions put in black below:

If friendship and relationship are one thing, do you accept your partner in your relationship to have other relationships with other women???

you know... relationship is just like friendship.. so, do you allow him to have many relationships???

I guess the answer undoubtedly NOOOOOOOOOOO WAAAAAAAAAAAY.

well, why??

Because friendship is not like relationship...

Now, what about the other way round??? what about friendships with other females???

Is it acceptable to you (as a woman) to know your partner has many friendships with many women????

I guess you would be consent with this... maybe tightly, but it's ok. as long as we are speaking about friendship, then it would be ok.

You see the difference between your answers to these both questions????

to one question you answered with NOOOOOOOOOOO
and to the other question you might answered with YES.

Why???

why have your answer changed?

if friendship and relationship are one thing, then why do you accept one and reject the other?

Hence, I have proved to those with blurry understanding that friendships and relationships are not the same!

But why?

What is The Difference???

that post wasn't mine...

In conjunction to the question before about "relation & sex", and to all the opinions came in it, I would like to ask:

what is the difference between 'FRIENDSHIP' & 'RELATIONSHIP'?

##between a man and woman of course.##

here's the old topic link:
https://mingle2.com/topic/548497

This question is specially forwarded to those saying SEX isn't an essential part of a true relationship.

What differentiates a sexless Relationship from a Friendship?

If there's no difference, then they are one thing... the same thing.

while I was reading I was afraid this is true...

We men, we don't mind to take what is available for us for free. So, the best solution now is to let him know she is a woman of high value.. a hard-to-get woman..

but not too hard that he lose interest and move on in his life..

Usually, I dis-promote games and drama... but to me, they are stand-by weapons if war is striking my doors..

you know.. pragmatism.

I love such mentality.. I adore freedom... no

I worship Freedom.

That is when some one dominate your emotions selfishly, he/she will enslave you (unintentionally).

So, one solution is to not make him dominate all your emotions, time, thinking, concentration... etc.

This is the most important time where you need friends and go-outs.. you need an active busy life... busy from him.

I'm speaking from experience... change the air... change the charge you are in now... have some fun with your life... and he will know his way to you.

I agree 100%

Age plays important role (or rule) in defining the limit, the relation, and the meaning of these two things named (relation & Sex).

However,

and for all ages...

A Relationship without sex is a Friendship.

AND...
A Friendship with hidden, unfulfilled, unexpressed sexual desires is a torture.

And...
A Relationship with unfulfilled, un-mutual sexual desire is a deformed distorted relationship... incomplete!

except if you are meaning my grandfather-grandmother relation who are above 80s both.

Many don't realize that incomplete relationships usually end unhappily in cheating or break-apart happily...

A relationship without sex is a friendship.

Friendship with sexual desire (hidden or expressed) is...

HYPOCRISY!

polygamy is a great choice... it's a win-win solution..

loooooool

but this again is an ECHO to 'Relation and Sex'.

if you explained what to base them on, I can agree totally.

For now, sex is one important element. ANd any relation isn't built on it in more than 50%, it will collapse or cheating is a future tidings..

good luck!

Interesting answer.. I can have sexual affair with a certain woman, but still be crazily in love with another one.

Amazing!

This explains why women looking for love usually reject sex proposals...

To them, sex and love, are separated!

and this also helps reduce my amazement and confusion about certain committed women whom I come to slight contacts with in the street, the neighbor, in the daily life... even though they are happily committed, there is still something else that they might be willing to seek...

Amazing!

However...

It is a SERIOUS DILEMMA!

at least to me..

Why should I love you if I'm not attracted sexually to you?

Why should I have sex with you if I don't like you?

Why should I like you if you are not sexy (at least to me)??


read these very last questions and answer me, if you can...

How could I love you when I'm not interested in you as a sexual creature???
Do you think I'm looking for a new Mama??? where I feel love but don't feel sex??

I can't imagine how old failure (along with all its pains) can reflect (resurface back) into our new hope (relation).

If this is true, then it would be a disaster! because, time, then, would stop... life would be closed to new experiences...

I guess there's one scenario for this pain to follow us; and it is when we ran into a new relationship just for the sole purpose of escaping the old one... Here, YES! we would be deceiving ourselves... and other people.

we all had different kind of relations... new relations always looked brighter and promising... and time proved this to be true. But as everything else, no relation is the final perfect scene.