Ok, so a guy is walking down the shoreline and he comes across a lady laying on the beach crying her eyes out.
Right away he notices she has no arms or legs.
"What's wrong?"
"Oh, sir, it's terrible! My whole life I've never been kissed!"
He takes a quick look around, then leans down and plants a passionate kiss on her. As he walks away, he hears her sob even harder.
"What is it now?"
"Oh! Sir, my whole life, I've never been F****D!"
He stands for a moment, thinking. He reaches down, scoops the lady up in his arms and throws her in the ocean with all his might.
"Well lady, you're F****D now!!!"

I am just a simple girl looking for some excitement in my otherwise mundane life. You know, SSDD. I LIVE for laughter and if anyone can figure out why my screen name is what it is----that 50 bonus points!
Peace ----HC