Yup, she's on my friend's list.

Dark blue.

Once upon a time, a certain German family raided France mercilessly until they were offered territory in a treaty.

...Which is how I got a French surname without a passion for hot snails, slow cars, stinky women or hairy cheese.

Gender can be as blindly divisive as racial or cosmological or philosophical or political labels, if we let it.
It's disheartening to think that the human race hasn't developed beyond these simplistic traits.

That said, I'm pretty damn happy to have been born a man.

I do hate it when a woman gets all moody just because she's bloated and bleeding and mood swinging, distracted by whether she'll get child support from her cheating ex to cover what she can't make at her job, trying to drive a car that the greedy mechanic will never finish fixing, just like the doctor that finds a new, more invasive way to poke or prod her every year, then prescribes her some sort of hormone therapy that throws her off of her natural balance which her increasingly objectified daughter will likely never know and she thinks that I can fix it all because I was born with a penis.

...Or take out the trash. ...Something like that.

I used to say that I couldn't.

Then I was paid my first $100 an hour for a nothing job and it shut up my inner grump.

Maybe that's not the average definition of nice but it's a step past working to be civil so as not to waste my precious tic tic on fragile ids and egos.

They generalize.

I can be nice, but it's expensive.

Yeesh, I worked at a furniture rental place about a year ago and we found all kinds of things: rings, syringes, toys, (usually used) condoms... mice... dessicated lizards.

A few hours ago, my brother was working on a truck that he'd just bought and... found some rather large undershorts in the wiring under the dash.

What's the weirdest, most oddly placed or possibly illegal thing you've found in a "pre-loved" car?

Happy Birthday, man.

Transient Mind

I blow in the wind across this crust of land, a transient mind in search of home, of peace.
I see darkness in every direction, ignorance closes in, taunting that I will forget all that I worked so hard to learn.
Hope, once so fundamental, is tempered by understanding and jaded by realism, though what is real can be argued for an eternity and never proven to all.
The dreams of yesterday are a pitiful reminder of what neophytes humanity will always be, ever searching and forgetting.
Sometimes a glimmer of aspiration infiltrates, mocking intuition and lying that perhaps instead of learning the laws of the universe, one can create a new one in an artistic flourish which in reality, is simply a repetition of what mankind has done millions of times before and vanishes before it is appreciated or understood.
In this we understand our reason for survival, our pursuit is not for the knowledge that we gain in the end, it is the hunt itself, the learning is the objective, we live to grow.
It is this pointlessness that has plagued mankind forever, to study the writhing, vain, searching nature of humanity is in itself a writhing, futile search.
A plant grows for what?
To be trodden?
To be eaten?
The plant lives it’s brief life out in constant motion, buffeted by wind and rain but ever seeking the elements that it needs for survival, it is this exploration that forms the plant, which will make seed and die in the end… for what?
For the purpose of the growth of the seed; the promise of a legacy, another hunt.
If we achieve our dreams today, what will we live for tomorrow?
Another dream, the hope that we will be constantly improving and helping others, never reaching the optimum because if we do, what will we hunt?

...Not really a cheerful work but it sounded better than "PerpetuallyMovingNerd."

Fate by any other name...

Is generally my own damn fault.

-Download
-Quick Download
-Copy URL
-Send to mobile phone
-Send to locker

DlH can also help you to save .mp4 files but somewhere between that and my version of Quicktime, the sound is lost, so I download with DlH and use VLC to play the .flv (flash video) version.

The combo works very well, I'd recommend them.

downloadhelper.net

videolan.org/vlc/

Also, Safari users can find .flv's while watching the desired vid on Youtube by using the "option + command + A" keystroke and looking for the only file that's several Mb (10 to 25 Mb, rather than Kb) and includes the wording "videoplayback." To save the file, double click on it.

Frogs are classified as insects now. Good to know.

Why do I get the feeling you're not a prodigious drinker?

I think I speak for everyone when I say... pictures please.


Edit: I forgot to mention the baby mama drama on the way. Whateva.

Gracias, Ainjel

And... I certainly hope so, Lee.
Vanilla champagne did it for me, eh?

Knew I should'a told her we were going Dutch.
Probably hurt her pride, huh?

Guys... and by that I mean non-judgmental women, can you tell me what went wrong with my last date?

First, I got my own transportation, borrowed a scooter that had been propping open the door of my neighbor's kid's meth lab and spent the time to wash it... twice. Then, I told her not to worry because she's waaay over 21 (the legally required age to ride sans bean-bucket) and she just sulked on the way, wouldn't answer when I pointed historical things out, y'know, the first place I made out... in that Nova station wagon up on blocks behind the preschool, the store that my Uncle Starchy fell off of when he was drunk or even the strip club where I was conceived.

We finally got to McDonald's, after stopping at a little corner shop because I'd had a few beers on the porch by the time she finally got to my place, (I swear she's got the shortest legs ever...) anyhoo, she complained that I'd left her outside in a bad neighborhood.
Apparently, she's got this political thing against meat, so we went to Taco Bell and she wasn't happier but I finally got her to eat something, which I even paid for. She's still sulking and I realize that as the man, it's my job to make conversation, so I tell her about the time I picked up roadkill so that I could get "I Mom" tattooed on my left thigh.
Not amused.
I told an Obama joke about the chicken leg in the place of Lady Liberty's torch and she actually went to the bathroom and didn't come back.
So, was the problem that my giant *ssed, dumpster-diving crab ate a cat in front of her or am I just too sexy?

(The above is for entertainment purposes only and should not, under any circumstances be considered factual. Any similarities to real events should be considered your own dumb fault.)

I'm not sure whether they're finished or not... just things that I'm trying to make sense of. The slide mentioned is a playground slide.

Glittersh*t

Some glittering memory lifted from the highway
compress and repress to retrieve and believe at a later date,
I fell to the hope and I fell to the hate
of a hundred glittering dreams that will never be me.
When possibility outruns reason and time
The chances and hopes gather to boggle the mind
Fear seizes the wish and freezes the faith.
Hypothetically astray, a glittersh*t wraith.

A little cabin in the woods, hermit through the winter
Graduate to two wheels, third gen. one percent -er
(in)to the sunset.
Raise a new band and bang out of tune
and be a new man whenever I'm through
just to see what I get.

It's like nothin's ever been every time before
Spinning dreams along the wayside
(I) don't wanna waste life
Afraid to knock on the door
Can't really lose anymore
than the time tickin' into the dark
I'm like a show car
potential sitting in park.

Leper Pizza

I was never what you'd call a model anything
I had a moment, it seems long ago now
A moment for a day
A moment for a year
That I could believe
I may have been deaf and felt the world's symphony
It all seemed so open, just look and perceive

I'm as welcome in the light
as a leper on a slide
I could get blown up tomorrow
But I'm never gonna die
If I wrap myself in sorrow
and I fake a decent cry
It'll be something to follow
Like a star swathed in the night