CONFESSION OF A LADY!!!
...During lunch at work last week, I ate
3 plates of beans (which I know I
... shudn't).
When I got home, my husband seemed
Excited to see me and exclaimed
Delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise
For dinner tonight." He then
Blindfolded me and led me to my chair
At the dinner table. I took a seat and
Just as he was about to remove my
Blindfold, the telephone rang. He made
Me promise not to touch the blindfold
Until he returned and went to answer
The call. The beans I had consumed
Were still affecting me and the pressure
Was becoming unbearable, so while my
Husband was out of the room I seized
The opportunity, shifted my weight to
One leg and let one go. It was not only
Loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck
Running over a skunk in front of a
Garbage dump! I took my napkin from
My lap and fanned the air around me
Vigorously. Then, shifting to the other
Leg, I ripped off three more. The stink
Was worse than cooked cabbage.
Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the
Conversation in the other room, I went
On releasing atomic bombs like this for
Another few minutes. The pleasure was
Indescribable! Eventually the telephone
Farewells signaled the end of my
Freedom, so I quickly fanned the air a
Few more times with my napkin, placed
It on my lap and folded my hands back
On it feeling very relieved and pleased
With myself. My face must have been
The picture of innocence when my
Husband returned, apologizing for
Taking so long. He asked me if I had
Peeked through the blindfold, and I
Assured him I had not. At this point, he
Removed the blindfold, and twelve
Dinner guests seated around the table,
With their hands to their noses,
Chorused: "Happy Birthday