I have ssa, I can't feel for a woman like I can for a man. I don't want to have s~x with him, as the lord restrains me by his holy spirit but He allows me to be close via touch or the new word by bromance. I have a sex drive and I can't desire the female sex as God ordained man to have. Reading the bible prayer does not take the desires away.

"would they rather safely and comfortably remain in the same unhappy place because they are terrified of change and upheaval,"

What a generous opening for this topic. And I might add, is very true.

I fall into this same bracket. I like my solitude, and at times loneliness. I've become used to it. I am used to being the only person in my apartment, even my cat has vacated the premises to a more comfortable position a few doors down. It's difficult to find people that have their own lives, and have the daily/weekly coming together instead of actually living together, kind of like, an independent love affair.

I am a gay male, so the idea of living together does not suit me at all. I dread the thought of having to share my space with someone else. I would be constantly making sure that nothing was moved or God forbid, eaten. It's silly for me to think this way but I am so used to it. Sharing the night with someone is daunting, scary to say the least. I'd have to go to the couch. I don't know how men and women sleep together, I like the idea of a second ante-chamber next door.

When I first got my little kitty, he was a constant disruption to my daily routine. He was always into things and I emptied the water spray bottle. I think he too came to getting used to be sprayed with water. He would just there getting a facial from the bottle. He decided to leave a few years later, he returns to visit and I welcome him with open arms, but then after a few hours of that, he leaves......thank God.

Some of these traits are from our parents. My Mother was telling me one time that she never wanted to get married. It was never her intention to have children. Unusual circumstances changed all that. But she doesn't regret what had happened, but if she could have held her own fate into her own hands, she would have been quite content to have lived alone. I would have taken that from her. Had I never been sexually abused at a young age by an older man, I would probably have no need for sex. But again, unusual circumstances has changed all that.

Marriage is scary. I have seen more divorce then actual happy enduring marriages. I think that most times these things happen because we are quick to judge, and jump to conclusions and we make rash decisions before we ever sit down with our partners and have them explain the whole thing. I think that forgiveness is lacking which the old timers seem to have plenty of. I know I am digressing.

But yes, it's a terrifying notion to have our routines changed. Which makes me want to change. I hate the idea that fear keeps me from something. When I was getting my drivers license, I was told to stay away from a known intersection because there is no light system. The city has tried to install lighting there but it doesn't work. So drivers are left to fend for themselves. Well, during my whole practising, I went there often because I wanted to overcome that fear.

Relationship is probably my final frontier.