Im missin you today....

As I stand on the edge of the end of today,
I smile for the first time in the longest latly
and I know that I gave everything I have in my attempts
to make tomorrow possibly more promising then it's been
I search the skys for my star that I'll wish upon
and say my prayers knowing that Heaven is where Im bound
If I step backwards it's only a step to remind me
that I've been farther behind then I am now so keep trying

Wow....I dont have any other words...but wow

I truly to believe everyday...in my FAITH

I'm nothing that I appear, solid yet scattered in so many ways
the things i've survived are shown by the proof of my change,
I have been in the highest of peaks and to the shallowest areas,
I've been places that I'd never want anyone to become familiar
Confidence in the ability to get through anything Im given now
so greatful to even be alive today after the miracles and trials
I dont think im a victem I know I played my part in all of it
It doesnt make the pain fade pretending it didnt once exsist
I know that some are still walking blindly believing they're alone
all I can say to one who is where I've been is that truth is cold
everyone thinks they know what's best for someone else who's broken
but until the shattered soul is ready nothing said is noticed.
Intentions are good and I know i have heard my share of good advice
but it took Gods love to bring me here and a really long time
to realize who and what I could be besides the wall I hid behind
not everyone is going to learn right way,
they will in their own right...

thank you...lol...

Freestyle ( im in the mood to write ....sorry lol)

I remember this feeling from day's of sneeking glances,
passing note's of yes or no, and akward atempts in passing,
the butterflies that never end and late night converstations,
of anything and everything as long as we could make them...
here I sit and find myself with each emotion i can feel now,
blushing at the thought of you, how much you make me smile
we dont even have a clue about each other like we should
somehow we've found something that almost feels to good.
I dont know if it will last but It's worth it just to feel it
it's you that has me all tied up and I love to love you...really.

Wow....beautiful in all but this section here is very very...you rock mama

very nice

Freestyle....

If i had one wish and only one to make
out of a million things i long for each & every day
It wouldnt even take a momeent for me to speak the words the one thing that would matter more then my own worth
I'm never going to speak this wish outloud in case it doesnt
come true by it always being mentioned.
not from superstition or fear that i'll jinx it,
but the promise that i keep to myself knowing i may get this...
So late at night on a star i think the wish and pray,
to my Heavenly Father for all that he has given me today,
even if i never get the chance to make this wish..
knowing I am loved and love myself is enough
I wish I may I wish i might be given this one prescious thing
I dont assume that anyone is more deserving of this then me
all i can do is keep my faith in God and give my all in life
If it's meant to be then it will be, my silent wishes in the night

wow....i digg it simply ...lol

thanks for reading...it just popped out

thank you....i appriciate you

FreeStyle...

I guess I never realized how easy it would be to find
myself slipping into feelings that I have tried
to keep myself from feeling since it isnt right
to love someone and be falling for another at the same time....
I know my love is real and that it's honestly there
I dont know how to deal with it since i'm still unclear
even though the doors have shut on one It's not fair
to already want another to be who's love I'll share
What am I supposed to do about this ackwardness
that makes me stumble even when there's nothing left
I have no reason to be ashamed of anything but yet
dont know if it's wrong to fall and still belong to him....
if not in all the ways i did before i'm still bound
he's gone and i know that we're pretending somehow
i've never felt i was wrong for loving anyone only doubt
if it bothers me this much it's reason hasn't shown itself...

I miss you a lot today...well everyday but more today...I know you see me...and I wish i could tell you what im feeling even though something inside is telling me you know....Here and now and Always and forever...Just once if i could figure out .....you know....Rest Easy Duke...I love you

Thank you for reading...I appriciate you

Wow.....that was beautiful and desciptive....thank you....also....Thank you ladies for your support...Today was a much better day and Im going out so It gotta be okay hahah....

I know...it's the waiting period of moving on...and being stuck in the in between...the clouds have always passed and that's what keeps me from " drowning" thank you

Right now Im torn in two but unable to mend myself
If limbo were a feeling I'd know it well
No matter what is said or done it's not enough to change
what it is that makes me give in to the sadness and pain
I have tried to make myself get up and just look outside
but the sunshine isnt helping find my strength this time
so back into the shadows of my covers and my tears
until i sleep it off like a hangover several times a year....
Im sorry if i take the hurt i have out on those i love
forgive me i just cant come out until I let it go...