What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
A man's undivided attention.


How is a man like a snowstorm?
Because you don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.


What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A tourist.


Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing.


If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in
convenience stores and drive-through windows.


Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.


Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because they already have boyfriends.


Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed.


Why do men like masturbation?
Its sex with someone they love.


How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.


What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.


Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?


What's the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette?
The porcupine has pricks on the outside.


How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.


What is a man's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.


How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".


Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it.


Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.


Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A.So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.


Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom?
To keep the swelling down

Ok I've had my fun today, I'll play nice now

That's just mean Penny...OK, and pretty darned funny too!

funny stuff - the guys retaliation can not be far behind!

Yeah, their are women jokes on hear all the time, I fugured it was our turn

....very true Penny that brit tears us up alllll the time....lol...touche !!!


~wicked~