no nose biting here

Three blondes died in a car crash trying to jump the Grand Canyon and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St Peter tells them that they can enter the gates only if they can answer one simple religious question. The question posed by St. Peter is "What is Easter"?

The first blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey and are thankful..." "Wrong!, you are not welcome here, I'm afraid. You must go to the other place!" replies St. Peter.

He turns to the second blonde, and asks her the same question: "What is Easter?" The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus."

St Peter looks at the second blonde, bangs his head on the on the pearly gates in disgust and tells her she's wrong and will have to join her friend in the other place. She is not welcome in Heaven.

He then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, "Do YOU know what Easter is"? The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is." "Oh?" says St Peter, incredulously. "Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands and feet. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder." St Peter smiled broadly with delight. The third blonde continued... "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter."

no nose...???
fine I'll take an ear then.....

u can have the ears lol then I wont have to ignor people

yummy !

LMAO, I think I saw this in jokes.
Its still funny a second time though!!

Two holidays in one! Sounds like a good idea to me!

Dear Diary;

Why do people cook crazy big dinners at Easter? And why aren't i invited to any of them?

ugh pass the DAMNITOL.......
my head is pounding today.......

I dont..........
I dont even know what I am making for dinner OR whoz gonna even be here.....

I'm going to grill some Italian sausage

TO PURPLE'S HOUSE!!!!

i might make some burgers later, but its just going to be me eating so nothing crazy big

I'll probebly wind up making pizza , its pretty good ,an I think I have all the ingredients donno if any stores are open to buy anything else

OMG I LOVE PIZZA!

Wait where does purple live? IN CANADA!? grrr, i guess its time to start driving!

ON AN ISLAND IN CANADA , yet floating out in the Pacific Ocean...
its a dessert island ......

I'm tired
I'm thirsty
I'm wild-eyed
In my misery

Timeless in your finery
It's a high price
For your luxury

[Chorus:]
Sorcerer
Who is the master
A man and woman on a star stream
In the middle of a snow dream
Sorcerer
Show me the high life
Come over
Let me put you on ice

All around black ink darkness
And who found lady from the mountains
All around black ink darkness
And who found lady from the mountains
Lady from the mountains

I'm tired
I need you badly
I'm wild-eyed
In my misery

Timeless in your finery
It's a high price
For your luxury

[Chorus]

Canada has islands!? since when!?

Or is that Quebec? O_o

VANCOUVER ISLAND
its off the west coast , North of Seattle
there is also the gulf Islands , Queen Charlotte Islands , lasquiti island ,texada island ,denman island ,PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND.....etc...................
OMG DAMNIT look at a map......... theres LOTS of Canadian islands