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| Topic: OK Ladies you will like this one. | |
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Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.. How many men does it take to tile a bathroom? Two. If you slice them very thinly. What's the quickest way to a man's heart? Straight through the rib cage. Why can't men get mad cow disease? Because they're all pigs. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner? A power failure. What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it. What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? Four guys watching a football game. What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name. What's the difference between Big Foot and intelligent man? Big Foot's been spotted several times. Why did God create man before woman? Because you need a rough draft before creating your masterpiece. Why do jocks play on artificial turf? To keep them from grazing. Why do little boys whine? Because they are practicing to be men. Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg? Because not one will stop and ask for directions. What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder to "Instruction Manuals". What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted. What did God say after creating man? "I can do better." What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention. Why do men name their penises? Because they want to be on a first name basis with the one who makes their decisions. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? a) One. Men will screw anything. b) One. Men will screw up anything. c) Five. One to do the screwing, and four to listen to him brag about it. d) One. He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. How many men does it take to change the toilet paper roll? Nobody knows - it's never happened. Why are men like laxatives? They can irritate the **** out of you. What do an anniversary, a toilet, and a clitoris have in common? Men always miss them. Why do women fake orgasm? Because men fake foreplay. What does a man call true love? An erection. Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years? He wouldn't ask for directions. Why do men need instant re-plays on TV sports? They forgot what happened 30 seconds ago. Where can you find a man who is truly committed? In a mental hospital. Why did God create man? Because vibrators can't ask you to dance or buy you a drink. How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.  
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Q. What can a lifesaver do for a woman a man can't?
A. Cum in five different flavours....you missed one
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Q. What can a lifesaver do for a woman a man can't? A. Cum in five different flavours....you missed one
loving that one!!!! yours are good as well tom
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I love it!
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