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Topic: Red Flags while dating................
Cambolaya65's photo
Sun 03/16/08 01:49 AM
#9 "he' thinks vagina is a state somewhere.....

KalamazooGuy87's photo
Sun 03/16/08 03:00 AM
Edited by KalamazooGuy87 on Sun 03/16/08 03:01 AM
:wink:

BLAKJAQ's photo
Sun 03/16/08 07:13 AM
ummmm, eweeeeeeeeeeee. Pass. Pass. Pass.

If he thinks "vagina" is a state, what a maroon.

I understand "red flags" hun. I have recently become the queen of them and am starting to spot them with my friends who happen to be "happily" together.

no photo
Sun 03/16/08 07:14 AM

You watch the red flags glare back at you, but gosh, he’s just so good-looking. So you dismiss them in favor of seeing where the relationship will go. The problem with turning a blind eye to those red flags of a relationship in the making is that eventually they’ll come back to haunt you. You could end up hurt and resentful, even though it was you who could have prevented it. The following are six red flags and warning signals of a doomed relationship. Plus: Are you over your ex?

To find that future partner who you can spend the rest of your life with, dating is necessary to separate the good from the bad, the complementary from the distracting.

Anyone who has ever been on the dating scene knows that you’ll encounter just about every type of guy imaginable.

But one thing’s for sure – the more you date, the more relationship red flags you’re bound to watch fly… and possibly ignore in your pursuit of love.


Unless you’re just in it for a fling or, ignoring red flags isn't the smartest move to make if you’re serious about finding that special someone.

In the end, when you're asking why it all went wrong, it's usually those red flags that were your first indicator to move on.

Find out why the following relationship red flags should have you saying “Next!” when it comes to embarking on a new relationship.


1. He still lives at home
More and more adults are still living at home these days.

So if it’s more common, should it really be considered a relationship red flag?

Yes! Men who still live at home are usually in no hurry to grow up, become independent or financially responsible. Are those the kind of traits you really want in a future partner?

The only time it might be acceptable for a man to still be living at home is if he’s taking care of aging parents or has temporarily fallen on hard times. In these cases, give him a temporary break.

2. He never invites you over
He’s quick to suggest hanging out at your place but never offers up his own digs.

This could clearly be a sign of concealment and should definitely be considered as a relationship red flag.

Maybe his home includes a family he’s not telling you about. Or maybe he's a hopeless slob whose home resembles the aftermaths of a hurricane.

Never inviting you over (or never wanting to be seen in public with you, not giving you contact info, giving you vague answers, etc.) could mean he’s cheating on someone else or it could simply mean that he’s embarrassed of something.

Whatever it is, you want a potential future partner to be open and honest with you about simple things.

3. He’s moving too quickly
Be aware of someone who moves at the speed of light when trying to win you over.

Moving too quickly is usually a sign that he’s uncomfortable being by himself or he’s looking for a woman to help solve his problems.

Asking for intimacy or marriage too quickly or spilling loads of very personal information all point to desperation.

Besides it being unattractive, clinginess and bad judgment are not traits you want a future partner to have.

Be especially wary if he has children he’s too quick to put you ahead of.

4. He constantly talks bad about an ex
He may not like his ex, but there’s no reason he should continue an ongoing verbal assault on her, no matter how sour the relationship went.

Not only is he offering too much information, but it makes him look tacky, resentful and unwilling to take responsibility for his shortcomings in the relationship.

Plus, if your relationship doesn’t work out, would you want him constantly talking bad about you later on?

Be aware of a guy who talks too freely about past relationships or exes in general, especially if it’s all negative. He may be dealing with a heavy load of unresolved anger.

5. Excessive Parental Attachment
It is one thing to love your mother and father, but it’s another thing to have an excessive relationship with them when you’re an adult.

“Excessive” in these terms means “being a mama’s boy,” only having your parents as your friends, letting your parents influence you in every facet of your life, etc. (See related article: Is Your Husband a Mama’s Boy?)

Besides, excessive parental attachment doesn’t bode well in a marriage because he’ll probably put them ahead of you, which will undoubtedly damage your relationship.

6. He’s fresh out of a relationship
Timing can be everything, but when you could potentially get involved in a rebound relationship, it may be time to move on.

While rebound relationships occasionally work out for the best, it’s usually one of the relationship red flags to be very cautious of.

If you’ve been through a break-up, you know that it takes a long time to completely recover.

Chances are if he’s fresh out of a relationship, he’s going through the recovery process, which leaves him little time to completely focus on you. He may also be using you to temporarily fill his loneliness, whether he realizes it or not.

If you do nothing else, at least take heed of these relationship red flags, no matter how great his other attributes may be.

It could be the difference between inevitable heartache and happiness with another man who only flies with the color green.



Although this was written by a woman for women, most of these apply for the men too.

bigsmile




I'm screwed.

BLAKJAQ's photo
Sun 03/16/08 07:17 AM
Nope not screwed, laugh laugh laugh Just informed now. Gosh, wish this post had been here last year. Could have saved me from a HUGE blunder. How about adding, that if they CANNOT get a license in your home state, you might want to move on?

Fade2Black's photo
Sun 03/16/08 07:47 AM
Edited by Fade2Black on Sun 03/16/08 07:49 AM

i have to disagree with #1.

with the cost of living these days,it can be very hard to make it on your own and not everyone can afford to do it.

i live with my uncle and his fiance because even in this small town,the cost of rent + utilities is way too much for me to pay by myself right now.it's not a permanent thing but if someone thinks i'm a loser because of that than it's their problem,not mine.


I agree JT. Actually my last BF lived with his parents too. Now he had some other issues as well, but I can't judge him for this one.

BUT ... on the other hand, it's fine if you are in your 20's. When you are the 'older woman' with this kind of guy - it's just not fun to hang out with a guy's parents when you have your stuff together & your own lodge. Yanno?


List was pretty good though drinker

Important thing is not to ignore whatever YOUR 'red flags' are. Cuz then you are more emotionally invested and it hurts more when you decide you can't deal with them.


creativesoul's photo
Sun 03/16/08 09:26 AM
Edited by creativesoul on Sun 03/16/08 09:30 AM
Dragoness.. flowerforyou

How are you?

Great topic!!!

Red flags, to me, are displayed most noticably by that which causes unneccessary emotional turbulance... within either of the people, by either of the two.

When in a relationship, it is my opinion, based upon my relationships of past, that there are certain things which will not be completely agreed upon. Those things should be an indicator of a flag, not necessarily the source, but just of. Compromises will have to be made upon some levels, usually. There are some things that may not ever be agreed upon. THAT should be the focus. The things that two cannot or will not ever see eye-to-eye on must be accepted as such, without the harboring of resentment following such acceptance... agree to disagree, if it is possible.

Now then, depending upon the severity of the difference(s) of opinion and/or belief this acceptance may not be possible...

Those things will inevitably lead to either a less fulfilling relationship, or an eventual split... Address those concerns early... before it grows beyond the ability to ignore or deny their existance.

The most important thing in my opinion, is that each of the two can truly recognize and love who the other is... and the love is of the supportive and nurturing type, as there is no other kind...

My thoughts...flowerforyou

Dragoness's photo
Sun 03/16/08 09:35 AM

Dragoness.. flowerforyou

How are you?

Great topic!!!

Red flags, to me, are displayed most noticably by that which causes unneccessary emotional turbulance... within either of the people, by either of the two.

When in a relationship, it is my opinion, based upon my relationships of past, that there are certain things which will not be completely agreed upon. Those things should be an indicator of a flag, not necessarily the source, but just of. Compromises will have to be made upon some levels, usually. There are some things that may not ever be agreed upon. THAT should be the focus. The things that two cannot or will not ever see eye-to-eye on must be accepted as such, without the harboring of resentment following such acceptance... agree to disagree, if it is possible.

Now then, depending upon the severity of the difference(s) of opinion and/or belief this acceptance may not be possible...

Those things will inevitably lead to either a less fulfilling relationship, or an eventual split... Address those concerns early... before it grows beyond the ability to ignore or deny their existance.

The most important thing in my opinion, is that each of the two can truly recognize and love who the other is... and the love is of the supportive and nurturing type, as there is no other kind...

My thoughts...flowerforyou


Creative, I am good, and excellent addition to the earlier information.flowerforyou

creativesoul's photo
Sun 03/16/08 09:51 AM
Good, I am happy to hear that you are good... flowerforyou

Concerning your OP...


One who has nothing to hide... hides nothing...

The 'just out of a relationship without proper processing' is suspect to be emotionally dangerous to the one looking to fill the void created by the absence of a loved one.

Misplaced emotions can wreak havoc upon an innocent situation, in a vast amount of ways...

One's heart must be healed, or the eyes will foster those unresolved issues resurgance into the mind, only to be regurgitated through one's mouth, unaccordingly so at times...

Commonly called 'baggage'... :wink:


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