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Community > Jokes & Funny Stories

Topic: "THINGS TO PONDER"
TxsGal3333 Joined Tue 09/05/06 Posts: 76461	Sat 12/30/06 11:30 PM
Can you cry under water? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why does a round pizza come in a square box? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What disease did cured ham actually have? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why! didn't he just buy dinner? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did you just try singing the two songs above? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

mimi420 Joined Thu 11/30/06 Posts: 453	Sat 12/30/06 11:44 PM
I wondered about alot of that myself. My hubby asked me why is it called taking a dump when you are actully leaving it?!? LMAO

TxsGal3333 Joined Tue 09/05/06 Posts: 76461	Sat 12/30/06 11:51 PM
LMAO, ohhh how true lol

Gryphyn Joined Sat 10/28/06 Posts: 3031	Sun 12/31/06 11:15 AM
How did they get the fly into the Flywheel? How many men does it take to make a Manifold? And how many times do you fold him to fit him in it? If your RETIRED does that mean you were a tire in a previous life? Why do they call it a Funny Bone, it always hurts when I hit mine! To many imponderables for one day. G

PublicAnimalNo9 Joined Mon 09/04/06 Posts: 6278	Sun 12/31/06 11:49 AM
If yogurt goes bad, how can you tell? What makes the teflon stick to the pan? Why do they call 'em buildings when they're already done building them? Why does a man have nipples and no TITS? Does a plumber put a faucet on the wall with no pipe? Why does the contract to build the space shuttle go to the lowest bidder?

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