When my last relationship ended I had to take off out of the house quickly (it was his house I was living in), and left everything of mine that didn't fit into my backpack. After him being given a list he has since brought partial amounts of my stuff twice. He reported to his attorney last week that he doesn't think there's any of my belongings left in the house, but of course there are.

For cryin' out loud, I don't know how four pairs of women's shoes that were out in the open can be mistaken for his, nor not there (they were surely there when I left). There are other things too, like a space heater, a pair of expensive scissors (that don't belong to me, but are a friend's) and a lamp, and these things can have a value put on them if per chance they've irrmiraculously gone "missing".

The thing is, I had left an oil pastel painting I had made. I've had this painting over 10 years now. I've cherished it because while I do some kinds of art/crafts well this was the only oil pastel piece I did that was lovely. And while I think it's beautiful I know it's not a show piece. In other words, it's not something I thought was valuable enough to be taken to an art evaluator and have evaluated.

So my dilemma is -- given I've been pushed to my limit with this trying to get ALL of my belongs back (it's been 2.5 months now) I'm going to send a communication to his attorney putting a dollar value so the items can be replaced, but I don't know what value to put on the painting.

Lol...and since y'all can't see it it'd be hard for any of you to put a value on it, obviously, but what I'm asking is for you, given the above information, to put yourselves in my shoes and imagine what you'd do in the situation.

Since there's a restraining order on him I can't just go into the home without law enforcement to accompany me. I've been trying to avoid this so as not to make any more of a scene at his house than has to be necessary. It's a very small town. Just the RO was the source of much gossip I've come to find out...and I do not like to be the source of gossip to an extreme.

His attorney is presently petitioning me to change the RO from a Domestic Abuse one to a Harrasement one, this so the guy can get back his $30,000 firearms collection the judge ordered him to relinquish to law enforcement. I'm not even going to entertain that idea until I have my belongings back or have been financially compensated for them. Period. That the guy is saying there's nothing else of mine in his house I don't know how else to respond but to be financially compensated.

So, please, imagine yourselves in my position...what would you do about the painting?

And, just so you know, telling me I should just cut my losses isn't going to fly. You can tell me that I suppose, and it would be one option, but it is not an option as far as I'm concerned. I will be somehow compensated if he can't manage to find it...and I have communicated to him exactly where it's at.

BTW, the guy is not without financial means and can more than afford such financial compensation. Also, I don't want anything more than is due to me. I'm not out to screw him.

Your input/advice please...

I owuld put a ridiculously high amount on the painting since it is priceless to you... you never know, might ,make it suddenly "appear"

Get your own lawyer and fight back, you have every right to fight back.

had all my stuff taken out of storage and who knows what hes done with it.pictures,grandma's letters,diplomia,furnture,clothes collection of laser discs jerk rather avoid the situation rather that be adult and discuss it

PUT A HIGH PRICE ON IT AND TELL HIS LAWYER YOU'LL CHANGE THE ORDER OF PROTECTION WHEN AND IF YOU RECEIVE EVERYTHING THAT BELONGED TO YOU OR JUST COMPENSATION . NO OTHER DEAL WILL WORK ! IF HE WANTS HIS GUNS BACK HE'LL DO IT .

Sounds like a mess

price things out, to either actual value or if its priceless, pick any price...send it to his laywer, along with a note, u want everything back, and if its not acessable, then the money, only when u have everything back or compensation, will u change the order of protection. fight back..i mean he wants his gun collection back, u want ur stuff...it should just be a fair trade that way...

You know.......I left alot of stuff when I left my ex.......and 20 years ago maybe that same stuff would have meant alot to me.......but its just stuff.......the real important stuff, like your life, is what counts!

I don't know what to tell you but ladies listen up. Not all the guys are like that. My wife is still in the house, I went and bought another one far away, and I am making the payments. I haven't divorced her yet because she wouldn't have any health insurance and I take care of my daughter, not complaining about that; she is my sunshine but those are the facts. Of course I'm not 6 foot tall, a jock, a bad boy, etc. the kind you gals all think you need. Just one of the good guys. Enough said.

I already have my flippin' life, and I want my stuff, too. There's not a good reason in the world why I shouldn't have my belongings.

Apparently you didn't get my vibe when I wrote I cherished this painting. It is indeed a "real important" thing to me.

Discuss it with your lawyer. Your lawyer should be able to give you an idea of what a reasonable price would be for the sentimental value of the lost painting. I'd think the higher the price you come up with the better. Your ex will probably want to lower it and a judge will pick a middle number.

Why do people always want to keep other peoples things...
It is so childish.
Get a lawyer,or take the police with you and get your stuff.
Never deal with just his lawyer- that is how you get screwed.
(excuse my language)

One of my roommates whose seen the picture suggested $1,000. Seems high to me, but... at least I could get some new supplies and take some art classes then! And really, that's just $100 a year for each year I had it, at least that's what I was considering while I've been at work since posting this.

And yes, I know he wants his firearms back like crazy, they're worth a lot of money much less that he appears to have an emotional attachment to them...believe it or not. Hell, it wasn't even my idea to have them removed from him, it was all the judge. When the judge ordered them to be relinquished my stomach dropped into my shoes because I knew it was going to end up being problematic, at best. The guy failed to show up for the hearing...not bright.

I hate like the ****ens though to be so...in his face about it. Really, I'm a decent and nice person, and I really don't like confrontation, but I even less like being jacked around...especially under the ridiculous circumstances.

I will be going for it. And as one poster suggested about getting a lawyer -- I'm responding to his attorney tomorrow, calling the court, and looking for an attorney.

Bottom line is, I'm not sitting for waiting around for him to get off his lazy ass any longer. No more of me giving him the benefit of the doubt. My doubt is no longer, the writing is fully on the wall. That writing says I have the upperhand in this situation.

I do very much thank you all for you time. Any other suggestions are welcome.

you want the painting and he wants the gun collection.As long as he hasn't threatened to shoot you with said guns I would use his desire to get them back as leverage to get the painting and whatever else you want even if its his stuff

If you can prove you lived there...ie, you had mail sent to the house...that's all you need to prove residence.... you can call the police and set a time for you to go into the house and retrieve your things...as long as he has not destroyed them.

I am an educated woman, I may've made a poor decision by moving too fast and trusting the guy in the first place, but I am educated and shrewd when it comes to dealing with others, like good ole boy attorneys, who think they can take advantage of "the little lady".

This attorney after a number of emails between the two of us, and his having a manipulative approach with me (which I saw through, like I have exray vision... } is now talking about "balancing my comfort" with his client's need to get his firearms back. Heehee...I like that one, balancing my comfort... .

Trust me, lovey, I'm not going to be getting screwed.

My goodness, that piece of censoring just made me laugh so hard!

The first letter is a d, the second an i, the third a c, and the fourth a k. Add those together with the en and it's a totally acceptable word.

Too funny.

Cut your losses....just be happy he is out of your life and get on with it. The only one who will win is the lawyers

hottpinkilicious, like I said, cutting my losses is not an option. There's not a single reason why I should. And I seriously doubt I'll even need an attorney. I'll be looking for one, but I don't think it'll be necessary given the communication I'll be sending his attorney tomorrow. I know this guy, he's not likely to even bat an eyelash over handing over money for the belongings. He may be finding the painting and other belongings with swift speed, but if he's torched them or something, which I don't find likely, he'll just compensate me. Really, money is not a problem for him.

The only reason this hasn't been resolved sooner is because I've been being a "nice guy". I'm not going to start being mean, so to speak, but I'm not messin' around with this any longer.