I have this friend, I'll save his face by just calling him Chet. Okay Chet has been my best friend sense 1st grade, thick and thin he's been there, but Chet has one flaw. He is by far one of the biggest perverts mankind has ever known.

So anyway, about 9 years back we are in Burger King, "Chet" excuses himself from the table and goes to the rest room. Myself and our other friends continue our meals if you want to call them that. Okay "chet" has been gone for awhile, I mean at this point we thought he was just really sick, we was all ready to go and he was still in the rest room.

So my friend that we shall call "hawk" goes in with me to check on him, there's Chet standing in front of the mirror, belt tied around his neck masturbaiting. I instantly start to laugh, so hard I'm crying "Hawk" on the other hand trys to get the belt off his neck. "Chet" begins running around the rest room, ****-a-dooodle still in hand, trying his hardest to finish.

All this is going on, by this time, I have fell back into the hall way out of the restroom, I'm sobbing I'm laughing so hard. well it's late and the place is getting ready to close. The girl who had to clean the rest rooms, asked me if anyone was in there. Me in all my honesty had to say "No" then just walk away trying not to fall over laughing.

Next thing you hear is the girl open the door, you hear " Hawk" yelling c'mon "chet" this isnt cool, then in a chorus of three voices you hear "Ohhhhhhhhhh!!" "chet" finally got his load of the ground, but in the run around teh rest room, his love glue had busted open on the girl who just opened the door.

5 states away, there is tell that you could hear a man laughing, that would be me. I thought they was going to jail for sure, I had already made my way to the car, had it running and was about to split, but I never see "Hawk" or "Chet" running out of BK. I peak back in the window and the three of them are just laughing. it was surreal.

Last sunday "Chet" Married his BK girl" it's gotta last, any relationship with a great story always lasts and as the best man you know I shot them with a penis squirt gun filled with milk during the wedding. I still can't believe this.

Wow!!!

This story is totally believable and well written.

funny but true erm lol

ah hahahahahaha! WTF?!

Wow.

Wow, maybe I should try masturbating on a stranger.

and to think,i thought me and my friends are sick.....but this takes the cake!

my advise just fling your load like monkey dung on everyone, somebody I guess will think its funny.

weird fact though, I read woman get themselves wet and dip their fingers in their nector and use it as a perfume. the study said it actually works, the woman who did it would get hit on triple the amount of times the women who didnt did, in the same bar on the same nights, then they would switch same effects this time the other girls.

so if a guy shot some knuckle children onto himself,then would he get hit on more?

Lol, knuckle children.

or the skin flute

actually, if a man can go with out masturbaiting for close to a month, his sent and natural essence is multiplied, thus attracting more women.

Or just take the easy way, use tide, downey a lot, and a mild colone. way easier than going a month.

okay i have 2 questions

1.how many guys really go looking for their friends if they take to long in the bathroom?

2. would you guys really want to be with a girl if her neck smelled like kitty??..i would think its from lack of bathing personally

I'm sorry... when you said "kitty" I was really confused and picturing someone trying to rub a cat on their neck. I think it's getting close to time for me to go to bed, I'm not making sense anymore

never leave a man behind Hoo-Yay!!
and yes pooter smells good.

Excuse me ms I just had to ask. What cologne is that you're wearing? Why its vagifluid!

Why its called "box".

Why its called "taco femme".

Why its called "fingerbange".

cat's meow?