Topic: Help me please...
mry's photo
Mon 02/25/08 07:41 AM

Let those that are PERFECT,pass judgement.
I won't judge.
Lady ask for help & opinions.
I have made lots of mistakes in my life, sometimes needed some help to sort stuff out.
Be nice.flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou


God thank you Sage! flowerforyou

mry's photo
Mon 02/25/08 07:42 AM

Why does it have to be so complicated? If the former boyfriend likes you it is excusable what he did. He just wants to know if you're "nasty" and up to no good if you know what I mean. Be a one man woman - make up your mind, and give yourself completely to one. :smile: :smile:


You see I am a one man kind of woman...I just can't figure out which one I belong with...

Silntstrnger's photo
Mon 02/25/08 07:43 AM
didnt u already make that decision when u told ur ex u would reenter a relationship with him? i just think there is just alot of dishonesty in that whole situation.

oldsage's photo
Mon 02/25/08 07:45 AM
Have to disagree o the one man woman thing.
I have many MARRIED lady friends; many single lady friends.
We have conversations that are just between us.
Key word FRIENDS.
Mry can judge that matter for her self.
Not for us to judge.

Gentleman (?) friend had NO RIGHT, to access hermail w/o permission.

Mail is mail, letters or electronic.
PRIVATE.

shoes4rhon's photo
Mon 02/25/08 07:45 AM
Justification of dishonesty does not make it right .. I am not judging you but if you want a grown up relationship and a real one you will have to be open and honest is all I am saying .. you are self sabatoging so in my mind there is something going on that makes you feel you are not worthy of the real deal.. get rid of that thinking .. brokenheart

Derekkye's photo
Mon 02/25/08 07:46 AM


Why does it have to be so complicated? If the former boyfriend likes you it is excusable what he did. He just wants to know if you're "nasty" and up to no good if you know what I mean. Be a one man woman - make up your mind, and give yourself completely to one. :smile: :smile:


You see I am a one man kind of woman...I just can't figure out which one I belong with...

go with the one that you think you least likely belong with - opposite of intuition, and just maybe the unliklihood of spending the rest of your lives together will come to fruition - i dont know - the world is a messed up place grumble grumble

mry's photo
Mon 02/25/08 07:48 AM



Why does it have to be so complicated? If the former boyfriend likes you it is excusable what he did. He just wants to know if you're "nasty" and up to no good if you know what I mean. Be a one man woman - make up your mind, and give yourself completely to one. :smile: :smile:


You see I am a one man kind of woman...I just can't figure out which one I belong with...

go with the one that you think you least likely belong with - opposite of intuition, and just maybe the unliklihood of spending the rest of your lives together will come to fruition - i dont know - the world is a messed up place grumble grumble



LOL, Had you married me that day, I wouldnt be in this situation.laugh

Silntstrnger's photo
Mon 02/25/08 07:50 AM
Not judging her and i am sorry if she feels i am.

mry's photo
Mon 02/25/08 07:52 AM

Not judging her and i am sorry if she feels i am.


I know, and I wanted all opinions to figure this out...good and bad. flowerforyou

Derekkye's photo
Mon 02/25/08 07:52 AM




Why does it have to be so complicated? If the former boyfriend likes you it is excusable what he did. He just wants to know if you're "nasty" and up to no good if you know what I mean. Be a one man woman - make up your mind, and give yourself completely to one. :smile: :smile:


You see I am a one man kind of woman...I just can't figure out which one I belong with...

go with the one that you think you least likely belong with - opposite of intuition, and just maybe the unliklihood of spending the rest of your lives together will come to fruition - i dont know - the world is a messed up place grumble grumble



LOL, Had you married me that day, I wouldnt be in this situation.laugh

Sorry I cant give you better advice - single folks aren't the best for relationship advice.
Had we got married I would have read your e-mail. laugh laugh laugh laugh

mry's photo
Mon 02/25/08 07:53 AM





Why does it have to be so complicated? If the former boyfriend likes you it is excusable what he did. He just wants to know if you're "nasty" and up to no good if you know what I mean. Be a one man woman - make up your mind, and give yourself completely to one. :smile: :smile:


You see I am a one man kind of woman...I just can't figure out which one I belong with...

go with the one that you think you least likely belong with - opposite of intuition, and just maybe the unliklihood of spending the rest of your lives together will come to fruition - i dont know - the world is a messed up place grumble grumble



LOL, Had you married me that day, I wouldnt be in this situation.laugh

Sorry I cant give you better advice - single folks aren't the best for relationship advice.
Had we got married I would have read your e-mail. laugh laugh laugh laugh


And if we were married I would have let you...:wink:

TxsGal3333's photo
Mon 02/25/08 07:53 AM
Well first of all trust is something that is a must for any relationship to make it. Once that trust is broken as far as I'm concerned the field is wide open to find out what the other person is up to.

Yes normally an ex is and ex for a reason. You see I was in a similar situation but........... I went through his e-mail why because he broke the trust issue. He started shutting down his computer each time he went outside to smoke. Started acting strange when I walked in the room and would change his screens at times. Here the man lived with me and I did not have a problem with him having friends even female as long as it was on a friends basis. That is all mine was and were his should remain too. But noooooooooooooo he crossed that line and started talking to them past a friends level. Sorry that is not right no matter how you look at it.noway grumble

If your in a relationship with someone you should not be talking to anyone else on the same level at least that is my opinion.flowerforyou

I did check his e-mail and did find the lady he was talking to and it was sexually come to find out he had been on the cam with her for he was not working but I did everyday. With that said sorry either your with someone or you play the field I dont' and will not give a man the best of both worlds. It is just as wrong to talk about those things with another over the computer as it is in person.

One can not expect a relantionship to work out if they are not giving 100% themselves.

Funny for this same guy contacted me back almost a year ago and wanted to pick up where we had left off after not seeing him for 2 years. Yeah I still had feelings for him after talking for almost 4 months off and on I agreed to meet him again had a great weekend and all said he still loved me ect. But........ the same pattern was still there he only wanted to talk to be when it was his choice things were not the same so I finally seen it was just what satisfied him it was not really a fully blown relationship he wanted. He was alone and wanted someone to fill that void. Sorry I'm not a fill in would rather be alone.

Myself if your talking to someone in a way over the internet with more in mind then just friends then that is where your attention should lay. You can't have your cake and it eat it to per-say one must make a choice of whom you want to give your 100% attention to. When you spread it thin things blow up in your face.

Sounds like to me he felt that trust was broke and he wanted to know whom had your attention for it seems he did not. So with that said. When one is being dishonest with themselves and another then it leaves the door wide open for them to find out what is going on. Just my opinion.

You see when one is on the other side of the fence we tend to see things in a different light.

Derekkye's photo
Mon 02/25/08 07:56 AM
Hope your former boyfriend doesn't come hunting for me because of our wedding plans. I should be very clear - I WAS JUST KIDDING ABOUT THE MARRIAGE THING - laugh

no photo
Mon 02/25/08 07:56 AM

Everyone is entitled to privacy .. that is true .. but secracy about things from someone that you claim to want a relationship with can be and is a problem.. It seems sort of self sabatoging .. if you want it to work you have to be open for it to work .. I don't like his methodology but the truth is always the best policy.. Are you upset because he snooped or upset cause you got caught , or a combination of the two.. I think you need to own what is yours and let the other go ... just mho
:heart: I agree with this..
And may I add that I would have NO PROBLEM giving my password to someone I was involved with ,,,IF THEY ALSO GAVE ME THEIR'S.
Because I have no secrets and nothing to hide..
If I was doing what you were doing THEY would have been aware of THEM before they FOUND THEM.
I would have told them about the other person writting me, and explained why I am still talking with them.
TO mis-lead in ANYWAY is to NOT be honest with YOUR TRUTH.
And THAT will make YOU lose SOMEONE else if THEY feel LIED TO..

If YOU always speak your TRUTH, you could NEVER be asking THIS question.
And the man in your life if he really cares about you, should understand that HE and YOU are in a trial area right now and it should be ok for you to have ANYONE email you and you back, HELLO...
Your only dating NOT engaged or married..

But for HIM to SNEEK INTO your email IS JUST WRONG, its like a diary, THATS a NO,NO.
But to ASK you if he could, maybe just be HIM checking
your honesty with him, and YOUR reaction to the question..?
Do YOU go through HIS BILFOLD,lol
You might NOW,lol,lolbigsmile

mry's photo
Mon 02/25/08 07:59 AM

Hope your former boyfriend doesn't come hunting for me because of our wedding plans. I should be very clear - I WAS JUST KIDDING ABOUT THE MARRIAGE THING - laugh



LOL, no worries!laugh

mommyof1's photo
Mon 02/25/08 08:03 AM
one question




what does YOUR heart say??? flowerforyou flowerforyou

mry's photo
Mon 02/25/08 08:04 AM

one question




what does YOUR heart say??? flowerforyou flowerforyou


Well, I told my boyfried I would end it with the email guy. However my heart feels heavy about it...

no photo
Mon 02/25/08 08:06 AM

one question




what does YOUR heart say??? flowerforyou flowerforyou
:angry: OH,,,,GREAT,,,NOW I know my problem,,,
grumble grumble MINE can't TALK!!!bigsmile :wink:

All these years I never knew it could speak.:cry: :heart:

bigsmile

mry's photo
Mon 02/25/08 08:07 AM


one question




what does YOUR heart say??? flowerforyou flowerforyou
:angry: OH,,,,GREAT,,,NOW I know my problem,,,
grumble grumble MINE can't TALK!!!bigsmile :wink:

All these years I never knew it could speak.:cry: :heart:

bigsmile


laugh laugh laugh Mine keeps talking and won't shut up!

steelersgirltina's photo
Mon 02/25/08 08:10 AM
I think that you are back in a comfort zone. Just my opinion. As others have said trust is a main issue here. The ex was an ex for a reason. I had trust issues with my ex, told myself and him when you leave your leaving for good!

Keep in mind if your gut is telling you sumin best to listen to it.