Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: Question
foresight Joined Wed 01/09/08 Posts: 721	Sun 02/24/08 07:25 AM
oooooh that sucks. Romanticizing is worse. yea so i feel like she still has feeling for this guy cuz always talking about them and what her sister did to her You can remind her of the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder.." as it also tends to help us forget how situations suck and only think about what could've been... she needs a wake up call about how the guy is NOT with her, hasn't been with her, and obviously cares about the sis, and it's something that she has to deal with... or just give you up.true!

foresight Joined Wed 01/09/08 Posts: 721	Sun 02/24/08 07:25 AM
tell her it hurts you when she talks about him, too... yea i did shes saying sorry to me now

lilith401 Joined Wed 10/31/07 Posts: 19593	Sun 02/24/08 07:25 AM
ok heres the story my gf liked this guy when she was 17 shes 25 now but her sister stole him from her n her sister and the guy has been together for 7 yrs now i feel like she feels like what if that was me so idk Well, how does she talk about him? How often do you see him at family functions? Do you go out with them as a group?

foresight Joined Wed 01/09/08 Posts: 721	Sun 02/24/08 07:28 AM
ok heres the story my gf liked this guy when she was 17 shes 25 now but her sister stole him from her n her sister and the guy has been together for 7 yrs now i feel like she feels like what if that was me so idk Well, how does she talk about him? How often do you see him at family functions? Do you go out with them as a group? hell no i would beat his ass if i ever met him face to face

dysFUNctional Joined Thu 01/10/08 Posts: 258	Sun 02/24/08 07:28 AM Edited by dysFUNctional on Sun 02/24/08 07:32 AM
if ur bf or gf always talked about their ex wouldnt you think they still had feeling for them? Not at all, I was with my ex for 23 years and we have 3 kids together, how can you not talk about him. And it is and was a part of your life so... Are you sure you're not dealing with some confidence or esteem problems? No dys intended. Oh, and it also depends upon the manner in which they are spoken of! Talk with her or him.

PATSFAN Joined Mon 12/10/07 Posts: 42782	Sun 02/24/08 07:28 AM
Yes...

Skinner2 Joined Sat 02/23/08 Posts: 18	Sun 02/24/08 07:29 AM
What are shrinkers for ..... Discuss it with them....perhaps it may lighten the load.....

foresight Joined Wed 01/09/08 Posts: 721	Sun 02/24/08 07:29 AM
What are shrinkers for ..... Discuss it with them....perhaps it may lighten the load..... true

lilith401 Joined Wed 10/31/07 Posts: 19593	Sun 02/24/08 07:30 AM
Well, how does she talk about him? How often do you see him at family functions? Do you go out with them as a group? hell no i would beat his ass if i ever met him face to face Then how does she talk about him?

foresight Joined Wed 01/09/08 Posts: 721	Sun 02/24/08 07:32 AM
Well, how does she talk about him? How often do you see him at family functions? Do you go out with them as a group? hell no i would beat his ass if i ever met him face to face Then how does she talk about him? i mean its not every day but its like wanna does that coulda been me talk know what i mean?

lilith401 Joined Wed 10/31/07 Posts: 19593	Sun 02/24/08 07:33 AM
Well, how does she talk about him? How often do you see him at family functions? Do you go out with them as a group? hell no i would beat his ass if i ever met him face to face Then how does she talk about him? i mean its not every day but its like wanna does that coulda been me talk know what i mean? Nope. If you could explain that'd be great.

bgeorge Joined Fri 09/14/07 Posts: 7850	Sun 02/24/08 07:34 AM
no...i would dump them in a heartbeat...go ahead, try it...walking away is sooooo theraputic

foresight Joined Wed 01/09/08 Posts: 721	Sun 02/24/08 07:35 AM
Well, how does she talk about him? How often do you see him at family functions? Do you go out with them as a group? hell no i would beat his ass if i ever met him face to face Then how does she talk about him? i mean its not every day but its like wanna does that coulda been me talk know what i mean? Nope. If you could explain that'd be great. ok say if we were going out and i call you and say my brother n his gf does so much stuff n she treats him so well you'll be like well why are you so worried about them see how the girl shes talking to is my ex that she stole

foresight Joined Wed 01/09/08 Posts: 721	Sun 02/24/08 07:36 AM
no...i would dump them in a heartbeat...go ahead, try it...walking away is sooooo theraputic i luv her we're surpose to get married in 3 months i cant just walk off i just wanna know how she really feels before we take that leap

foresight Joined Wed 01/09/08 Posts: 721	Sun 02/24/08 07:38 AM
Well, how does she talk about him? How often do you see him at family functions? Do you go out with them as a group? hell no i would beat his ass if i ever met him face to face Then how does she talk about him? i mean its not every day but its like wanna does that coulda been me talk know what i mean? Nope. If you could explain that'd be great. ok say if we were going out and i call you and say my brother n his gf does so much stuff n she treats him so well you'll be like well why are you so worried about them see how the girl shes talking to is my ex that she stole hope that helped

lilith401 Joined Wed 10/31/07 Posts: 19593	Sun 02/24/08 07:38 AM
Well... I have to say that it sounds like she is holding YOU to whatever standards she has for a guy. That you can not live up to what he imagines him to be like, based on what her sister says. I'd have to say she is seems to be behaving in a way that indicates she is not ready for a relationship... any healthy one that is. You are you, not him. Are you prepared to stay second best to a fantasy?

dysFUNctional Joined Thu 01/10/08 Posts: 258	Sun 02/24/08 07:39 AM
ok heres the story my gf liked this guy when she was 17 shes 25 now but her sister stole him from her n her sister and the guy has been together for 7 yrs now i feel like she feels like what if that was me so idk Well, how does she talk about him? How often do you see him at family functions? Do you go out with them as a group? hell no i would beat his ass if i ever met him face to face Is she really worth picking up another charge for?

foresight Joined Wed 01/09/08 Posts: 721	Sun 02/24/08 07:39 AM
if ur bf or gf always talked about their ex wouldnt you think they still had feeling for them? Not at all, I was with my ex for 23 years and we have 3 kids together, how can you not talk about him. And it is and was a part of your life so... Are you sure you're not dealing with some confidence or esteem problems? No dys intended. Oh, and it also depends upon the manner in which they are spoken of! Talk with her or him.

Jistme Joined Wed 10/31/07 Posts: 2991	Sun 02/24/08 07:39 AM
People have different reasons to talk about these things. Sometimes it is relative to something current. Sometimes they are just processing. Sometimes it is due to unresolved feelings... Analyzing her motives is a sign of something out of order in me.. not her. I don't take it personally, myself. If I did.. I would think I was not too secure in the relationship.. Regardless of what she is talking or not talking about. That is my issue, not hers. So.. My significant other can express herself how ever she feels necessary with me.

foresight Joined Wed 01/09/08 Posts: 721	Sun 02/24/08 07:40 AM
Well... I have to say that it sounds like she is holding YOU to whatever standards she has for a guy. That you can not live up to what he imagines him to be like, based on what her sister says. I'd have to say she is seems to be behaving in a way that indicates she is not ready for a relationship... any healthy one that is. You are you, not him. Are you prepared to stay second best to a fantasy? dude thats what i told her and she got mad and started crying i really like you lol