Some of you may know who I am by some of the posts and replies.
I am in dire need of advice and most likely help.
I met this wonderful, caring man on the site...And honestly thought that I was ready for that new chapter in my life.But it happened again........It...My issue, my problem, my condition...I was finally able to pinpoint it after pretty much 30 years of devastating, meaningless relationships. It is called Fear of Abandonment...And also Abando-phobism...If any of you out there deal or have dealt with this, please feel free to give me your insights, I 'll take all the help I can possibly get right now. I want to address it and be able to moe on without hurting someone else or/and myself.
Thank you in advance.

Abando-phobism! you have just named my next band!!

Are you afraid you will be abandoned?

After being married for 16+ years, and now single for 6 all I can say is that it is tough! It's like getting too close can leave you vulnerable...Scarey....

Duh

Xanex?

In a way yes I am afraid that I will be abandonned. So I tend to get clingy and needy........A pain in other words. Some guys will run away in a heartbeat....Some will stick around but when they do I don't know how to handle it and I pull away.....I know, "messed up" is what come to mind.....So , once again, any advice is welcome. Thanks

Ever hear of self-fulfilling prophecy?

So you are afraid of being abandoned so you abandon the relationship. If you are afraid of the water, why did you get in the boat?

Go seek professional help.

worked for me short term.

Sure did.

Sure did.

good luck sweetheart

Codependency issues are tough to address and should be addressed by a real clinical psychologist france, not the internet. Don't be a self abuser. You're better than that.

I'm not joking or being sarcastic -- you might really think about sitting down and talking to a therapist. Anti-anxiety medicine might not be appropriate since, from at least what you've said, your anxiety is limited to this one instance.. But they're best able to help you get over this. It's going to take some time, and will involve you really delving into what's caused this to develop and you coming up with a plan to get over it. It can be done!

Good.. From the sounds of it. That is what you are doing.
Your fears dictate your fate.

How do you suppose you stop that?

mabe you should going into the relation with the fact that you are in one. then deal with that abandon issue as you go. maybe you dwelling on that fact keeps you from having a lasting relationship. everybody has some one leave them, hopefully you'll find some one who will stay, good luck.

I felt that way too, but just take things slow, you should be fine! (I am with kayak69) just go slow! it will be fine!

You could benifit by getting some counseling Hun.
Anytime a phobia interfers with living life fairly normal...
it is time to get help.

I am willing to do get help. I have no problem with doing so now that I know what it is. Thank you for your advice.