Topic: Theory on Hell
mtnguy's photo
Fri 12/15/06 11:20 AM
Edited by mtnguy on Fri 12/15/06 11:20 AM
Theory On Hell

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term:

"Is Hell exothermic [gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Support your answer with a proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or
some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we
need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they
are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that
exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are
not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are
more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to
Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number
of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order
for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities.

1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese
Banyan during my Freshman year "That it will be a cold night in Hell
before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still
have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then (2) cannot
be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic.

The student got the only A.

no photo
Fri 12/15/06 11:23 AM
proof? who the hell would have proof? I doubt that it matters because if
you go you will be absorbing theheat and the heat is never ending so
what's the whole point to the theory?

no photo
Fri 12/15/06 11:36 AM
cool joke tho