Topic: Special sauce with that?
no photo
Wed 02/13/08 11:53 PM
I have a little problem I need some help with.

My ex and I are friends (to a point) because we have a
10 year old son and an 11 year old daughter. So we have
remained friends for them.

I have custody of my son, she has custody of my daughter.
The kids are never split up and spend 4 days a week at my
home, one week and 4 days with her the next week.

So, my ex-wife called me tonight from a restaurant.
She wanted me to come and eat supper with them. I told
her No, absolutley NOT! But then she puts my 10 year
old son on the cell phone and he starts asking me to
join them.

I'm thinking to myself, shes an evil $^&@#!
So I get back on the phone with her, tell her I will,
ONLY so the children don't think I don't want to spend
time with them and then I go.

We eat dinner, everything is fine. Talking about school
and things that are going on with the kids that day. We
get up to leave and walk out to the cars. My son comes
and gives me a big hug, my daughter runs up and gives me
a big hug, like always and then, my ex comes over and I'm
thinking "uhh RUT ROE SHAGGY!" Hopefully she wants a
friendly hug and thats it.

She throws her arms around me and gives me a hug, then
follows it up with a big kiss. Then to top it off she
grabs something, she has no business grabbing anymore.

I brush her off, get in my Durango and leave...
On my way home I start thinking about my kids, and what
they must think. So I call her up when I get home.

Whats that all about?
She tells me she still loves me, yadda yadda yadda but
no she isn't having second thoughts and no she doesn't
want, what she has already had her hands on tonight.

So, ok, now I'm completely stumped. Do I make matters worse
and argue with her (which will only make things tougher on
the kids) or do I let her keep it up? (No pun intended)

Ladies, why would she do that in the first place, then
play it cool afterwards? My ex isn't a dog, she can get
a date any night she wants and I'm pretty sure she is
seeing someone. So whats up?

Moondark's photo
Wed 02/13/08 11:55 PM
Have no clue. But when it comes down to it, that was totally inappropriate in the first, but doubly so in front of the kids.

no photo
Wed 02/13/08 11:56 PM
She was horny......devil

lonelyshorty's photo
Wed 02/13/08 11:56 PM
You need to tell her that your not interested and that you are only friends with her b/c of the kids

fall2grace's photo
Wed 02/13/08 11:56 PM
playin two side of the coin - she wants somethin maybe not this minute but beware she wants something from you

juscheckinitout's photo
Wed 02/13/08 11:57 PM
Sounds to me like she wanted some and when you gave her the brush off she was embarrassed. She probably thought you were a safe bet...got her feelings hurt and now is playin it cool.

no photo
Thu 02/14/08 12:05 AM
We have had the whole, just friends arguement.
Quite a few times in the past. She knows I'm not interested.
I even go as far as, refusing to go to her home to pick up
my children. We always meet somewhere, or she drops them
off.

If she wants something, well I don't know what exactly.
We have been to court, and its done deal. As far as I'm
concerned. hmm thanks for the advice.

no photo
Thu 02/14/08 12:07 AM

Have no clue. But when it comes down to it, that was totally inappropriate in the first, but doubly so in front of the kids.


The kids were on the other side of my Durango, but they did
see her kiss me.

no photo
Thu 02/14/08 09:15 AM
stand your ground and expect to keep doing it until the kids are grown up. This woman is manipulating you and using the kids as an advantage.
It sucks, but its there, dont argue, that just gives her what she wants, bad attention is better than no attention.
Practice patience and kindness for the mother of your children, but keep your boundaries and keep reinforcing them with her. when she uses the children like she did for dinner, say no and then explain it to your kids in a language they can understand that its not about them but you just dont have time to spend with their mom.

Gonna be tough, I feel for you dude,
hang in there.
Cheers
ohwell

rochelle1263's photo
Thu 02/14/08 09:06 PM
I agree with the Person above me . Stand your ground . She is messing with yous and the childrens heads Please dont let her manipulate you .

no photo
Thu 02/14/08 11:47 PM
After we talked tonight Rochelle, guess who showed up. :angry:

Naa I'm alright, I'm stronger than I look. 18 years of
pure hell and I'm ok. I'm a lot wiser now, then I was
when she was in my life. Things are alot better now also.
At home and with my kids.

Thanks for the support and good advice.