Silently I watch,
as voratious claws eagerly strip the meat from my heart and gnashing teeth pulverize the bones of my soul.
Anger overwhelms me;
As hope looses meaning,
I lash out against the futility of it all and tear the remaining stars from the fabric of my sky.

very nice

Very emotional.

Ponchopollito...

Welcome, and sorry if I have mispelled
your screen name! Haha. I love this piece..one of
the best I have spotted so far. A little bit
of crit, though..try putting your poem into better stanzas,
it's a bit blocky. Try this:


"Silently I watch as
voratious claws eagerly strip
the meat from my heart and
gnashing teeth pulverize the
bones of my soul.
Anger overwhelms me;
As hope loses meaning,
I lash out against the futility of it all
and tear the remaining stars
from the fabric of my sky."

This is the best I could revise it..
I'd have to look at it longer for better work.
I love this piece and the imagery within it..great job,
and keep writing..Can't wait to see some more work!

-Lozer<3

Same direction I was gonna suggest, nice re-write

hope to see more writting is a good release