Little Johnny is sitting in class one day and puts up his hand saying,"Yo! Teach...I gotta go piss!"
Teacher says'" We DON'T Talk like that in this class young man! Now use the appropriate word and i'll let you go!"
Johnny gets that "deer in the headlight look" and asks what the right word is.
"Urinate!" says the teacher.

Johnny sits there thinking for four minutes then puts up his hand again. Teacher notices and asks if he can use the right word now, to which he says "Yes!"

"okay, let me hear it!" she says to Johnny.

"Okay, right now urinate, but if you had bigger tits you'd be a ten! - can I go piss now?"

Little jonnie comes home from school one day with a letter from his teacher and gives it to his mom.

His mom looks at the letter, and starts screaming at him, "You had sex in school today, what were you thinking. Wait till i tell you father about this. Go upstairs and wait for him."

Father comes home, jonnies mom hands him the letter, "this is what your son was up to today, you need to go upstairs and discipline him right now"

Father goes upstairs, closes the door to jonnies room, and says "Jonnie, you got laid today, thats my boy. Good for you. But just for the record tell your mom im pissed and you are grounded for a week. sorry little man, but i am proud of ya."

Next day father comes home, rushes up to little jonnies room. He’s all psyched, wants to see if his boy got some ass today. "So jonnie, you get laid today or what? Did my boy get some ass?"

Jonnie replies "No dad, i really wanted too. But my ass is still SORE from yesterday"