Seems to me that making the transition from online introduction to a relationship that flows naturally is difficult. There is always so much urgency in getting to know someone right away to determine if you are spending your time with the right person. It seems that the "meeting" becomes more of an inquisition and that it is tainted from the beginning because of each of you having had some "bad" experiences in the past. Anyone out there who has successfully made this transition and has been able to perpetuate a "real" communication and discovery with someone they met online? How did you do it? How did you get past the "surreal" and get to the "real"?

I've done it on a few occasions. The common factor in both was that we didn't rush to meet in real life...we continued talking online until it was convenient for both of us to meet. The actual meet-up occurred in the context of plans that we both already had (i.e. I was heading out in Philly with friends, so was she...so we met up). This took a lot of pressure off things so we were both relaxed knowing that our friends were there to hang out with in case things went terrible with the girl, haha.
Both times, too, I've had time either that night or soon afterwards to have one-on-one time with the girl to be able to speak with her and get a sense of her personality offline.
Once you both realize that you're both just people, it becomes a lot more relaxed and the pressure dissipates.

well,I never had anything serious come out of this site...such
as meeting a LT mate.
but,I have made quite a few friends here!
And,I've had the oppertunity to go on several dates.
But,nothing serious.

BEFORE You meet anyone, get to know them, talk on here then progress to email. Email for a time until she feels comfortable, you can tell by how often she tries to contact you if she is comfortable. You can also tell how " Comfortable " she is by her responses. Then ask for her # and talk get more peronable, by now you know enough about one another to have more then the " Small Talk " conversations. Ask about her dreams, goals, tell her a secret about yourself you've told no one else. Build TRUST and then ask if you can meet her for coffee, etc. If you have to drive a distance then ASK her for hotels close by, this is especially important if you fly to meet her, so she doesn t have to drive far, or try to find a hotel where a restauarnt or bar or coffee shop are within walking distance so you can go there to meet andshe can leave or you can leave if it doesn t go right.

It works !!! Trust me

{{soxfan}

Wow!Thats great!Most men here seem in a rush to meet or call them!

And as a result, most men on here lament daily about why it hasn't worked out for them. Adaptation is a slow, painful process...particularly for men sometimes it seems.

I think that has a lot to do with the fact that this is specifically a dating site...people seem to think that because the purpose is to date someone, that this means you don't have to follow the normal "take it slow" standards which are essential to dating in real life.

Thanks for your responses. I agree with the slow and easy approach and trying to keep it as close to real life encounters as possible. I have always been more into the person than the persona but have encountered so many women who want to go to the "meeting" quickly. I guess I'll just decide that if that is their wishes then they probably are too superficial for me anyway. Does that make sense?

If it makes sense to you that is all that matters. However, the only way to truly get to know the person and see if there is a connection is to meet in person. Why are you hestiant to meet right away? In real life encounters you've met... It is online situations where the persona can trick you into thinking, seeing, feeling, believing something that is just not real.

Reality, now that shows you what is real!

I became involved with a fellow member and we talked daily for about a month and sporadically for a few weeks before that... then we met in person. We met in person last month, and the reality set in. And it was a reality that was better than fiction. Truth be told, I would have met him for coffee as soon as I could if he did not live on the west coast, 2000 miles away.

The truth is, each situation has it's own exceptions and there should never be any hard and fast rule to most things. I'm personally known as saying such things, then immediately making an exception. So I can relate. But people don't have rules, not really; rather preferences, boundaries, and limitations.

If a woman wants to meet you, she is hardly superficial. She is looking for that chemistry, that connection, to see how you walk, smile, the "air" about you. Try not to be so suspicious.