Lets be honest with ourselves and with our posts on this one.
Would you date or enter a relationship with someone who has a disability?

I know this covers a lot of areas here.
They may be dealing with a condition that may never improve. And may in fact get worse. so if they seemed a good match for you. And were a wonderful person would you still be with them? Or avoid it because you would not want to deal with what could happen to them later?

I have my reasons for asking this. I have MS. And I will get worse over time. I use a cane a lot of the time now. I could easily end up in a wheelchair.

But still have a lot in my heart to give to the right person.

I am not asking if you would date me . I am sure there are others on here that have something to deal with.

So fess up!
Wes

Wow brother, I hope and pray for the best for you..
You do bring up a good point, a tough one at that..
Dating would be hard/ enter a relationship.. However, if the bond between "us" was already established, and I’m in love, I would not question it!!!

Thanks for the kind words. I am dealing with it as best I can. And it has taught me a lot about what is important. Or rather reinforced what I always knew was important.

I do make sure to tell anyone that I talk to that might be someone I could get involved with about my MS. It is the right thing to do.
Some have freaked out. Some are mature enough to handle it. But They need to know.
Wes

Hey Wes, no worries okay. You would have to be a pretty shallow person to turn down a relationship due to a disability! I believe if it was meant to be it will be. Hang in there and keep posting!

Melissa

PS I have Lupus - my immune system is kicking my own a$$ from the inside out. I will never recover and I have limitations. I know where you are coming from.

I was with a girl who had MS before. She didn't tell me at first but....when she told me, I didn't care....I loved her and the MS meant nothing to me, well, it DID but, it didn't. But, we didn't work out cause she lived so far away and the distance became a problem but, we are still friends so, yes I would do it again if the right person came along. I have a disability too. I've had two back surgeries and now the nerves in my legs are damaged from the surgeries. I can still walk fine, just it hurts really bad sometimes....I can still play my drums too....which is all I care about mainly....

Melissa,

I do appreciate what you are saying. My Mother has Lupus and it gets very tough for her at times. Shoot it gets tough for her MOST of the time.

I truly wish you all the best dealing with it. You seem to have a positive attitude about life and I know that makes a HUGE difference!
Take care,
Wes

Wes - I am a firm beleiver in "that which does not kill me makes me stronger!" You have to be positive! It's either laugh or cry and I prefer to laugh! Please take care of yourself and dont worry, it will happen for you. It may not be today or tomorrow or next year, but I truly believe you will find the one for you! Good Luck!

Don't give up Wes....there are many of us that have a disablity of some sort. But it's a disablity of the body not the heart and soul. Good luck, Candy

I would never argue with a nurse... Especially such a pretty one! Thanks!

Hey Wes, What she said!!!!

Retired nurse.......Thank you and your Welcome!

I guess it all comes down to what the disability was and how if affected a first meeting and so on. It wouldn't be a deal breaker in and of itself. It would just be a factor to take into consideration and how it interconnected with other factors.

Did that make sense? It makes sense in my head but sounds garbled out loud. Of course, that could be the splitting headache I have. Anyway....

The scenario given is that a person was a good match and wonderful person to be around, would it be a deal breaker?

I might give it some thought, but it probably would not be a deal breaker, assuming that there was a connection and attraction. If there wasn't that connection and attraction but the above was still true, I would like to develop the friendship. It still wouldn't be a deal breaker.

Now, I meet someone who was a good match and a wonderful person to be around, but there was no spark or attraction. Not sure why that happens sometimes. Would have liked his friendship, but he wanted more, so he moved on. He didn't want to find friends, he wanted to find a girlfriend.

That doesn't exactly fit, but it is a progression of the thought process. I guess I just followed a rabbit down the rabbit hole.

Um, I'm on the verge of doing stream of consciousness writing, so I'll stop now.

I have epilepsy and it does make the search more difficult as I can not drive and I will not go out with someone without them knowing. I reveal it very early even in email or spoken talks because I do not want to like soemone and have them back off later though even then that stil happens. My prayers are with you and I pray we both meet our partners in life.

I do agree it should be taken into consideration. And it does not mean that the person is a bad person if they cannot handle being with someone with a disability. Far better to not get started if they are not going to be able to handle it.

Better disappointment now then heartbreak later. I do hope that people who have not thought about it will read this thread and consider what it means to be with a disabled person.
They need to look in their heart.

One point I made when talking with someone I did date for a while was that if they were in a relationship and something happened to their partner, a disease or accident. and their partner became disabled. Would they stick around? And of course they said they would.
Well this can happen at any time to anyone. I had no clue I would have this happen to me.

I really do appreciate all the kind words and support. It means a lot. And it shows there are people on here with a good heart.
Wes

i would but it would have to be something that i could handle. I don't think it would be fare to the person if i were more sensative to the disability than that person.

I for one truly know where you are coming from I were born with scoliosis that a cure to the spine mine is more worst curve were you truly can notice it but I don't let this get to me just enjoy life more then others probable even more Point I did date a guy who is blind and we have a handsome son well now we are just roommates and great friends He is now in relationship with a good woman and I'm also in a good relationship and engaged to a good man Point no one should judge a book by it's cover for disablity need love too just give us a chance

I not only would but have, in college I met a beautiful lady in a chair, and we hung out a lot together, went dancing,etc, and I would do it again without hesitation!!!

I think most people would like to think they would. But I think the honest answer would be that they would try. I've known two women whose husbands said the same thing when they had a child that was born with a disability. But after a couple years of dealing with the child, they decided that it was just too much for them and they divorced the mother because they couldn't deal with the issues the child had.

I think it is difficult enough to face the situation when your partner has something happen to them. But to leave your own child, your own flesh and blood, because you can't handle a medical issue, and leave your partner to handle it alone, kinda makes me sick. On the other hand, it is probably better for the child that to raise it in an environment of resentment.

There is a great amount of truth in what you are saying. And it makes me sick too.
I cannot imagine leaving a child because of that. But as you say it could be better for the child then if they stayed.
A heart breaking situation....

While working for a board shop, I tested and trouble shot pc boards. The ergonomics was poor, so I ended up with two cervical fusions! Even before this, I dated someone with a disability. What is in your heart counts, not what is on your heart!!!