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| Topic: Help Please | |
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Sounds like you are what is often called a secondary victim. This woman is definitely NOT ready for a relationship, marriage, and most definitely marriage. Sounds like you are headed for an abuseive relationship where you are going to be the whipping post for all her anger. While the sex might be confuseing this woman is definitely not ready and you are asking for trouble if you continue. LMAO Whipping post for her anger? |
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when did this happen????
 She needs some sort of counselling and therapy........
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Sounds like you are what is often called a secondary victim. This woman is definitely NOT ready for a relationship, marriage, and most definitely marriage. Sounds like you are headed for an abuseive relationship where you are going to be the whipping post for all her anger. While the sex might be confuseing this woman is definitely not ready and you are asking for trouble if you continue. LMAO Whipping post for her anger? Yea right now it doesn't seem like such a big deal the moodiness and hypersensitivity even the control in the bedroom but I guarantee you a few years down the road it will feel like you are getting a daily arse whipping. Be VERY VERY careful that you DO NOT bring a child into this world with a mother who has so much she is clearly struggleing to cope with already. |
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If she's being controlling over the sex and demanding of it, she's just using it as part of her self-loathing... this girl needs counseling.. i cannot stress that enough. Until she learns to start caring about herself and validating herself as a human being with feelings who deserves to be loved and not abused, she will use sex as her own weapon against herself... she will not be able to build up her self esteem as long as she is still having sex... she needs to take a break to find herself. i see where you're goin with this, however i don't agree with it.. she can very well be using sex as a self defense thing, instead of a weapon.. she can use it as the only thing she has control over in her life, she may feel like it's the one thing she CAN control.. Since you pretty much reiterated what I said, how is it you don't agree? If she continues to have sex and regrets the sex later, was it not used as a weapon against herself? |
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lol ...how long?...2 weeks... it gets better...She ALREADY wants marriage..and children... (keep in mind..i agreed ..to seek help for her) she is a really good girl...but im not sure what to do..i need more specifics... So everyone agrees she will always have the doubt huh? The sex end doesnt seem to affect her |
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As a woman... that is my only perspective to speak from. I know that there were times in my life that I was not ready to be in a relationship, although it would have been nice.
I firmly believe if I am not happy and emotionally healthy and/or stable then I could never be any sort of a positive influence in a relationship. I do believe in the 100/100 format of a couple, but there are times you need to give 90% and times where you take 90%. But that comes down the road. To begin a relationship on such uneven footing would set a standard, so to speak... in the giving and taking realm. If you're a "giver" and always want to be that, I say go for it. But if you want equality she might just not be there yet. I'd advise, along with everyone else, to step away and be a friend. See what happens, and truly find out where she is and what you want your role to be before you get swept away. . |
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