A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver in it....

Cop : "Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly?"

Blonde : "Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65."

Cop : "Oh miss, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on!"

Blonde : "Oh! Stupid me! Thanks for letting me know, Ill be more careful from now on."

At this point the cop looks into the back seat of the car, where the passengers are shaking and white as ghosts.

Cop : "Excuse me miss, what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking something awful."

Blonde : "Oh... We just got off of highway 119".

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blonde and the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall blonde, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is a blonde, 6' 2, weighs 225 and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6' 5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

Am I winning yet?

Once there were 3 people in an airplane, one took a bite out of an apple. She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of the plane. The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she
thought it was too sour so, she threw it out of the plane. Then the last person took a bite out of a gernade and he thought it was too crunchy so, he threw it out of the plane. Then they landed and decided to go for a walk. They first passed a little girl who was crying and they asked, "little girl, little girl, why are you crying?" and the little girl said, "an apple came down and killed my new kitty".
Next they passed a little boy who was also crying. And they again asked, "little boy, little boy, why are you crying?" and the little boy said, "a lemon came down and killed my new puppy." Then they passed a blonde sitting on the side walk laughing her butt off. They asked, "why are you laughing so hard?" and the blonde said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up!!"

119 isn't all that fast, especially on the highway.

not that i condone that or do it...anymore

Now ya know I got ya`ll beat

To my favorite people

Ya know you are all NUMBER 1 in my heart

Lmao

I had the feeling someone was watching me

One day I was cruising in my '71 Mach1 and decided to see what it could do.
I flew past a cop radar and within minutes he was close behind, so I pushed the car harder and started losin the cop when I finally decided I better just pull over before I get in any REAL trouble.
The cop pulls up behind me and gets out, hands on his pistol grip, gets to my window and yells at me, "You better have the goddam best reason I ever heard for not pullin' over!!"
So I apologized and told him, "Well you see sir, my wife ran off with a cop about 3 weeks ago and I thought you were trying to give her back."
He let me off with a warning

people who think they are all that and are NOT

Actually, one annoying person was also one that amused me most of the time and so what if I disagreed some of the time. He made me laugh and giggle a lot. But I haven't seen him in something like 3 weeks. Wonder if he pissed the wrong person off and got booted.

lol, alright. think i'm out for a bit, days or so. this site makes me laugh

have a good one toasted

ok tom you win

no no I have the title here scotty

Noway OC,you are too cool to be annoying:smoking


and that guy with the dumb jokes really put in the effort

but but lol I have worked hard for my title I dont wanna give it up




and that wasnt right