Pet Monkey


Jim walks into a bar with his pet monkey and orders a drink. While he's drinking it, the monkey is jumping all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes off the
bar and eats them. The monkey then jumps onto the pool table and to everyone's amazement, swallows the cue ball whole. The bar tender says to Jim, 'Did you see what your monkey just did?' 'No, what?' Says Jim. 'He
just ate the cue ball off my pool table whole!!' 'That doesn't surprise me', says Jim. 'He eats everything in sight, the little pig. Sorry, I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff.' He pays for the stuff and leaves.

Two weeks later he comes in again with the monkey. Jim orders a drink and as he drinks it, the monkey is again jumping all over. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and eats it. He then finds a peanut, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and eats it. The bartender, disgusted, says to Jim, 'Did you see what your monkey has done
now?' 'No, what?' Says Jim. 'Well he stuck a cherry and a peanut up his butt and then ate it!' 'Yah, that doesn't surprise me.' Says Jim. ' He still eats everything in site, but ever since he had to pass that cueball, he measures everything first!'

congrats, I actually laughed out loud after that one.