We all need work. That's why we post: to hopefully get honest and constructive critiques. I belong to several writing workshops myself, and review other's work, but like to post here occasionally.

Im glad you happen to see some of my work,
your the only one that disliked Deaths Parade so far, and many have read it,
There is one I will post now, I like most

I didnt say I dislike it. It just doesnt move me. I can't connect to it. It doesn't draw me in. Big difference.

Laugh with the devil,

Then cry,

Play hold'em with the reaper,

Holding four aces, knowing he don't play fair,

My blood like fine wine,

Aged to profection,



Watch others try,

Try to laugh with the devil,

Watch others try,

Try to play hold'em with the reaper,



Watch them cry with the devil,

Watch them lose with a for of a kind with the reaper,

Watch them drink my blood...and die,



Watch them, watch them closely,

Maybe you might laugh next time,

Maybe you might get a royal flush next time,

Maybe you will see that my blood is like poision next time,



Maybe you wont get a next time,

Play your cards right and maybe......

I'll put a good word in, when I'm laughing and playing hold'em with a bottle of my fine wine

oh, Im sry, I misread