LOOK KARMA, I go to find you joke & get this !!!


For those who love the philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity.....

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still
have monkeys and apes?

5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the
bad girls live.
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the
self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the
purpose.

7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is
it considered a hostage situation?

10. Is there another word for synonym?

11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an
endangered plant?

13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will
clean them?

16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
remain silent?

19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road
signs?

21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

25. How is it possible to have a civil war?

26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have "S" in it?

30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?

31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

33. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God

1- ok check will try to keep that in mind, ok next one

2- yeah it happens

3- hmmm never knew

4- some are just slow learners i guess

5-damn hook me up Santa, in fact THATS what i want for xmas gimme that
list !

6- yeah i hate when they say that

7-hypothetically... i dont know

8- nah she dips then crazy hot water...crazy hot soapy water in fact

9- only if they want something in return otherwise its just assault with
a mental weapon.

10- mynonys maybe ?

11- i was told the ocean.

12- yell at the plant for tempting the animal to eat it.

13- sure why not! if its in the US then anythng is possible far as
sueing goes.

14- thats what i thought to turns out they are simple known as a fly
with a disiblity

15- they lock them so they who it is thats gunna use it. that way they
know if its worth turning on the hidden cameras or not to get a "sneak
peak"

16- hes shit out of luck thats what he is, poor guy

17- yes they can i mean if a dire in the wool vegan claims eating shrimp
is ok then anything is poosible ( LOL this is a true story!!)

18- i think they just reverse it. i'll have to ask a mime some thime and
see what he says.

19- cuz it be trendy yo

20- everyone knows deer are able to read street signs ..DUH

21-unsliced bread

22- only when there is no one else around

23- i think it was sea shells... guess its a one size fits all thing
under the sea /shrug

24- i dunno but other infants, but i all wanted to do was sleep and to
be left the hell alone.

25- fling some dog crap at the person living closest to you then you
will understand.

26- yes, its in their "code of order" no one takes one for the team,
they all take one for the team

27- only if its between 11pm-4am

28- failed with finesse

29- recall that person i spoke of earlier that you should fling dog crap
at? it was that person.

30- heh does it really need to be asked, i think we all know

31-OH CRAP your telling me we CAN'T shoot them? shit i got some cleaning
up to do be right back.

32- and you thought it was sour to begin with.... lol try it after the
date if your looking for an extra kick.

33- claims are only vaild Friday-ish through Sunday-ish. depends on what
the company considers "gods day" ya know what i mean ?

>_< damn typos just when you thought you got every one of them....

WOW!! how did you do that?? ;)~

lol... it happens when its weee in the morning and NOTHING to do =P

those were both good

14- thats what i thought to turns out they are simple known as a fly
with a disiblity

Please let's try to show some humanity and be PC about this.
They are called "aerodynamically challeneged"

yeah your right on that one, im sorry if i offended any flies out there
missing their wings or have had them plucked off . ^_^

enough already. Ribs are killing me. ROFLMAO

woot found IT

hmm there was another one though somewhere...