Actually I see this as pretty cut and dry my kids were my whole life for 16 years. Yeah being a single parent for that long is not easy in this day in time. But............. our children should come first regardless. Relationships should never be put beofore our kids.

To me there is no man nor woman that should come before your kids. If they can not understand and don't bend there schedule a tad in order to be with you then believe me they are not the right one.

Even tho I have been single all these years the ones I dated, it did not matter if they had kids are not figured they would be more understanding if they did.

But still those 16 years I never had a man live with me. I figured if I did anything in my life it would be to raise my kids. I had no intentions of getting married I went through the step- parent process as a kid it was not good so I made the choice my kids were not going through that they had been through enough.

Now my kids are 23 & 25 both well adjusted my son has a great job with Hailuburton Gas and my daughter is on her last part of her college and working a full time job for a Doctors Office.

No matter what I look back and see the hardships we had and yeah I do think at times of the past loves and my choices caused me one of them but all in all I would do it all over again for my kids. We are very close they were my world for 16 years and they are my heart. And will be till the day I die.

They both have a good relationship with there Dad yeah I did try very hard to make them see no matter what happen between us there Dad was there Dad and he did love them.

Now I figure it is my time. It is not easy making those choices at times but if they are the right one things will work out if not then well move on kids always first they did not ask for what they got and had no choice in the situation. The least we can do in life is give them the best we can and make sure they are well adjusted.

Even when I did date now it was at least 2-3 month before they ever meet my kids even.

Good luck in what ever your choices are.

That is great! I am sure it helped that both parents were involved in their life...Good for you and good job!

It's great that you got rid of her. Kids always come first. I have a older cousin that remarried and sent his son to live with his mother and his daughter to live in a group home because his new wife has 4 kids of her own and didn't like his kids. Needless to say, I no longer speak to this jerkoff and when I see him we're gonna have a REAL long talk.

what an idiot!!! let me know if you want some HELP talking to him

if she is this upset now its only going to get worse later

If she can't understand the realtionship between you and your child and the time that you need to invest
its a sign of some selfish part in their character, I don't see how it will ever change.
she sounds needy wanting all the attention.

move on and good luck, once you find someone that is totally understanding to your life, and responsibilities that go with it
you will know that balance.

Thanx, but he's all mine.....lol

well there Dad was not involved in there lives like he should have been very seldom took them anywhere but I still tried to make them see he still loved them in his own way.

It is very hard to date and be a sole provider for your children. The term next to impossible comes to mind! I refuse to parade a bunch of men in and out of my girls' lives and I also refuse to leave them with a babysitter on a regular basis. They are my babies and I will be the one to raise them. If someone can't undrstand that then they need to move on. I am hoping someday to meet a man with kids who can understand my situation. They seem to be few and far between!

very few!!!

My Daughter is 13yrs. old now & off riding horses all the time now.
I had 2 relationships since she was a baby.
The last one was 4 yrs ago & that was for about 6mo.
It was a pain in the azz cuz they were so jealous of each other.

I'm not into the "Dating" Thing.

your daughter was jealous of him? why?

If he was near me she would wiggle in between & If he wasn't here she would be off doing what ever.
I went thru that with a guy I was with too.
He had a boy & a girl.
The boy just loved me to death. She would be climbing all over him if I was sitting on the couch not even next to him.
It's been 20 yrs & she tells me I hated you when I was a kid.
Now our kids show horses together..

my son always comes first..i met a guy and cos i said no to him staying threw the week..cos it would mess up school mornings started dictating to me that my son wasnt that in important..and he should come first ...lol lol ..dont think so byeeee

go girl!!! right to the curb!

HE'S WEAK!!!!

thanks guys yeh i dont tolerate it ...a childs needs are more important

I have no time to date anyone really..Haven't dated for three years and loved everyday of being single. My son is awesome and I wouldn't trade a moment with him for any guy in the world. I go on dates but I make sure they know that a relationship just isn't going to happen. So maybe tell anyone you go on a date with (if they expect another one and so on) that they shouldn't get serious with you cause you don't have the time they might want and need from you. That way its fare for everyone involved...

my ex is having a hell of a time with his woman almost like you described.
she complains that he spends too much time with our son. the last few weeks my work schedule made me do closing and night shifts so the ex took over the time schedule to spend it with our son.
I was not at the house, or anywhere near and the Ex is gone by the time I was off work, our son is ten and it is the beginning stages of our split so he is adjusting. to limited time with his dad. she has fits every time he comes over here.
she tells him that she doesn't understand why he comes over here in the first place and feels that if he wants to spend time with his son he can do it with her.
she complains about how our son is and what he does, or likes to do. and that she doesn't get to be with the ex and our son when they are together unless its in one of those huge group settings with her nieces and nephews.
then she has the nerve to complain about his work schedule as well. he spends too much time working and doesn't put her first.
she hates that we do get along not in a realtionship kind of way but as two people that share a child and we both make him come first next to our work schedules.
So if your not too invested in this woman you are dating, go with your instinct and let her on her way,
there are many out here who totally understand what you are going through as a single parent.
when you find one who truly understands your needs too both of you wont even notice that the responsibilities come first it will just be a natural thing that fits into both of your schedules.
you don't have to put off relationships you just have to find the right one for you and your needs.
good luck

well ur daughter is very important and see is #1 and ur job pays for stuff. so i am sorry dating is in between those 2 priortys.

then get somebody that knows those r important and she will be 3rd.

There needs to be a happy medium on both sides.......everyone deserves to be happy!