On a sunny summer afternoon, a truck driver and his pet parrot "Petey" are cruising cross-country in their semi. Suddenly, the trucker spies a hot teenage girl along the road. He immediately pulls his truck to the side of the road. "Do you need a ride?" he asks.
"Yeah" says the girl, climbing anxiously into the truck.

As they're progressing down the highway, the trucker asks the girl if she'd like to get in the back and screw.

"Hell no!" says the girl.

"Well," says the truck driver as he pulls his truck to the side, "No screw, no ride." He abruptly kicks the girl out of his rig.

A short while later, the driver spots another fine teenage girl along the roadside. Again he offers a ride, and again his offer is accepted graciously. After a while, the truck driver asks the girl if she'd like to get in the back and screw.

"Not for my life!" says the girl.

"Well," says the driver, "No screw, no ride." He pulls over and tells the girl to get out.

Before long, the trucker spies a third teenage cutie along the roadside. He offers her a ride and she accepts. A few miles go by and the trucker decides to try his luck again.

"Do you want to get in the back and screw?" he says.

"Sure! Let's do it!" replies the girl.

At this point, the trucker takes Petey and puts him in the trailer with his cargo. He then proceeds to make mad love to the minor in his cab. Upon finishing the deed, the girl says that she doesn't really need to go any farther. This is fine with the trucker, so he lets her out and continues down the road.

Before long, he starts to get a really guilty conscience about what he did. "What if that girl reports me???" he thinks to himself.

No sooner did that thought cross his mind when he noticed a police cruiser behind him with its lights flashing and sirens blaring.

"Oh great," the trucker thinks to himself, "maybe she did report me."

"What's the problem officer?" says the truck driver to the policeman.

"No problem really, other than the fact that you're losing your cargo out the back door... I just thought I'd let you know."

"Oh shoot!" says the truck driver upon realizing that he forgot to bring Petey back up front.

The trucker and the cop walk around to the back of the trailer, and sure enough, there's Petey... throwing the frozen chicken cargo out of the back while cawing "NO SCREW, NO RIDE!"

tripin hard