Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.
*******************************************
Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.
**********************************************
Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man,
'What have you got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon,
'Pies, you dumb ass'
***************************************
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
****************************************
Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

Somebody already posted these yesterday.

You're almost ripping off Andrew "Dice" Clay.

Those are good, but The Man from Nantucket is funnier

too funny.. i missed them yesterday.. thanks!

My pleasure